[{"id":"e854393","elType":"section","settings":{"stretch_section":"section-stretched","background_background":"classic","background_image":{"url":"https:\/\/www.lissyabrahams.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_2139813481-scaled.jpg","id":5018,"alt":"","source":"library"},"background_position":"initial","background_repeat":"no-repeat","background_size":"cover","background_overlay_background":"classic","background_overlay_color":"#000000","background_overlay_opacity":{"unit":"px","size":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,"sizes":[]},"background_ypos":{"unit":"px","size":-174,"sizes":[]},"background_xpos":{"unit":"px","size":7,"sizes":[]}},"elements":[{"id":"82bf9b1","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"d95d219","elType":"widget","settings":{"space":{"unit":"px","size":112,"sizes":[]}},"elements":[],"widgetType":"spacer"},{"id":"ade2076","elType":"widget","settings":{"subheading_text":"","heading_text":"MamaM!a","description_text":"","heading_tag":"h1","text_align":"center","heading_color":"#FFFFFF","heading_typography_typography":"custom","heading_typography_font_size":{"unit":"px","size":60,"sizes":[]},"heading_typography_font_size_mobile":{"unit":"px","size":40,"sizes":[]},"heading_typography_letter_spacing":{"unit":"px","size":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,"sizes":[]}},"elements":[],"widgetType":"cms_heading"},{"id":"a72ff32","elType":"widget","settings":{"space":{"unit":"px","size":125,"sizes":[]}},"elements":[],"widgetType":"spacer"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"22aae0e","elType":"section","settings":{"margin":{"unit":"px","top":"91","right":0,"bottom":"0","left":0,"isLinked":false}},"elements":[{"id":"b31baff","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"f7c748c","elType":"widget","settings":{"subheading_text":"Article - source: Mamamia","heading_text":"There Are Only 2 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life, According to a Psychotherapist","description_text":"5 May 2022"},"elements":[],"widgetType":"cms_heading"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"dab5d10","elType":"section","settings":[],"elements":[{"id":"1fb5858","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"3c137ff","elType":"widget","settings":{"editor":"<p>When it comes to\u00a0relationships, more often than not you\u2019ll find us talking about the rollercoaster ride that is romance and dating \u2013 the\u00a0red flags! The\u00a0green flags! Ghosting! The whole shebang.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>However, in my years of writing about relationships and\u00a0interviewing psychologists, if there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learnt it\u2019s this: our relationships with our friends are more important than we might think. And they can largely affect our happiness and our health. Yes, really!<\/p><p>Ask any expert and they\u2019ll tell you that the need for a friendship and connection runs deep \u2013 it\u2019s something that\u2019s just built into us.<\/p><p>Psychotherapist\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\u00a0said, \u201cHumans are social animals have always needed friendships and connections with others for their survival. Primitive man faced impending death when isolated from family and friends, as they were rather weak compared to other creatures in the wild. Forming friendships allowed us to be stronger than any one individual.\u201d<\/p><p>\u201cAs social animals we originally formed trusting connections with others to help each other obtain food, shelter, and ward off predators. Even though we no longer live in the wild, we are still hard-wired for this form of interconnectedness.\u201d<\/p><p>Interesting, no?<\/p><p>\u201cWe still connect with others because our drive to survive still exists and tells us to catch up with people, make new friends when we move to a new area or new workplace. We are still wired to seek belonging and connection, we\u2019re just not aware why.\u201d<\/p><p>Research\u00a0even tells us that people with strong friendships are more likely to live longer. It can also benefit your mental health, as different friends can provide different emotional needs.<\/p><p>\u201cWith friends in our life we typically live longer, some studies even suggest friends can add years to our lives. They are good for us in so many ways,\u201d adds Abrahams.<\/p><p>Looking back at the COVID-19 lockdowns and our\u00a0mental health during the pandemic, it\u2019s easy to see how what can happen to our state of mind when we didn\u2019t share that face-to-face connection with friends.<\/p><p>\u201cWhilst we try to make the most of it with online catch-ups, drinks and dress-ups, we still missed being in the same space as friends. The mental health of millions around the world plummeted. Our psychological distress was real. Our reliance on alcohol and drugs skyrocketed.\u201d<\/p><p>So, yeah. Friendship is pretty integral to our health.<\/p><p>But making friends, learning how to be a friend, and how to keep good friends is something we\u2019re constantly learning and re-learning \u2013 no matter how old we are.<\/p><p>According to Abrahams, there are two main\u00a0types of\u00a0friends you should surround yourself with.<\/p>"},"elements":[],"widgetType":"text-editor"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"05d67e9","elType":"section","settings":[],"elements":[{"id":"dddd653","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"b97ba78","elType":"widget","settings":{"title":"1. Geographical Friends","header_size":"h3","_padding":{"unit":"px","top":"8","right":"0","bottom":"0","left":"0","isLinked":false}},"elements":[],"widgetType":"heading"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"52c9ccf","elType":"section","settings":[],"elements":[{"id":"1f71192","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"b6411ec","elType":"widget","settings":{"editor":"<p>The first type of friends you should have are geographical friends. That is, the friends you make because you share a particular location with them.<\/p><p>\u201cRemember, building communities is primitively wired into our DNA. It\u2019s what we do. So, if you\u2019re in a new environment, you\u2019ll be on the lookout for connection with others, as this will increase your desire for safety,\u201d said Abrahams.<\/p><p>Bless!<\/p><p>\u201cIf you join a new gym, school, workplace, or move to a new neighbourhood your mind will be checking out those in your vicinity for future friendship. We cannot underestimate the importance of these connections, as they enrich the new environment.\u201d<\/p><p>\u201cFor example, a friendly neighbour keeps an eye on you and notices things that may be somewhat\u00a0out of kilter for you at home or in the area. They may offer support when you go through hard times or enliven your home when you catch up.\u201d<\/p><p>The same logic applies to workmates.<\/p><p>If you\u2019ve worked in an environment where you didn\u2019t feel you had a friend or someone you could vent to during a stressful day, you\u2019ll know how much it sucks. It\u2019s not that you need to hang out outside of the office \u2013 but having a support system at work is crucial.<\/p><p>\u201cWe spend more of our waking hours at work than we do at home. Good work friendships can make or break a job. Some jobs may be dull, even somewhat depressing, yet the friendships make it great. Friends help you look forward to going to work and enjoying your time together,\u201d said Abrahams<\/p><p>The not-so-good part? These type of friendships don\u2019t always last.<\/p><p>\u201cIf we move jobs or finish university, we may not remain in contact. If we go to a new gym, we may ease off contact with our previous gym buddy,\u201d said Abrahams.<\/p><p>\u201cThis can be confusing for some people as they thought the relationship was important irrespective of the current environment.\u201d<\/p><p>However, thanks to social media, these days it\u2019s so much easier to keep in touch with geographical friends, \u201cas not everyone wants to make lengthy phone calls or \u2018how are you?\u2019 emails,\u201d said Abrahams.<\/p><p>\u201cIf we maintain geographical friendships out of a particular environment they become intentional friendships, no longer bound by the geographic proximity.\u201d<\/p><p>Which brings us to\u2026<\/p>"},"elements":[],"widgetType":"text-editor"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"9736d49","elType":"section","settings":[],"elements":[{"id":"722747a","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"a008783","elType":"widget","settings":{"title":"2. Intentional Friends","header_size":"h3","_padding":{"unit":"px","top":"08","right":"0","bottom":"0","left":"0","isLinked":false}},"elements":[],"widgetType":"heading"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false},{"id":"926dd8b","elType":"section","settings":[],"elements":[{"id":"7df8d29","elType":"column","settings":{"_column_size":100,"_inline_size":null},"elements":[{"id":"fa21e62","elType":"widget","settings":{"editor":"<p>\u201cIntentional friends are those you maintain as you have shared values and provide meaning, offer support, interest, and joy to your life,\u201d shares Abrahams.<\/p><p>These\u00a0particular\u00a0friends can be split up into six different sub-categories:<\/p><p><b>a) One or more full-spectrum best friends<\/b><\/p><p>Whether you\u2019re having second thoughts about your relationship or stressing about your career, a full-spectrum best friend is there to help guide you in the right direction and pull you through the tough times.<\/p><p>\u201cThese friends are there both in the good and bad times and everything in between. They\u2019re the go-to friends for happy news and celebrations. They can share your joy, and they can also unconditionally love and support you through some pretty hairy times.\u201d<\/p><p>\u201cFull-spectrum best friends may not always like your behaviour or opinions, but they don\u2019t judge you or pull away. They\u2019re loyal and would show their support of you to others even if you\u2019re absent.\u201d<\/p><p>\u201cThese best friends help you find light and laughter even in dark times. They sit with you and are not afraid of your grief or distress, whether it\u2019s a breakup, loss of a job, or sickness. They show you through actions and words that you\u2019re not alone.\u201d<\/p><p><b>b) The completely honest friend<\/b><\/p><p>Ah. The brutally honest friend. These kinds\u00a0of\u00a0friends don\u2019t tiptoe around anything and aren\u2019t worried they\u2019re going to hurt your feelings \u2013 they always remain genuine and open and aren\u2019t afraid to tell you the truth.<\/p><p>\u201cThese friends don\u2019t play along with social niceties and are honest with you all the time. They speak their mind, call your BS, and tell you how they feel about your life. They may sound judgemental, yet they\u2019re often trying to support or even protect you,\u201d said Abrahams.<\/p><p>The thing about completely honest friends is that they know your relationship is strong enough to sustain the truth. So, while it\u2019s not always easy (it might even hurt a little), they\u2019re not scared to tell you where you can improve.<\/p><p>And honestly, they\u2019re so important to have in your life.<\/p><p>\u201cThey will tell you whether you are being unfair to your partner or too harsh with your kids. They will tell you if you\u2019re being treated appallingly and need to get out of your relationship or a dead-end job. Their honesty is how they show they value you.\u201d<\/p><p><b>c) A mentor friend<\/b><\/p><p>Yes, friendships and mentors can co-exist.<\/p><p>\u201cWe no longer live in tribes with wise elders to tap into. We have less contact with religious figures offering advice, and we no longer believe politicians can guide us honestly without their self-interest flaunted in our face. Having friends who are mentors is critical for guiding, advising, thinking through options and opening possibilities.\u201d<\/p><p>Most mentor relationships play a consistent role in your life and will help you challenge your assumptions and give you the insights, advice and support you need to thrive.<\/p><p>\u201cThese friends are wise and can analyse situations and hold complexity in mind. They steer clear of black and white simplistic thinking. They\u2019ve lived a bit, learnt lessons along the way, and are happy to share their experiences to support your journey.\u201d<\/p><p><b>d) A \u2018like a mum\u2019 friend<\/b><\/p><p>This one \u2013 this one\u2019s important. The \u2018mum\u2019 friend is that one friend in your circle that\u2019s responsible, caring and always protective of you.<\/p><p>\u201cThis is the friend who shows up at your door when they hear a wobble in your voice. They see themselves as part of the solution to the wobble and able to offer comfort. You feel safe to be vulnerable in their presence and even be held by them when you cry,\u201d said Abrahams.<\/p><p>\u201cThey\u2019ll fix a meal, encourage you to eat and get you more tissues for your tears and snot. They\u2019re reassuring about the future being better than this moment of distress or pain.\u201d<\/p><p>We\u2019re not crying, you\u2019re crying!<\/p><p><b>e) The encouraging friend<\/b><\/p><p>\u201cThis is the friend who wants you to grow and supports your development. They encourage you to expand your life experiences whether through travel, study, or career change.\u201d<\/p><p>Encouraging friends push us out of our comfort zones and where we need to go, making us aware that we can always do better. These kinds of friends believe in you, they know you\u2019re capable, and they\u2019re always ready to cheer you on from the side-line.<\/p><p>\u201cThey\u2019re not fearful of a little risk for a greater reward and want you to have an experience-rich life too. For example, they may encourage you to travel for a year even if it means you\u2019re not around for them. They see your growth as separate from their own lives.\u201d<\/p><p><b>f) The friend \u2018I do that with\u2019<\/b><\/p><p>You know the one. This is the person who\u2019s always down to hang out. You\u2019re bored on a Sunday arvo with nothing to do? This is who you call.<\/p><p>\u201cIt\u2019s great to have friends you have shared specific experiences with. This could be someone who loves exercising with you, walking dogs, going to the movies or comedy shows with. The friendship thrives as you both love and value the experience. It could be your shared thing is nightclubbing or festivals or playing cards or sharing your Wordle results with every day.\u201d<\/p><p>\u201cThe friend \u2018I do that with\u2019 may also relate to the content and quality of the interaction. Some friendships thrive on having interesting philosophical\/life discussions or talking complete s**t together. This type of friend could be the friend you have the greatest laughs with or have amazing ideas and feel creative with.\u201d<\/p><p>Want to hear more? We\u2019ve got you covered! Check out this e-book on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lissyabrahams.com\/service\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\/\"><strong>what makes a couple relationship a happy one<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>"},"elements":[],"widgetType":"text-editor"}],"isInner":false}],"isInner":false}]