(16467,5059,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"There Are Only 2 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life, According to a Psychotherapist\",\"description_text\":\"5 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, more often than not you\\u2019ll find us talking about the rollercoaster ride that is romance and dating \\u2013 the\\u00a0red flags! The\\u00a0green flags! Ghosting! The whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>However, in my years of writing about relationships and\\u00a0interviewing psychologists, if there\\u2019s one thing I\\u2019ve learnt it\\u2019s this: our relationships with our friends are more important than we might think. And they can largely affect our happiness and our health. Yes, really!<\\/p><p>Ask any expert and they\\u2019ll tell you that the need for a friendship and connection runs deep \\u2013 it\\u2019s something that\\u2019s just built into us.<\\/p><p>Psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said, \\u201cHumans are social animals have always needed friendships and connections with others for their survival. Primitive man faced impending death when isolated from family and friends, as they were rather weak compared to other creatures in the wild. Forming friendships allowed us to be stronger than any one individual.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs social animals we originally formed trusting connections with others to help each other obtain food, shelter, and ward off predators. Even though we no longer live in the wild, we are still hard-wired for this form of interconnectedness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Interesting, no?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe still connect with others because our drive to survive still exists and tells us to catch up with people, make new friends when we move to a new area or new workplace. We are still wired to seek belonging and connection, we\\u2019re just not aware why.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Research\\u00a0even tells us that people with strong friendships are more likely to live longer. It can also benefit your mental health, as different friends can provide different emotional needs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWith friends in our life we typically live longer, some studies even suggest friends can add years to our lives. They are good for us in so many ways,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Looking back at the COVID-19 lockdowns and our\\u00a0mental health during the pandemic, it\\u2019s easy to see how what can happen to our state of mind when we didn\\u2019t share that face-to-face connection with friends.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst we try to make the most of it with online catch-ups, drinks and dress-ups, we still missed being in the same space as friends. The mental health of millions around the world plummeted. Our psychological distress was real. Our reliance on alcohol and drugs skyrocketed.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, yeah. Friendship is pretty integral to our health.<\\/p><p>But making friends, learning how to be a friend, and how to keep good friends is something we\\u2019re constantly learning and re-learning \\u2013 no matter how old we are.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, there are two main\\u00a0types of\\u00a0friends you should surround yourself with.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Geographical Friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first type of friends you should have are geographical friends. That is, the friends you make because you share a particular location with them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cRemember, building communities is primitively wired into our DNA. It\\u2019s what we do. So, if you\\u2019re in a new environment, you\\u2019ll be on the lookout for connection with others, as this will increase your desire for safety,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Bless!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you join a new gym, school, workplace, or move to a new neighbourhood your mind will be checking out those in your vicinity for future friendship. We cannot underestimate the importance of these connections, as they enrich the new environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, a friendly neighbour keeps an eye on you and notices things that may be somewhat\\u00a0out of kilter for you at home or in the area. They may offer support when you go through hard times or enliven your home when you catch up.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same logic applies to workmates.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019ve worked in an environment where you didn\\u2019t feel you had a friend or someone you could vent to during a stressful day, you\\u2019ll know how much it sucks. It\\u2019s not that you need to hang out outside of the office \\u2013 but having a support system at work is crucial.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe spend more of our waking hours at work than we do at home. Good work friendships can make or break a job. Some jobs may be dull, even somewhat depressing, yet the friendships make it great. Friends help you look forward to going to work and enjoying your time together,\\u201d said Abrahams<\\/p><p>The not-so-good part? These type of friendships don\\u2019t always last.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we move jobs or finish university, we may not remain in contact. If we go to a new gym, we may ease off contact with our previous gym buddy,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be confusing for some people as they thought the relationship was important irrespective of the current environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, thanks to social media, these days it\\u2019s so much easier to keep in touch with geographical friends, \\u201cas not everyone wants to make lengthy phone calls or \\u2018how are you?\\u2019 emails,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we maintain geographical friendships out of a particular environment they become intentional friendships, no longer bound by the geographic proximity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Which brings us to\\u2026<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Intentional Friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIntentional friends are those you maintain as you have shared values and provide meaning, offer support, interest, and joy to your life,\\u201d shares Abrahams.<\\/p><p>These\\u00a0particular\\u00a0friends can be split up into six different sub-categories:<\\/p><p><b>a) One or more full-spectrum best friends<\\/b><\\/p><p>Whether you\\u2019re having second thoughts about your relationship or stressing about your career, a full-spectrum best friend is there to help guide you in the right direction and pull you through the tough times.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends are there both in the good and bad times and everything in between. They\\u2019re the go-to friends for happy news and celebrations. They can share your joy, and they can also unconditionally love and support you through some pretty hairy times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cFull-spectrum best friends may not always like your behaviour or opinions, but they don\\u2019t judge you or pull away. They\\u2019re loyal and would show their support of you to others even if you\\u2019re absent.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese best friends help you find light and laughter even in dark times. They sit with you and are not afraid of your grief or distress, whether it\\u2019s a breakup, loss of a job, or sickness. They show you through actions and words that you\\u2019re not alone.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>b) The completely honest friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>Ah. The brutally honest friend. These kinds\\u00a0of\\u00a0friends don\\u2019t tiptoe around anything and aren\\u2019t worried they\\u2019re going to hurt your feelings \\u2013 they always remain genuine and open and aren\\u2019t afraid to tell you the truth.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends don\\u2019t play along with social niceties and are honest with you all the time. They speak their mind, call your BS, and tell you how they feel about your life. They may sound judgemental, yet they\\u2019re often trying to support or even protect you,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The thing about completely honest friends is that they know your relationship is strong enough to sustain the truth. So, while it\\u2019s not always easy (it might even hurt a little), they\\u2019re not scared to tell you where you can improve.<\\/p><p>And honestly, they\\u2019re so important to have in your life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey will tell you whether you are being unfair to your partner or too harsh with your kids. They will tell you if you\\u2019re being treated appallingly and need to get out of your relationship or a dead-end job. Their honesty is how they show they value you.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>c) A mentor friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>Yes, friendships and mentors can co-exist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe no longer live in tribes with wise elders to tap into. We have less contact with religious figures offering advice, and we no longer believe politicians can guide us honestly without their self-interest flaunted in our face. Having friends who are mentors is critical for guiding, advising, thinking through options and opening possibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Most mentor relationships play a consistent role in your life and will help you challenge your assumptions and give you the insights, advice and support you need to thrive.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends are wise and can analyse situations and hold complexity in mind. They steer clear of black and white simplistic thinking. They\\u2019ve lived a bit, learnt lessons along the way, and are happy to share their experiences to support your journey.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>d) A \\u2018like a mum\\u2019 friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>This one \\u2013 this one\\u2019s important. The \\u2018mum\\u2019 friend is that one friend in your circle that\\u2019s responsible, caring and always protective of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is the friend who shows up at your door when they hear a wobble in your voice. They see themselves as part of the solution to the wobble and able to offer comfort. You feel safe to be vulnerable in their presence and even be held by them when you cry,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey\\u2019ll fix a meal, encourage you to eat and get you more tissues for your tears and snot. They\\u2019re reassuring about the future being better than this moment of distress or pain.\\u201d<\\/p><p>We\\u2019re not crying, you\\u2019re crying!<\\/p><p><b>e) The encouraging friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is the friend who wants you to grow and supports your development. They encourage you to expand your life experiences whether through travel, study, or career change.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Encouraging friends push us out of our comfort zones and where we need to go, making us aware that we can always do better. These kinds of friends believe in you, they know you\\u2019re capable, and they\\u2019re always ready to cheer you on from the side-line.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey\\u2019re not fearful of a little risk for a greater reward and want you to have an experience-rich life too. For example, they may encourage you to travel for a year even if it means you\\u2019re not around for them. They see your growth as separate from their own lives.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>f) The friend \\u2018I do that with\\u2019<\\/b><\\/p><p>You know the one. This is the person who\\u2019s always down to hang out. You\\u2019re bored on a Sunday arvo with nothing to do? This is who you call.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to have friends you have shared specific experiences with. This could be someone who loves exercising with you, walking dogs, going to the movies or comedy shows with. The friendship thrives as you both love and value the experience. It could be your shared thing is nightclubbing or festivals or playing cards or sharing your Wordle results with every day.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe friend \\u2018I do that with\\u2019 may also relate to the content and quality of the interaction. Some friendships thrive on having interesting philosophical\\/life discussions or talking complete s**t together. 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ner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"7 Signs You\\u2019re An Empath And What This Means, According To An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We all have those people in our life who just\\u00a0*get*\\u00a0you. You know the ones. The friends that can instantly read your feelings and know what\\u2019s going on. Then there are those people you\\u2019ve known who are a little\\u2026 disconnected from the feelings of those around them.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s because there are some people in society who are more prone to empathy than others. In fact, more so than most \\u2018normal\\u2019 people.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>According to Dr Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of\\u00a0The Empath\\u2019s Survival Guide, each of us sit at different levels of an empathy scale.<\\/p><p>Dr Orloff describes it as a spectrum, where there\\u2019s people with no empathy (narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths), regular people who have empathy,\\u00a0highly sensitive people,\\u00a0and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.<\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>And no, before you even ask \\u2013 it doesn\\u2019t mean anything is wrong with you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cResearchers have found that empaths have more active mirror neurons \\u2013 this means they can tap into the micro-changes in others,\\u201d said psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst this ability is helpful at times,\\u00a0it can be problematic for empaths as they\\u2019re overworking in the emotional domain, often soaking up too much. Sometimes they can be filled up with feelings yet have no idea where they originated,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>Here\\u2019s absolutely\\u00a0everything you need to know about empaths \\u2013 including what it means and how to tell if you are one.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an empath means a little more than just being a sensitive person or being really empathetic to others \\u2013 it\\u2019s a whole other level.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are acutely aware of other people\\u2019s emotions and can often feel these emotions within themselves,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths connect with people emotionally and can easily understand them. It\\u2019s not a mental exercise but an intuitive ability. It\\u2019s their gut instinct.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And while it\\u2019s something that can be seen as a beneficial trait, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deeply.<\\/p><p>Because not only do empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, but they often internalise the feelings and pain of others, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are emotionally porous, like a sponge absorbing other people\\u2019s emotional information. They can see where people suffer and often like to ease it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How do you know if you\\u2019re an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you the kind of\\u00a0person who always avoids cringe-y or violent TV shows? Do you have a fear you\\u2019re going to disappoint people? Tend to overthink someone else\\u2019s feelings for days on end?<\\/p><p>You might be an empath.<\\/p><p>To find out what\\u00a0kind of\\u00a0characteristics are associated with empaths, we asked Abrahams to share some of the most common signs to look out for. Below are seven of them:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. You are affected by other people\\u2019s emotions and can take them on\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cYou have an incredibly highly attuned emotional radar that\\u2019s always on and can detect slight alterations in the emotional experience of others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This could be from micro changes in facial expressions, gestures, a tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, or mood shifts, she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can feel someone else\\u2019s feelings that they themselves may have no awareness of.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to quickly reiterate that point \\u2013 you can literally feel someone else\\u2019s feelings BEFORE they feel them.<\\/p><p>Sounds\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths choose to live alone and have a haven from being swamped by other people\\u2019s emotional states. Empaths can find it difficult to live with a partner as their partner\\u2019s mood and energy will impact them,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they live with their partner or a flatmate, they will need a space that\\u2019s their own to decompress and recalibrate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. You can understand other people\\u2019s perspective easily.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, empaths possess the ability to see life through a unique perspective which has been shaped by our own experiences, as well as through conscious and unconscious messages they\\u2019ve absorbed throughout life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can see other\\u2019s perspectives and stand in their shoes. This ability is a bonus, as many people can\\u2019t move away from their own viewpoint, causing them to be harsh or judgemental of others,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Due to these qualities, empaths have high emotional intelligence. \\u201cThey can be great leaders, and also valuable team members.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey also are able to tell when someone is lying to them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0their gut will feel that something is off kilter. They\\u2019ll detect the small cues of a lie and feel the residue inside them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Note to self:\\u00a0Never try to fool an empath.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. You are receptive to the environment around you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Empaths are more attuned to their environment than the average person, meaning their\\u00a0mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment \\u2013 including light, sounds and other sources of stimulation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs an empath you will be more able to feel the energy of different physical environments. You\\u2019ll be sensitive too, as your finely attuned radar picks up information in that particular\\u00a0environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths feel completely drained by an environment that feels un-alive and uplifted by the energy in other spaces.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"db985b2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5a3808b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"25c6594\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. You\\u2019ve been a therapist to your peers since school\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c21997\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3393cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed8aada\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you\\u2019re an empath, you\\u2019ve been helping people with their emotions since school days,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou were the person your peers turned to for advice and they viewed you as wise counsel. This is because you knew how to see other perspectives and could connect with their emotional experiences.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Because empaths have the ability\\u00a0to deeply feel another person\\u2019s problems and needs, they often know how to support others and what kind of comfort or encouragement they need. Their personalities are often healing and calming in times of crisis.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cMany therapists are empaths\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they too have been training since they were young. They intuitively understand about the ego and how defensively humans react when they are startled, hurt or why certain feelings arise.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs adults, they train in this field to further understand the human mind and motivations, and then want to help people decrease their suffering and distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f0b153b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8b70a54\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a00b5e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. You can\\u2019t relax while watching TV\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9a306d6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d78bd42\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c983090\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cDo you find sitting down to watch a thriller from beginning to end too hard? Many empaths can\\u2019t watch shows with too much tension.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, empaths have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate certain TV shows, movies, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSitting with an empath watching TV is confusing for some people. They only need to hear tension music and they can be off their seat and walking away from the screen. Any violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even implied violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0can be too much to bear.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While empaths obviously understand what they\\u2019re watching is not real, Abrahams said their intense ability to connect with a character still creates enormous discomfort. They never know when the tension or suspense will increase \\u2013 so often it becomes too much to handle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir hearts will race and with their mirror neurons observing the character on the screen\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they experience the fearful sensations too. They often need to physically remove themselves to calm down. It\\u2019s just too much for their mind and body and becomes unenjoyable tension.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b5185dd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4a63f49\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f0e096\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. You may also connect with people\\u2019s physical injuries or illnesses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8f44e8c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3cf88d4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c802aef\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAre you able to feel physical sensations when you\\u2019re around someone with physical injuries or an illness? Empaths feel these sensations in areas of their body similar to the location of the other\\u00a0person\\u2019s injury or illness. This is the level of their attunement.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Empaths are able to feel physical sensations to other people\\u2019s emotional states, Abrahams said. They tap into their anxiety or sadness and then feel this as physical sensations in their system too.<\\/p><p>Pretty crazy, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese could be heart rate increases, shaking hands, a migraine, or tightness in the chest. Physical mirroring occurs, like emotional mirroring,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat\\u2019s emotional impacts our physical experience, and what\\u2019s physical affects our emotional experience. Our mind and body are joined in us as we are one organism.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"91cce1a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13b3046\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"70164de\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. You have a strong need to help ease suffering\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"77f86d4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3054b7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"45b83dc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the biggest traits of an empath is how much they care \\u2013 which can often come off as caring \\u201ctoo much\\u201d or being \\u201ctoo emotional\\u201d.<\\/p><p>Take Abrahams, for example. \\u201cI saw a young boy running in the park yesterday, crying as he was running. I had to check in. \\u201cAre you ok?\\u201d I asked him. He replied \\u201cyes\\u201d, gasping for breath. I kept questioning\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0\\u201care you sure?\\u201d To which he smiled and reassured me he was fine. I then saw his dad running a fair distance ahead, and I realised that\\u00a0the boy was probably just hating the run!\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths see themselves as a resource to ease suffering. Quite simply\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they are kind and care about people (and often animals too and cannot tolerate their suffering). They know that by connecting\\u00a0and understanding people, they can help people to heal.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"85bf2a0\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c36caae\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e135894\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to thrive as an empath\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8c0609\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74bce76\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"459051d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>So, is being an empath good or bad?<\\/p><p>In a 2014\\u00a0study, clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron developed an evolutionary theory, proposing that sensory processing sensitivity is a trait that has evolved in order to enhance the survival of the human species.<\\/p><p>The study showed that a highly sensitive brain increased awareness and responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment, benefitting the whole group.<\\/p><p>However, the study also showed the pitfalls of being highly sensitive \\u2013 where it placed greater increased cognitive and metabolic demand upon individuals.<\\/p><p>So, how do you best navigate life as a highly sensitive empath? Is it possible to decrease the impact of this stimulation on your mental health?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, the biggest tip is learning how to set clear boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout boundaries that protect the empath, they will find themselves overwhelmed and run ragged,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>These boundaries include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cf87d13\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13e1377\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c825649\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Protecting your time\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a50854c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b9b3638\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e70a35f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, be cautious who you surround yourself with. \\u201cEmpaths need to consider how much time they spend helping others with their emotional states,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs they see themselves as a resource, they often go the extra mile to help people understand their struggles and to ease their distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7351f1e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6e780b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a3d9ce0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Protecting your energy levels\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2eaa995\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"068c75f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ba27732\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It\\u2019s also really important to know when to carve out time for yourself in order to decrease the excess energy and stimulation you\\u2019re getting from others and the surrounding environment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout protecting their energy levels, empaths can become immersed in the overwhelmed and emotional lives of others, which may leave the empath feeling depleted and exhausted.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"032d329\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ebd5e10\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"eaf12a0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Looking after self-care routines and rituals\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8a6fe2d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0176c74\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5c6ceb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cWhen empaths absorb the emotional information from others, they may expose themselves to hardcore emotional states. This may happen often\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0at work, with colleagues, with friends, with family,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSuch levels of emotional exposure can be experienced as stress in the empath\\u2019s mental and physical system. For this reason, empaths need to take care that their system can actually manage repeated exposures without being compromised.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"56eca57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163e5d3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"42ba220\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Understanding what\\u2019s your stuff and what isn\\u2019t\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"aa37d01\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed4550c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dd2cc13\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a tricky one, and it can end up being really detrimental to your mental health if you can\\u2019t work out what\\u2019s yours to care about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cJust because empaths can absorb emotional information doesn\\u2019t mean they always know where the emotional experience originated,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSometimes the information will hit up on their own emotional stuff. Therapy is a great way for empaths to learn to distinguish what\\u2019s their own stuff and what\\u2019s someone else\\u2019s.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"97586f5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"baeac1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8ea7d94\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Don\\u2019t provide solutions constantly\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9a508f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9e20cf8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"51d2a24\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important rule? Don\\u2019t feel like\\u00a0you have to \\u2018fix\\u2019 everything. Set some clear boundaries and know when you should remove yourself from a conversation.<\\/p><p>Often empaths will take on other people\\u2019s energy so as not to offend them (read: the person at the party who mentally unloads everything on you) \\u2013 which only leaves you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important that empaths don\\u2019t provide all the solutions\\u00a0for other people\\u2019s struggles. They should point them in the direction of help so that they can grow and have the opportunity to\\u00a0join the dots of their own experience,\\u201d suggests Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis facilitates a developmental journey without the empath needing to fully immerse themselves in their development.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f6cc322\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e20cf0d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4bebb8b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Speak out about poor behaviour towards you.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"39963c1\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e121a86\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5746731\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Lastly, Abrahams urges empaths to learn how to speak up. Just because you have the ability to understand other people\\u2019s motivations and behaviour, doesn\\u2019t mean you should use this as a way of excusing their behaviour.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to understand people, however the empath needs to ensure they call out crappy behaviour towards them and don\\u2019t suffer for their understanding.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to hear more advice from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p>Are you an empath? Do you relate to any of these characteristics?<\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (1185179290)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16520,5063,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16521,5063,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16522,5063,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16523,5063,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16524,5063,'_thumbnail_id','5006'),(16525,5063,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16526,5063,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16527,5063,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16528,5063,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16529,5063,'_edit_lock','1665973023:3'),(16530,5063,'_edit_last','3'),(16531,5063,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16532,5063,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16534,5063,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16567,5064,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16568,5064,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16569,5064,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16570,5064,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16571,5064,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-166,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"5 Questions Everyone Should Be Able to Answer About Their Partner, According to An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, what are your deal-breakers?<\\/p><p>It might be feeling certain where you want to live, hobbies you want to pursue, career goals you need to support meeting, or the kind of\\u00a0family you want to have.<\\/p><p>Now, what about your partner? What are their non-negotiables?<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s totally normal to disagree on certain things (read: sailing around the world with seven children), having an open and honest conversation with your partner about each other\\u2019s needs and wants in life is crucial in order to make a relationship work.<\\/p><p>And sometimes having an unconformable conversation now \\u2013 everything from\\u00a0what gets your partner in the mood\\u00a0to\\u00a0how many kids they want\\u00a0\\u2013 can save you\\u00a0a whole lotta\\u00a0heartache in the end.<\\/p><p>So, we sat down with relationship therapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her to share some of the most important things you should know about your partner.<\\/p><p>In no particular order \\u2013 and the order will be determined by the age and stage of the couple \\u2013 Abrahams said there are five key things you should be able to answer about your romantic partner.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. How do they deal with stress, sadness, fear, or pain?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most crucial things you should know about your partner is how they deal with painful and upsetting life experiences.<\\/p><p>Establishing how your partner copes with difficult emotions \\u2013 because everyone is different \\u2013 will help you better understand how you\\u2019re able to help each other when stressful things arise.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have differing capacities for how we tolerate upsetting experiences or physical pain. In general, our ability to tolerate these states stems from whether our parents soothed us in childhood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis soothing, across many aspects in childhood, becomes internalised and forms the basis of learning to tolerate distress as adults. We take this ability to cope into\\u00a0[our] relationship with our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on\\u00a0to say that people who can tolerate these feelings are often able to manage unsettling experiences better and understand that difficulties come and go.<\\/p><p>While they can still become upset, distressed, or feel pain, she said they tend to be able to work things out themselves, or talk to their partner, or seek wise counsel from someone in their community or a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe important thing is that they are not fearful of thinking about these emotional states. They want to understand them so they can recover,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>The other side of it? Those who struggle with difficult emotions.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe big difference for those who can\\u2019t deal with these feelings or pain is that they need to do something in the external world to make the feelings go away.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese solutions are a way of trying to cope with the pain, but they never actually resolve it. Often, they just make things worse.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, you\\u2019re going to want to know if your partner can sit with difficult feelings or not. If not, what do they do?<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they instantly blame you? Block or push back your ideas? Do they become sulky or whiny? Do they isolate themselves from you or become punishing?,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they turn to drugs or alcohol to ease emotional or physical pain? Do they use porn, gamble, or shop excessively to avoid feelings? What about emotional eating or highly rigid restrictions on food?\\u201d<\\/p><p>This is a really important one to be able to\\u00a0answer, as it can\\u00a0harm a relationship when we can\\u2019t manage difficult states inside of ourselves.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. How do they like and not like to be touched physically or sexually?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Partners can have very different views on intimacy \\u2013 like how often sex should happen, and their expectations and fantasies around sexual activity, including touch.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner in a relationship likes to be touched differently. At the beginning of our relationship, we often care a great deal about whether our partner enjoys our touch,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship when things were new and exciting. Over time, we might not care quite\\u00a0as much about what our partner likes and doesn\\u2019t like \\u2013 which is a bit sh**ty.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep caring because this journey is an ever-changing field,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cOur partner will change across the relationship. We need to understand how they like to be touched physically and sexually at different ages and stages.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Do they want children or not?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This one? This is important. While you might be fooled into thinking most couples will suss this out early on\\u00a0in a relationship, sometimes it doesn\\u2019t happen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner has their own thoughts about whether they want to be a parent of not. Don\\u2019t make any assumptions that your partner\\u2019s viewpoint. Make sure you ask the question: Do you want children? Yes\\/No,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they say no, don\\u2019t think you will change their mind later. They might, yet more often they won\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve seen many relationships destroyed by this assumption.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you both want children, how many do you both want? There will be problems if your partner wants many more children than you, or vice versa.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Not only is it important to know whether or not you both want children, but you also should also have a broader idea of what happens if it isn\\u2019t possible.<\\/p><p>Struggling to have children can take its toll on any relationship, so you don\\u2019t also want to realise that your partner isn\\u2019t on board with other avenues you\\u2019d be open to, like IVF or adoption. While opinions may change over time, it\\u2019s still important to discuss it early so you know where each of you stand.<\\/p><p>Both want to have children? Cool! The next thing you should know is how your partner would want to raise them \\u2013 because this is just as important.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou also need to see where your partner sits in their assumptions about how raising children works,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWho will potentially pause their career to be the primary carer? You will need to see how well you can navigate these conversations together. The stakes are much higher having these conversations when the child has already entered the world.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. How does your partner relate to money?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner and money. What does that look like?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have a relationship to money,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cThis relationship plays itself out based on the stories in our head about money. Is money the root of all evil or does it make the world go round? Our stories can be contradictory, incoherent, and both conscious and unconscious.\\u201d<\\/p><p>You\\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but one thing most experts will agree on is that the greatest thing couples fight over is money. For this reason, Abrahams said it\\u2019s really important to understand your partner so that you can protect your relationship from being spoiled by money issues.<\\/p><p>And there are a lot of different questions you should ask yourself about this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDoes your partner fear not having enough money? Or fear losing money? Or continue to feel shame around being a child who didn\\u2019t have enough money? Do they comment on your spending too much? Do they throw money around and squander it? Or do they restrict your freedom due to a lack of money? Or do they use money to try to\\u00a0control you?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMoney issues can be fraught in relationships. Try to understand how your partner relates to money and the stories they use to describe their relationship with it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Importantly, she also suggests speaking to your partner about their feelings around debt, mortgages, savings, spending, and separate or shared bank accounts.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEnsure you work with them to understand their relationship to money.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Do they have any unfulfilled dreams that they haven\\u2019t shared with you?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Everyone has dreams and desires \\u2013 and they can look totally different for each of us.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome partners have a secret desire for the road they haven\\u2019t taken. It\\u2019s normal to some degree\\u00a0as we always say no to one path when we go down another,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFind out whether there are paths that can be made room for so your partner can have as rich and fulfilling a life as possible. For example, one partner may be desperate to have a stint living overseas.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf this is possible to work into your lives, then see if it can get off the ground. Some of these may be less possible\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0like one partner joining the air force\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0but you can attend air force shows together or watch documentaries or movies together with such themes.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Knowing what these are will give you a good idea of your future together and what works for both of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to ask your partner how important these dreams are to them, and also whether you, as their partner, could help the dreams become a reality.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And there you have it! Some of the most important questions you should be able to answer about your partner.<\\/p><p>How did you go? Did you nail it? Knew you would. You and Jaryd are great together.<\\/p><p><em>For more from Lissy Abrahams, read her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships, a unit of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy\\u00a0founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"5 Questions Everyone Should Be Able to Answer About Their Partner, According to An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, what are your deal-breakers?<\\/p><p>It might be feeling certain where you want to live, hobbies you want to pursue, career goals you need to support meeting, or the kind of\\u00a0family you want to have.<\\/p><p>Now, what about your partner? What are their non-negotiables?<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s totally normal to disagree on certain things (read: sailing around the world with seven children), having an open and honest conversation with your partner about each other\\u2019s needs and wants in life is crucial in order to make a relationship work.<\\/p><p>And sometimes having an unconformable conversation now \\u2013 everything from\\u00a0what gets your partner in the mood\\u00a0to\\u00a0how many kids they want\\u00a0\\u2013 can save you\\u00a0a whole lotta\\u00a0heartache in the end.<\\/p><p>So, we sat down with relationship therapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her to share some of the most important things you should know about your partner.<\\/p><p>In no particular order \\u2013 and the order will be determined by the age and stage of the couple \\u2013 Abrahams said there are five key things you should be able to answer about your romantic partner.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. How do they deal with stress, sadness, fear, or pain?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most crucial things you should know about your partner is how they deal with painful and upsetting life experiences.<\\/p><p>Establishing how your partner copes with difficult emotions \\u2013 because everyone is different \\u2013 will help you better understand how you\\u2019re able to help each other when stressful things arise.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have differing capacities for how we tolerate upsetting experiences or physical pain. In general, our ability to tolerate these states stems from whether our parents soothed us in childhood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis soothing, across many aspects in childhood, becomes internalised and forms the basis of learning to tolerate distress as adults. We take this ability to cope into\\u00a0[our] relationship with our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on\\u00a0to say that people who can tolerate these feelings are often able to manage unsettling experiences better and understand that difficulties come and go.<\\/p><p>While they can still become upset, distressed, or feel pain, she said they tend to be able to work things out themselves, or talk to their partner, or seek wise counsel from someone in their community or a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe important thing is that they are not fearful of thinking about these emotional states. They want to understand them so they can recover,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>The other side of it? Those who struggle with difficult emotions.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe big difference for those who can\\u2019t deal with these feelings or pain is that they need to do something in the external world to make the feelings go away.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese solutions are a way of trying to cope with the pain, but they never actually resolve it. Often, they just make things worse.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, you\\u2019re going to want to know if your partner can sit with difficult feelings or not. If not, what do they do?<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they instantly blame you? Block or push back your ideas? Do they become sulky or whiny? Do they isolate themselves from you or become punishing?,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they turn to drugs or alcohol to ease emotional or physical pain? Do they use porn, gamble, or shop excessively to avoid feelings? What about emotional eating or highly rigid restrictions on food?\\u201d<\\/p><p>This is a really important one to be able to\\u00a0answer, as it can\\u00a0harm a relationship when we can\\u2019t manage difficult states inside of ourselves.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. How do they like and not like to be touched physically or sexually?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Partners can have very different views on intimacy \\u2013 like how often sex should happen, and their expectations and fantasies around sexual activity, including touch.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner in a relationship likes to be touched differently. At the beginning of our relationship, we often care a great deal about whether our partner enjoys our touch,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship when things were new and exciting. Over time, we might not care quite\\u00a0as much about what our partner likes and doesn\\u2019t like \\u2013 which is a bit sh**ty.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep caring because this journey is an ever-changing field,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cOur partner will change across the relationship. We need to understand how they like to be touched physically and sexually at different ages and stages.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Do they want children or not?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This one? This is important. While you might be fooled into thinking most couples will suss this out early on\\u00a0in a relationship, sometimes it doesn\\u2019t happen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner has their own thoughts about whether they want to be a parent of not. Don\\u2019t make any assumptions that your partner\\u2019s viewpoint. Make sure you ask the question: Do you want children? Yes\\/No,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they say no, don\\u2019t think you will change their mind later. They might, yet more often they won\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve seen many relationships destroyed by this assumption.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you both want children, how many do you both want? There will be problems if your partner wants many more children than you, or vice versa.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Not only is it important to know whether or not you both want children, but you also should also have a broader idea of what happens if it isn\\u2019t possible.<\\/p><p>Struggling to have children can take its toll on any relationship, so you don\\u2019t also want to realise that your partner isn\\u2019t on board with other avenues you\\u2019d be open to, like IVF or adoption. While opinions may change over time, it\\u2019s still important to discuss it early so you know where each of you stand.<\\/p><p>Both want to have children? Cool! The next thing you should know is how your partner would want to raise them \\u2013 because this is just as important.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou also need to see where your partner sits in their assumptions about how raising children works,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWho will potentially pause their career to be the primary carer? You will need to see how well you can navigate these conversations together. The stakes are much higher having these conversations when the child has already entered the world.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. How does your partner relate to money?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner and money. What does that look like?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have a relationship to money,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cThis relationship plays itself out based on the stories in our head about money. Is money the root of all evil or does it make the world go round? Our stories can be contradictory, incoherent, and both conscious and unconscious.\\u201d<\\/p><p>You\\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but one thing most experts will agree on is that the greatest thing couples fight over is money. For this reason, Abrahams said it\\u2019s really important to understand your partner so that you can protect your relationship from being spoiled by money issues.<\\/p><p>And there are a lot of different questions you should ask yourself about this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDoes your partner fear not having enough money? Or fear losing money? Or continue to feel shame around being a child who didn\\u2019t have enough money? Do they comment on your spending too much? Do they throw money around and squander it? Or do they restrict your freedom due to a lack of money? Or do they use money to try to\\u00a0control you?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMoney issues can be fraught in relationships. Try to understand how your partner relates to money and the stories they use to describe their relationship with it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Importantly, she also suggests speaking to your partner about their feelings around debt, mortgages, savings, spending, and separate or shared bank accounts.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEnsure you work with them to understand their relationship to money.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Do they have any unfulfilled dreams that they haven\\u2019t shared with you?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Everyone has dreams and desires \\u2013 and they can look totally different for each of us.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome partners have a secret desire for the road they haven\\u2019t taken. It\\u2019s normal to some degree\\u00a0as we always say no to one path when we go down another,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFind out whether there are paths that can be made room for so your partner can have as rich and fulfilling a life as possible. For example, one partner may be desperate to have a stint living overseas.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf this is possible to work into your lives, then see if it can get off the ground. Some of these may be less possible\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0like one partner joining the air force\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0but you can attend air force shows together or watch documentaries or movies together with such themes.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Knowing what these are will give you a good idea of your future together and what works for both of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to ask your partner how important these dreams are to them, and also whether you, as their partner, could help the dreams become a reality.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And there you have it! Some of the most important questions you should be able to answer about your partner.<\\/p><p>How did you go? Did you nail it? Knew you would. You and Jaryd are great together.<\\/p><p><em>For more from Lissy Abrahams, read her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships, a unit of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy\\u00a0founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"5 Questions Everyone Should Be Able to Answer About Their Partner, According to An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, what are your deal-breakers?<\\/p><p>It might be feeling certain where you want to live, hobbies you want to pursue, career goals you need to support meeting, or the kind of\\u00a0family you want to have.<\\/p><p>Now, what about your partner? What are their non-negotiables?<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s totally normal to disagree on certain things (read: sailing around the world with seven children), having an open and honest conversation with your partner about each other\\u2019s needs and wants in life is crucial in order to make a relationship work.<\\/p><p>And sometimes having an unconformable conversation now \\u2013 everything from\\u00a0what gets your partner in the mood\\u00a0to\\u00a0how many kids they want\\u00a0\\u2013 can save you\\u00a0a whole lotta\\u00a0heartache in the end.<\\/p><p>So, we sat down with relationship therapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her to share some of the most important things you should know about your partner.<\\/p><p>In no particular order \\u2013 and the order will be determined by the age and stage of the couple \\u2013 Abrahams said there are five key things you should be able to answer about your romantic partner.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. How do they deal with stress, sadness, fear, or pain?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most crucial things you should know about your partner is how they deal with painful and upsetting life experiences.<\\/p><p>Establishing how your partner copes with difficult emotions \\u2013 because everyone is different \\u2013 will help you better understand how you\\u2019re able to help each other when stressful things arise.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have differing capacities for how we tolerate upsetting experiences or physical pain. In general, our ability to tolerate these states stems from whether our parents soothed us in childhood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis soothing, across many aspects in childhood, becomes internalised and forms the basis of learning to tolerate distress as adults. We take this ability to cope into\\u00a0[our] relationship with our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on\\u00a0to say that people who can tolerate these feelings are often able to manage unsettling experiences better and understand that difficulties come and go.<\\/p><p>While they can still become upset, distressed, or feel pain, she said they tend to be able to work things out themselves, or talk to their partner, or seek wise counsel from someone in their community or a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe important thing is that they are not fearful of thinking about these emotional states. They want to understand them so they can recover,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>The other side of it? Those who struggle with difficult emotions.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe big difference for those who can\\u2019t deal with these feelings or pain is that they need to do something in the external world to make the feelings go away.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese solutions are a way of trying to cope with the pain, but they never actually resolve it. Often, they just make things worse.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, you\\u2019re going to want to know if your partner can sit with difficult feelings or not. If not, what do they do?<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they instantly blame you? Block or push back your ideas? Do they become sulky or whiny? Do they isolate themselves from you or become punishing?,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they turn to drugs or alcohol to ease emotional or physical pain? Do they use porn, gamble, or shop excessively to avoid feelings? What about emotional eating or highly rigid restrictions on food?\\u201d<\\/p><p>This is a really important one to be able to\\u00a0answer, as it can\\u00a0harm a relationship when we can\\u2019t manage difficult states inside of ourselves.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. How do they like and not like to be touched physically or sexually?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Partners can have very different views on intimacy \\u2013 like how often sex should happen, and their expectations and fantasies around sexual activity, including touch.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner in a relationship likes to be touched differently. At the beginning of our relationship, we often care a great deal about whether our partner enjoys our touch,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship when things were new and exciting. Over time, we might not care quite\\u00a0as much about what our partner likes and doesn\\u2019t like \\u2013 which is a bit sh**ty.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep caring because this journey is an ever-changing field,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cOur partner will change across the relationship. We need to understand how they like to be touched physically and sexually at different ages and stages.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Do they want children or not?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This one? This is important. While you might be fooled into thinking most couples will suss this out early on\\u00a0in a relationship, sometimes it doesn\\u2019t happen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner has their own thoughts about whether they want to be a parent of not. Don\\u2019t make any assumptions that your partner\\u2019s viewpoint. Make sure you ask the question: Do you want children? Yes\\/No,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they say no, don\\u2019t think you will change their mind later. They might, yet more often they won\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve seen many relationships destroyed by this assumption.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you both want children, how many do you both want? There will be problems if your partner wants many more children than you, or vice versa.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Not only is it important to know whether or not you both want children, but you also should also have a broader idea of what happens if it isn\\u2019t possible.<\\/p><p>Struggling to have children can take its toll on any relationship, so you don\\u2019t also want to realise that your partner isn\\u2019t on board with other avenues you\\u2019d be open to, like IVF or adoption. While opinions may change over time, it\\u2019s still important to discuss it early so you know where each of you stand.<\\/p><p>Both want to have children? Cool! The next thing you should know is how your partner would want to raise them \\u2013 because this is just as important.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou also need to see where your partner sits in their assumptions about how raising children works,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWho will potentially pause their career to be the primary carer? You will need to see how well you can navigate these conversations together. The stakes are much higher having these conversations when the child has already entered the world.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. How does your partner relate to money?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner and money. What does that look like?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have a relationship to money,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cThis relationship plays itself out based on the stories in our head about money. Is money the root of all evil or does it make the world go round? Our stories can be contradictory, incoherent, and both conscious and unconscious.\\u201d<\\/p><p>You\\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but one thing most experts will agree on is that the greatest thing couples fight over is money. For this reason, Abrahams said it\\u2019s really important to understand your partner so that you can protect your relationship from being spoiled by money issues.<\\/p><p>And there are a lot of different questions you should ask yourself about this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDoes your partner fear not having enough money? Or fear losing money? Or continue to feel shame around being a child who didn\\u2019t have enough money? Do they comment on your spending too much? Do they throw money around and squander it? Or do they restrict your freedom due to a lack of money? Or do they use money to try to\\u00a0control you?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMoney issues can be fraught in relationships. Try to understand how your partner relates to money and the stories they use to describe their relationship with it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Importantly, she also suggests speaking to your partner about their feelings around debt, mortgages, savings, spending, and separate or shared bank accounts.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEnsure you work with them to understand their relationship to money.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Do they have any unfulfilled dreams that they haven\\u2019t shared with you?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Everyone has dreams and desires \\u2013 and they can look totally different for each of us.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome partners have a secret desire for the road they haven\\u2019t taken. It\\u2019s normal to some degree\\u00a0as we always say no to one path when we go down another,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFind out whether there are paths that can be made room for so your partner can have as rich and fulfilling a life as possible. For example, one partner may be desperate to have a stint living overseas.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf this is possible to work into your lives, then see if it can get off the ground. Some of these may be less possible\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0like one partner joining the air force\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0but you can attend air force shows together or watch documentaries or movies together with such themes.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Knowing what these are will give you a good idea of your future together and what works for both of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to ask your partner how important these dreams are to them, and also whether you, as their partner, could help the dreams become a reality.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And there you have it! Some of the most important questions you should be able to answer about your partner.<\\/p><p>How did you go? Did you nail it? Knew you would. You and Jaryd are great together.<\\/p><p><em>For more from Lissy Abrahams, read her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships, a unit of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy\\u00a0founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"7 Signs You\\u2019re An Empath And What This Means, According To An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We all have those people in our life who just\\u00a0*get*\\u00a0you. You know the ones. The friends that can instantly read your feelings and know what\\u2019s going on. Then there are those people you\\u2019ve known who are a little\\u2026 disconnected from the feelings of those around them.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s because there are some people in society who are more prone to empathy than others. In fact, more so than most \\u2018normal\\u2019 people.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>According to Dr Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of\\u00a0The Empath\\u2019s Survival Guide, each of us sit at different levels of an empathy scale.<\\/p><p>Dr Orloff describes it as a spectrum, where there\\u2019s people with no empathy (narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths), regular people who have empathy,\\u00a0highly sensitive people,\\u00a0and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.<\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>And no, before you even ask \\u2013 it doesn\\u2019t mean anything is wrong with you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cResearchers have found that empaths have more active mirror neurons \\u2013 this means they can tap into the micro-changes in others,\\u201d said psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst this ability is helpful at times,\\u00a0it can be problematic for empaths as they\\u2019re overworking in the emotional domain, often soaking up too much. Sometimes they can be filled up with feelings yet have no idea where they originated,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>Here\\u2019s absolutely\\u00a0everything you need to know about empaths \\u2013 including what it means and how to tell if you are one.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an empath means a little more than just being a sensitive person or being really empathetic to others \\u2013 it\\u2019s a whole other level.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are acutely aware of other people\\u2019s emotions and can often feel these emotions within themselves,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths connect with people emotionally and can easily understand them. It\\u2019s not a mental exercise but an intuitive ability. It\\u2019s their gut instinct.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And while it\\u2019s something that can be seen as a beneficial trait, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deeply.<\\/p><p>Because not only do empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, but they often internalise the feelings and pain of others, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are emotionally porous, like a sponge absorbing other people\\u2019s emotional information. They can see where people suffer and often like to ease it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How do you know if you\\u2019re an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you the kind of\\u00a0person who always avoids cringe-y or violent TV shows? Do you have a fear you\\u2019re going to disappoint people? Tend to overthink someone else\\u2019s feelings for days on end?<\\/p><p>You might be an empath.<\\/p><p>To find out what\\u00a0kind of\\u00a0characteristics are associated with empaths, we asked Abrahams to share some of the most common signs to look out for. Below are seven of them:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. You are affected by other people\\u2019s emotions and can take them on\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cYou have an incredibly highly attuned emotional radar that\\u2019s always on and can detect slight alterations in the emotional experience of others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This could be from micro changes in facial expressions, gestures, a tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, or mood shifts, she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can feel someone else\\u2019s feelings that they themselves may have no awareness of.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to quickly reiterate that point \\u2013 you can literally feel someone else\\u2019s feelings BEFORE they feel them.<\\/p><p>Sounds\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths choose to live alone and have a haven from being swamped by other people\\u2019s emotional states. Empaths can find it difficult to live with a partner as their partner\\u2019s mood and energy will impact them,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they live with their partner or a flatmate, they will need a space that\\u2019s their own to decompress and recalibrate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. You can understand other people\\u2019s perspective easily.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, empaths possess the ability to see life through a unique perspective which has been shaped by our own experiences, as well as through conscious and unconscious messages they\\u2019ve absorbed throughout life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can see other\\u2019s perspectives and stand in their shoes. This ability is a bonus, as many people can\\u2019t move away from their own viewpoint, causing them to be harsh or judgemental of others,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Due to these qualities, empaths have high emotional intelligence. \\u201cThey can be great leaders, and also valuable team members.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey also are able to tell when someone is lying to them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0their gut will feel that something is off kilter. They\\u2019ll detect the small cues of a lie and feel the residue inside them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Note to self:\\u00a0Never try to fool an empath.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. You are receptive to the environment around you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Empaths are more attuned to their environment than the average person, meaning their\\u00a0mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment \\u2013 including light, sounds and other sources of stimulation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs an empath you will be more able to feel the energy of different physical environments. You\\u2019ll be sensitive too, as your finely attuned radar picks up information in that particular\\u00a0environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths feel completely drained by an environment that feels un-alive and uplifted by the energy in other spaces.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"db985b2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5a3808b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"25c6594\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. You\\u2019ve been a therapist to your peers since school\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c21997\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3393cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed8aada\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you\\u2019re an empath, you\\u2019ve been helping people with their emotions since school days,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou were the person your peers turned to for advice and they viewed you as wise counsel. This is because you knew how to see other perspectives and could connect with their emotional experiences.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Because empaths have the ability\\u00a0to deeply feel another person\\u2019s problems and needs, they often know how to support others and what kind of comfort or encouragement they need. Their personalities are often healing and calming in times of crisis.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cMany therapists are empaths\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they too have been training since they were young. They intuitively understand about the ego and how defensively humans react when they are startled, hurt or why certain feelings arise.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs adults, they train in this field to further understand the human mind and motivations, and then want to help people decrease their suffering and distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f0b153b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8b70a54\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a00b5e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. You can\\u2019t relax while watching TV\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9a306d6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d78bd42\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c983090\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cDo you find sitting down to watch a thriller from beginning to end too hard? Many empaths can\\u2019t watch shows with too much tension.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, empaths have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate certain TV shows, movies, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSitting with an empath watching TV is confusing for some people. They only need to hear tension music and they can be off their seat and walking away from the screen. Any violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even implied violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0can be too much to bear.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While empaths obviously understand what they\\u2019re watching is not real, Abrahams said their intense ability to connect with a character still creates enormous discomfort. They never know when the tension or suspense will increase \\u2013 so often it becomes too much to handle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir hearts will race and with their mirror neurons observing the character on the screen\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they experience the fearful sensations too. They often need to physically remove themselves to calm down. It\\u2019s just too much for their mind and body and becomes unenjoyable tension.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b5185dd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4a63f49\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f0e096\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. You may also connect with people\\u2019s physical injuries or illnesses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8f44e8c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3cf88d4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c802aef\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAre you able to feel physical sensations when you\\u2019re around someone with physical injuries or an illness? Empaths feel these sensations in areas of their body similar to the location of the other\\u00a0person\\u2019s injury or illness. This is the level of their attunement.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Empaths are able to feel physical sensations to other people\\u2019s emotional states, Abrahams said. They tap into their anxiety or sadness and then feel this as physical sensations in their system too.<\\/p><p>Pretty crazy, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese could be heart rate increases, shaking hands, a migraine, or tightness in the chest. Physical mirroring occurs, like emotional mirroring,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat\\u2019s emotional impacts our physical experience, and what\\u2019s physical affects our emotional experience. Our mind and body are joined in us as we are one organism.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"91cce1a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13b3046\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"70164de\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. You have a strong need to help ease suffering\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"77f86d4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3054b7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"45b83dc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the biggest traits of an empath is how much they care \\u2013 which can often come off as caring \\u201ctoo much\\u201d or being \\u201ctoo emotional\\u201d.<\\/p><p>Take Abrahams, for example. \\u201cI saw a young boy running in the park yesterday, crying as he was running. I had to check in. \\u201cAre you ok?\\u201d I asked him. He replied \\u201cyes\\u201d, gasping for breath. I kept questioning\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0\\u201care you sure?\\u201d To which he smiled and reassured me he was fine. I then saw his dad running a fair distance ahead, and I realised that\\u00a0the boy was probably just hating the run!\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths see themselves as a resource to ease suffering. Quite simply\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they are kind and care about people (and often animals too and cannot tolerate their suffering). They know that by connecting\\u00a0and understanding people, they can help people to heal.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"85bf2a0\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c36caae\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e135894\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to thrive as an empath\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8c0609\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74bce76\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"459051d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>So, is being an empath good or bad?<\\/p><p>In a 2014\\u00a0study, clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron developed an evolutionary theory, proposing that sensory processing sensitivity is a trait that has evolved in order to enhance the survival of the human species.<\\/p><p>The study showed that a highly sensitive brain increased awareness and responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment, benefitting the whole group.<\\/p><p>However, the study also showed the pitfalls of being highly sensitive \\u2013 where it placed greater increased cognitive and metabolic demand upon individuals.<\\/p><p>So, how do you best navigate life as a highly sensitive empath? Is it possible to decrease the impact of this stimulation on your mental health?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, the biggest tip is learning how to set clear boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout boundaries that protect the empath, they will find themselves overwhelmed and run ragged,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>These boundaries include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cf87d13\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13e1377\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c825649\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Protecting your time\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a50854c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b9b3638\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e70a35f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, be cautious who you surround yourself with. \\u201cEmpaths need to consider how much time they spend helping others with their emotional states,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs they see themselves as a resource, they often go the extra mile to help people understand their struggles and to ease their distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7351f1e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6e780b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a3d9ce0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Protecting your energy levels\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2eaa995\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"068c75f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ba27732\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It\\u2019s also really important to know when to carve out time for yourself in order to decrease the excess energy and stimulation you\\u2019re getting from others and the surrounding environment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout protecting their energy levels, empaths can become immersed in the overwhelmed and emotional lives of others, which may leave the empath feeling depleted and exhausted.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"032d329\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ebd5e10\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"eaf12a0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Looking after self-care routines and rituals\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8a6fe2d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0176c74\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5c6ceb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cWhen empaths absorb the emotional information from others, they may expose themselves to hardcore emotional states. This may happen often\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0at work, with colleagues, with friends, with family,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSuch levels of emotional exposure can be experienced as stress in the empath\\u2019s mental and physical system. For this reason, empaths need to take care that their system can actually manage repeated exposures without being compromised.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"56eca57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163e5d3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"42ba220\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Understanding what\\u2019s your stuff and what isn\\u2019t\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"aa37d01\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed4550c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dd2cc13\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a tricky one, and it can end up being really detrimental to your mental health if you can\\u2019t work out what\\u2019s yours to care about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cJust because empaths can absorb emotional information doesn\\u2019t mean they always know where the emotional experience originated,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSometimes the information will hit up on their own emotional stuff. Therapy is a great way for empaths to learn to distinguish what\\u2019s their own stuff and what\\u2019s someone else\\u2019s.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"97586f5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"baeac1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8ea7d94\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Don\\u2019t provide solutions constantly\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9a508f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9e20cf8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"51d2a24\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important rule? Don\\u2019t feel like\\u00a0you have to \\u2018fix\\u2019 everything. Set some clear boundaries and know when you should remove yourself from a conversation.<\\/p><p>Often empaths will take on other people\\u2019s energy so as not to offend them (read: the person at the party who mentally unloads everything on you) \\u2013 which only leaves you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important that empaths don\\u2019t provide all the solutions\\u00a0for other people\\u2019s struggles. They should point them in the direction of help so that they can grow and have the opportunity to\\u00a0join the dots of their own experience,\\u201d suggests Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis facilitates a developmental journey without the empath needing to fully immerse themselves in their development.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f6cc322\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e20cf0d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4bebb8b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Speak out about poor behaviour towards you.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"39963c1\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e121a86\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5746731\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Lastly, Abrahams urges empaths to learn how to speak up. Just because you have the ability to understand other people\\u2019s motivations and behaviour, doesn\\u2019t mean you should use this as a way of excusing their behaviour.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to understand people, however the empath needs to ensure they call out crappy behaviour towards them and don\\u2019t suffer for their understanding.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to hear more advice from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p>Are you an empath? 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source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"7 Signs You\\u2019re An Empath And What This Means, According To An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We all have those people in our life who just\\u00a0*get*\\u00a0you. You know the ones. The friends that can instantly read your feelings and know what\\u2019s going on. Then there are those people you\\u2019ve known who are a little\\u2026 disconnected from the feelings of those around them.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s because there are some people in society who are more prone to empathy than others. In fact, more so than most \\u2018normal\\u2019 people.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>According to Dr Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of\\u00a0The Empath\\u2019s Survival Guide, each of us sit at different levels of an empathy scale.<\\/p><p>Dr Orloff describes it as a spectrum, where there\\u2019s people with no empathy (narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths), regular people who have empathy,\\u00a0highly sensitive people,\\u00a0and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.<\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>And no, before you even ask \\u2013 it doesn\\u2019t mean anything is wrong with you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cResearchers have found that empaths have more active mirror neurons \\u2013 this means they can tap into the micro-changes in others,\\u201d said psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst this ability is helpful at times,\\u00a0it can be problematic for empaths as they\\u2019re overworking in the emotional domain, often soaking up too much. Sometimes they can be filled up with feelings yet have no idea where they originated,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>Here\\u2019s absolutely\\u00a0everything you need to know about empaths \\u2013 including what it means and how to tell if you are one.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an empath means a little more than just being a sensitive person or being really empathetic to others \\u2013 it\\u2019s a whole other level.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are acutely aware of other people\\u2019s emotions and can often feel these emotions within themselves,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths connect with people emotionally and can easily understand them. It\\u2019s not a mental exercise but an intuitive ability. It\\u2019s their gut instinct.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And while it\\u2019s something that can be seen as a beneficial trait, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deeply.<\\/p><p>Because not only do empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, but they often internalise the feelings and pain of others, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are emotionally porous, like a sponge absorbing other people\\u2019s emotional information. They can see where people suffer and often like to ease it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How do you know if you\\u2019re an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you the kind of\\u00a0person who always avoids cringe-y or violent TV shows? Do you have a fear you\\u2019re going to disappoint people? Tend to overthink someone else\\u2019s feelings for days on end?<\\/p><p>You might be an empath.<\\/p><p>To find out what\\u00a0kind of\\u00a0characteristics are associated with empaths, we asked Abrahams to share some of the most common signs to look out for. Below are seven of them:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. You are affected by other people\\u2019s emotions and can take them on\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cYou have an incredibly highly attuned emotional radar that\\u2019s always on and can detect slight alterations in the emotional experience of others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This could be from micro changes in facial expressions, gestures, a tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, or mood shifts, she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can feel someone else\\u2019s feelings that they themselves may have no awareness of.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to quickly reiterate that point \\u2013 you can literally feel someone else\\u2019s feelings BEFORE they feel them.<\\/p><p>Sounds\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths choose to live alone and have a haven from being swamped by other people\\u2019s emotional states. Empaths can find it difficult to live with a partner as their partner\\u2019s mood and energy will impact them,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they live with their partner or a flatmate, they will need a space that\\u2019s their own to decompress and recalibrate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. You can understand other people\\u2019s perspective easily.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, empaths possess the ability to see life through a unique perspective which has been shaped by our own experiences, as well as through conscious and unconscious messages they\\u2019ve absorbed throughout life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can see other\\u2019s perspectives and stand in their shoes. This ability is a bonus, as many people can\\u2019t move away from their own viewpoint, causing them to be harsh or judgemental of others,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Due to these qualities, empaths have high emotional intelligence. \\u201cThey can be great leaders, and also valuable team members.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey also are able to tell when someone is lying to them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0their gut will feel that something is off kilter. They\\u2019ll detect the small cues of a lie and feel the residue inside them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Note to self:\\u00a0Never try to fool an empath.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. You are receptive to the environment around you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Empaths are more attuned to their environment than the average person, meaning their\\u00a0mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment \\u2013 including light, sounds and other sources of stimulation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs an empath you will be more able to feel the energy of different physical environments. You\\u2019ll be sensitive too, as your finely attuned radar picks up information in that particular\\u00a0environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths feel completely drained by an environment that feels un-alive and uplifted by the energy in other spaces.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"db985b2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5a3808b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"25c6594\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. You\\u2019ve been a therapist to your peers since school\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c21997\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3393cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed8aada\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you\\u2019re an empath, you\\u2019ve been helping people with their emotions since school days,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou were the person your peers turned to for advice and they viewed you as wise counsel. This is because you knew how to see other perspectives and could connect with their emotional experiences.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Because empaths have the ability\\u00a0to deeply feel another person\\u2019s problems and needs, they often know how to support others and what kind of comfort or encouragement they need. Their personalities are often healing and calming in times of crisis.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cMany therapists are empaths\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they too have been training since they were young. They intuitively understand about the ego and how defensively humans react when they are startled, hurt or why certain feelings arise.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs adults, they train in this field to further understand the human mind and motivations, and then want to help people decrease their suffering and distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f0b153b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8b70a54\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a00b5e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. You can\\u2019t relax while watching TV\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9a306d6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d78bd42\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c983090\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cDo you find sitting down to watch a thriller from beginning to end too hard? Many empaths can\\u2019t watch shows with too much tension.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, empaths have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate certain TV shows, movies, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSitting with an empath watching TV is confusing for some people. They only need to hear tension music and they can be off their seat and walking away from the screen. Any violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even implied violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0can be too much to bear.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While empaths obviously understand what they\\u2019re watching is not real, Abrahams said their intense ability to connect with a character still creates enormous discomfort. They never know when the tension or suspense will increase \\u2013 so often it becomes too much to handle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir hearts will race and with their mirror neurons observing the character on the screen\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they experience the fearful sensations too. They often need to physically remove themselves to calm down. It\\u2019s just too much for their mind and body and becomes unenjoyable tension.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b5185dd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4a63f49\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f0e096\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. You may also connect with people\\u2019s physical injuries or illnesses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8f44e8c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3cf88d4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c802aef\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAre you able to feel physical sensations when you\\u2019re around someone with physical injuries or an illness? Empaths feel these sensations in areas of their body similar to the location of the other\\u00a0person\\u2019s injury or illness. This is the level of their attunement.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Empaths are able to feel physical sensations to other people\\u2019s emotional states, Abrahams said. They tap into their anxiety or sadness and then feel this as physical sensations in their system too.<\\/p><p>Pretty crazy, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese could be heart rate increases, shaking hands, a migraine, or tightness in the chest. Physical mirroring occurs, like emotional mirroring,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat\\u2019s emotional impacts our physical experience, and what\\u2019s physical affects our emotional experience. Our mind and body are joined in us as we are one organism.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"91cce1a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13b3046\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"70164de\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. You have a strong need to help ease suffering\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"77f86d4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3054b7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"45b83dc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the biggest traits of an empath is how much they care \\u2013 which can often come off as caring \\u201ctoo much\\u201d or being \\u201ctoo emotional\\u201d.<\\/p><p>Take Abrahams, for example. \\u201cI saw a young boy running in the park yesterday, crying as he was running. I had to check in. \\u201cAre you ok?\\u201d I asked him. He replied \\u201cyes\\u201d, gasping for breath. I kept questioning\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0\\u201care you sure?\\u201d To which he smiled and reassured me he was fine. I then saw his dad running a fair distance ahead, and I realised that\\u00a0the boy was probably just hating the run!\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths see themselves as a resource to ease suffering. Quite simply\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they are kind and care about people (and often animals too and cannot tolerate their suffering). They know that by connecting\\u00a0and understanding people, they can help people to heal.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"85bf2a0\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c36caae\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e135894\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to thrive as an empath\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8c0609\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74bce76\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"459051d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>So, is being an empath good or bad?<\\/p><p>In a 2014\\u00a0study, clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron developed an evolutionary theory, proposing that sensory processing sensitivity is a trait that has evolved in order to enhance the survival of the human species.<\\/p><p>The study showed that a highly sensitive brain increased awareness and responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment, benefitting the whole group.<\\/p><p>However, the study also showed the pitfalls of being highly sensitive \\u2013 where it placed greater increased cognitive and metabolic demand upon individuals.<\\/p><p>So, how do you best navigate life as a highly sensitive empath? Is it possible to decrease the impact of this stimulation on your mental health?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, the biggest tip is learning how to set clear boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout boundaries that protect the empath, they will find themselves overwhelmed and run ragged,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>These boundaries include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cf87d13\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13e1377\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c825649\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Protecting your time\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a50854c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b9b3638\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e70a35f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, be cautious who you surround yourself with. \\u201cEmpaths need to consider how much time they spend helping others with their emotional states,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs they see themselves as a resource, they often go the extra mile to help people understand their struggles and to ease their distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7351f1e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6e780b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a3d9ce0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Protecting your energy levels\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2eaa995\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"068c75f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ba27732\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It\\u2019s also really important to know when to carve out time for yourself in order to decrease the excess energy and stimulation you\\u2019re getting from others and the surrounding environment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout protecting their energy levels, empaths can become immersed in the overwhelmed and emotional lives of others, which may leave the empath feeling depleted and exhausted.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"032d329\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ebd5e10\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"eaf12a0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Looking after self-care routines and rituals\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8a6fe2d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0176c74\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5c6ceb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cWhen empaths absorb the emotional information from others, they may expose themselves to hardcore emotional states. This may happen often\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0at work, with colleagues, with friends, with family,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSuch levels of emotional exposure can be experienced as stress in the empath\\u2019s mental and physical system. For this reason, empaths need to take care that their system can actually manage repeated exposures without being compromised.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"56eca57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163e5d3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"42ba220\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Understanding what\\u2019s your stuff and what isn\\u2019t\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"aa37d01\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed4550c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dd2cc13\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a tricky one, and it can end up being really detrimental to your mental health if you can\\u2019t work out what\\u2019s yours to care about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cJust because empaths can absorb emotional information doesn\\u2019t mean they always know where the emotional experience originated,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSometimes the information will hit up on their own emotional stuff. Therapy is a great way for empaths to learn to distinguish what\\u2019s their own stuff and what\\u2019s someone else\\u2019s.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"97586f5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"baeac1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8ea7d94\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Don\\u2019t provide solutions constantly\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9a508f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9e20cf8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"51d2a24\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important rule? Don\\u2019t feel like\\u00a0you have to \\u2018fix\\u2019 everything. Set some clear boundaries and know when you should remove yourself from a conversation.<\\/p><p>Often empaths will take on other people\\u2019s energy so as not to offend them (read: the person at the party who mentally unloads everything on you) \\u2013 which only leaves you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important that empaths don\\u2019t provide all the solutions\\u00a0for other people\\u2019s struggles. They should point them in the direction of help so that they can grow and have the opportunity to\\u00a0join the dots of their own experience,\\u201d suggests Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis facilitates a developmental journey without the empath needing to fully immerse themselves in their development.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f6cc322\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e20cf0d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4bebb8b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Speak out about poor behaviour towards you.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"39963c1\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e121a86\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5746731\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Lastly, Abrahams urges empaths to learn how to speak up. Just because you have the ability to understand other people\\u2019s motivations and behaviour, doesn\\u2019t mean you should use this as a way of excusing their behaviour.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to understand people, however the empath needs to ensure they call out crappy behaviour towards them and don\\u2019t suffer for their understanding.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to hear more advice from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p>Are you an empath? Do you relate to any of these characteristics?<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16612,5068,'_thumbnail_id','5006'),(16613,5068,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16614,5068,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16615,5069,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16616,5069,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16617,5069,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16618,5069,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16619,5069,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1185179290-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5006,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-257,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"7 Signs You\\u2019re An Empath And What This Means, According To An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We all have those people in our life who just\\u00a0*get*\\u00a0you. You know the ones. The friends that can instantly read your feelings and know what\\u2019s going on. Then there are those people you\\u2019ve known who are a little\\u2026 disconnected from the feelings of those around them.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s because there are some people in society who are more prone to empathy than others. In fact, more so than most \\u2018normal\\u2019 people.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>According to Dr Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of\\u00a0The Empath\\u2019s Survival Guide, each of us sit at different levels of an empathy scale.<\\/p><p>Dr Orloff describes it as a spectrum, where there\\u2019s people with no empathy (narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths), regular people who have empathy,\\u00a0highly sensitive people,\\u00a0and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.<\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>And no, before you even ask \\u2013 it doesn\\u2019t mean anything is wrong with you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cResearchers have found that empaths have more active mirror neurons \\u2013 this means they can tap into the micro-changes in others,\\u201d said psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst this ability is helpful at times,\\u00a0it can be problematic for empaths as they\\u2019re overworking in the emotional domain, often soaking up too much. Sometimes they can be filled up with feelings yet have no idea where they originated,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>Here\\u2019s absolutely\\u00a0everything you need to know about empaths \\u2013 including what it means and how to tell if you are one.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an empath means a little more than just being a sensitive person or being really empathetic to others \\u2013 it\\u2019s a whole other level.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are acutely aware of other people\\u2019s emotions and can often feel these emotions within themselves,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths connect with people emotionally and can easily understand them. It\\u2019s not a mental exercise but an intuitive ability. It\\u2019s their gut instinct.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And while it\\u2019s something that can be seen as a beneficial trait, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deeply.<\\/p><p>Because not only do empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, but they often internalise the feelings and pain of others, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are emotionally porous, like a sponge absorbing other people\\u2019s emotional information. They can see where people suffer and often like to ease it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How do you know if you\\u2019re an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you the kind of\\u00a0person who always avoids cringe-y or violent TV shows? Do you have a fear you\\u2019re going to disappoint people? Tend to overthink someone else\\u2019s feelings for days on end?<\\/p><p>You might be an empath.<\\/p><p>To find out what\\u00a0kind of\\u00a0characteristics are associated with empaths, we asked Abrahams to share some of the most common signs to look out for. Below are seven of them:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. You are affected by other people\\u2019s emotions and can take them on\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cYou have an incredibly highly attuned emotional radar that\\u2019s always on and can detect slight alterations in the emotional experience of others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This could be from micro changes in facial expressions, gestures, a tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, or mood shifts, she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can feel someone else\\u2019s feelings that they themselves may have no awareness of.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to quickly reiterate that point \\u2013 you can literally feel someone else\\u2019s feelings BEFORE they feel them.<\\/p><p>Sounds\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths choose to live alone and have a haven from being swamped by other people\\u2019s emotional states. Empaths can find it difficult to live with a partner as their partner\\u2019s mood and energy will impact them,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they live with their partner or a flatmate, they will need a space that\\u2019s their own to decompress and recalibrate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. You can understand other people\\u2019s perspective easily.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, empaths possess the ability to see life through a unique perspective which has been shaped by our own experiences, as well as through conscious and unconscious messages they\\u2019ve absorbed throughout life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can see other\\u2019s perspectives and stand in their shoes. This ability is a bonus, as many people can\\u2019t move away from their own viewpoint, causing them to be harsh or judgemental of others,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Due to these qualities, empaths have high emotional intelligence. \\u201cThey can be great leaders, and also valuable team members.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey also are able to tell when someone is lying to them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0their gut will feel that something is off kilter. They\\u2019ll detect the small cues of a lie and feel the residue inside them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Note to self:\\u00a0Never try to fool an empath.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. You are receptive to the environment around you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Empaths are more attuned to their environment than the average person, meaning their\\u00a0mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment \\u2013 including light, sounds and other sources of stimulation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs an empath you will be more able to feel the energy of different physical environments. You\\u2019ll be sensitive too, as your finely attuned radar picks up information in that particular\\u00a0environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths feel completely drained by an environment that feels un-alive and uplifted by the energy in other spaces.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"db985b2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5a3808b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"25c6594\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. You\\u2019ve been a therapist to your peers since school\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c21997\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3393cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed8aada\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you\\u2019re an empath, you\\u2019ve been helping people with their emotions since school days,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou were the person your peers turned to for advice and they viewed you as wise counsel. This is because you knew how to see other perspectives and could connect with their emotional experiences.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Because empaths have the ability\\u00a0to deeply feel another person\\u2019s problems and needs, they often know how to support others and what kind of comfort or encouragement they need. Their personalities are often healing and calming in times of crisis.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cMany therapists are empaths\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they too have been training since they were young. They intuitively understand about the ego and how defensively humans react when they are startled, hurt or why certain feelings arise.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs adults, they train in this field to further understand the human mind and motivations, and then want to help people decrease their suffering and distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f0b153b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8b70a54\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a00b5e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. You can\\u2019t relax while watching TV\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9a306d6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d78bd42\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c983090\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cDo you find sitting down to watch a thriller from beginning to end too hard? Many empaths can\\u2019t watch shows with too much tension.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, empaths have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate certain TV shows, movies, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSitting with an empath watching TV is confusing for some people. They only need to hear tension music and they can be off their seat and walking away from the screen. Any violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even implied violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0can be too much to bear.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While empaths obviously understand what they\\u2019re watching is not real, Abrahams said their intense ability to connect with a character still creates enormous discomfort. They never know when the tension or suspense will increase \\u2013 so often it becomes too much to handle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir hearts will race and with their mirror neurons observing the character on the screen\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they experience the fearful sensations too. They often need to physically remove themselves to calm down. It\\u2019s just too much for their mind and body and becomes unenjoyable tension.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b5185dd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4a63f49\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f0e096\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. You may also connect with people\\u2019s physical injuries or illnesses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8f44e8c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3cf88d4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c802aef\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAre you able to feel physical sensations when you\\u2019re around someone with physical injuries or an illness? Empaths feel these sensations in areas of their body similar to the location of the other\\u00a0person\\u2019s injury or illness. This is the level of their attunement.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Empaths are able to feel physical sensations to other people\\u2019s emotional states, Abrahams said. They tap into their anxiety or sadness and then feel this as physical sensations in their system too.<\\/p><p>Pretty crazy, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese could be heart rate increases, shaking hands, a migraine, or tightness in the chest. Physical mirroring occurs, like emotional mirroring,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat\\u2019s emotional impacts our physical experience, and what\\u2019s physical affects our emotional experience. Our mind and body are joined in us as we are one organism.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"91cce1a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13b3046\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"70164de\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. You have a strong need to help ease suffering\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"77f86d4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3054b7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"45b83dc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the biggest traits of an empath is how much they care \\u2013 which can often come off as caring \\u201ctoo much\\u201d or being \\u201ctoo emotional\\u201d.<\\/p><p>Take Abrahams, for example. \\u201cI saw a young boy running in the park yesterday, crying as he was running. I had to check in. \\u201cAre you ok?\\u201d I asked him. He replied \\u201cyes\\u201d, gasping for breath. I kept questioning\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0\\u201care you sure?\\u201d To which he smiled and reassured me he was fine. I then saw his dad running a fair distance ahead, and I realised that\\u00a0the boy was probably just hating the run!\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths see themselves as a resource to ease suffering. Quite simply\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they are kind and care about people (and often animals too and cannot tolerate their suffering). They know that by connecting\\u00a0and understanding people, they can help people to heal.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"85bf2a0\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c36caae\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e135894\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to thrive as an empath\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8c0609\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74bce76\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"459051d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>So, is being an empath good or bad?<\\/p><p>In a 2014\\u00a0study, clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron developed an evolutionary theory, proposing that sensory processing sensitivity is a trait that has evolved in order to enhance the survival of the human species.<\\/p><p>The study showed that a highly sensitive brain increased awareness and responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment, benefitting the whole group.<\\/p><p>However, the study also showed the pitfalls of being highly sensitive \\u2013 where it placed greater increased cognitive and metabolic demand upon individuals.<\\/p><p>So, how do you best navigate life as a highly sensitive empath? Is it possible to decrease the impact of this stimulation on your mental health?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, the biggest tip is learning how to set clear boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout boundaries that protect the empath, they will find themselves overwhelmed and run ragged,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>These boundaries include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cf87d13\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13e1377\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c825649\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Protecting your time\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a50854c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b9b3638\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e70a35f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, be cautious who you surround yourself with. \\u201cEmpaths need to consider how much time they spend helping others with their emotional states,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs they see themselves as a resource, they often go the extra mile to help people understand their struggles and to ease their distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7351f1e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6e780b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a3d9ce0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Protecting your energy levels\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2eaa995\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"068c75f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ba27732\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It\\u2019s also really important to know when to carve out time for yourself in order to decrease the excess energy and stimulation you\\u2019re getting from others and the surrounding environment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout protecting their energy levels, empaths can become immersed in the overwhelmed and emotional lives of others, which may leave the empath feeling depleted and exhausted.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"032d329\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ebd5e10\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"eaf12a0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Looking after self-care routines and rituals\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8a6fe2d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0176c74\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5c6ceb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cWhen empaths absorb the emotional information from others, they may expose themselves to hardcore emotional states. This may happen often\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0at work, with colleagues, with friends, with family,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSuch levels of emotional exposure can be experienced as stress in the empath\\u2019s mental and physical system. For this reason, empaths need to take care that their system can actually manage repeated exposures without being compromised.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"56eca57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163e5d3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"42ba220\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Understanding what\\u2019s your stuff and what isn\\u2019t\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"aa37d01\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed4550c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dd2cc13\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a tricky one, and it can end up being really detrimental to your mental health if you can\\u2019t work out what\\u2019s yours to care about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cJust because empaths can absorb emotional information doesn\\u2019t mean they always know where the emotional experience originated,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSometimes the information will hit up on their own emotional stuff. Therapy is a great way for empaths to learn to distinguish what\\u2019s their own stuff and what\\u2019s someone else\\u2019s.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"97586f5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"baeac1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8ea7d94\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Don\\u2019t provide solutions constantly\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9a508f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9e20cf8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"51d2a24\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important rule? Don\\u2019t feel like\\u00a0you have to \\u2018fix\\u2019 everything. Set some clear boundaries and know when you should remove yourself from a conversation.<\\/p><p>Often empaths will take on other people\\u2019s energy so as not to offend them (read: the person at the party who mentally unloads everything on you) \\u2013 which only leaves you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important that empaths don\\u2019t provide all the solutions\\u00a0for other people\\u2019s struggles. They should point them in the direction of help so that they can grow and have the opportunity to\\u00a0join the dots of their own experience,\\u201d suggests Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis facilitates a developmental journey without the empath needing to fully immerse themselves in their development.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f6cc322\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e20cf0d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4bebb8b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Speak out about poor behaviour towards you.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"39963c1\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e121a86\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5746731\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Lastly, Abrahams urges empaths to learn how to speak up. Just because you have the ability to understand other people\\u2019s motivations and behaviour, doesn\\u2019t mean you should use this as a way of excusing their behaviour.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to understand people, however the empath needs to ensure they call out crappy behaviour towards them and don\\u2019t suffer for their understanding.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to hear more advice from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p>Are you an empath? Do you relate to any of these characteristics?<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16620,5069,'_thumbnail_id','5006'),(16621,5069,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16622,5069,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16623,5070,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16624,5070,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16625,5070,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16626,5070,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16627,5070,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1185179290-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5006,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-257,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"7 Signs You\\u2019re An Empath And What This Means, According To An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We all have those people in our life who just\\u00a0*get*\\u00a0you. You know the ones. The friends that can instantly read your feelings and know what\\u2019s going on. Then there are those people you\\u2019ve known who are a little\\u2026 disconnected from the feelings of those around them.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s because there are some people in society who are more prone to empathy than others. In fact, more so than most \\u2018normal\\u2019 people.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>According to Dr Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of\\u00a0The Empath\\u2019s Survival Guide, each of us sit at different levels of an empathy scale.<\\/p><p>Dr Orloff describes it as a spectrum, where there\\u2019s people with no empathy (narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths), regular people who have empathy,\\u00a0highly sensitive people,\\u00a0and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.<\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>And no, before you even ask \\u2013 it doesn\\u2019t mean anything is wrong with you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cResearchers have found that empaths have more active mirror neurons \\u2013 this means they can tap into the micro-changes in others,\\u201d said psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst this ability is helpful at times,\\u00a0it can be problematic for empaths as they\\u2019re overworking in the emotional domain, often soaking up too much. Sometimes they can be filled up with feelings yet have no idea where they originated,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>Here\\u2019s absolutely\\u00a0everything you need to know about empaths \\u2013 including what it means and how to tell if you are one.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an empath means a little more than just being a sensitive person or being really empathetic to others \\u2013 it\\u2019s a whole other level.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are acutely aware of other people\\u2019s emotions and can often feel these emotions within themselves,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths connect with people emotionally and can easily understand them. It\\u2019s not a mental exercise but an intuitive ability. It\\u2019s their gut instinct.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And while it\\u2019s something that can be seen as a beneficial trait, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deeply.<\\/p><p>Because not only do empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, but they often internalise the feelings and pain of others, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths are emotionally porous, like a sponge absorbing other people\\u2019s emotional information. They can see where people suffer and often like to ease it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How do you know if you\\u2019re an empath?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you the kind of\\u00a0person who always avoids cringe-y or violent TV shows? Do you have a fear you\\u2019re going to disappoint people? Tend to overthink someone else\\u2019s feelings for days on end?<\\/p><p>You might be an empath.<\\/p><p>To find out what\\u00a0kind of\\u00a0characteristics are associated with empaths, we asked Abrahams to share some of the most common signs to look out for. Below are seven of them:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. You are affected by other people\\u2019s emotions and can take them on\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cYou have an incredibly highly attuned emotional radar that\\u2019s always on and can detect slight alterations in the emotional experience of others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This could be from micro changes in facial expressions, gestures, a tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, or mood shifts, she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can feel someone else\\u2019s feelings that they themselves may have no awareness of.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to quickly reiterate that point \\u2013 you can literally feel someone else\\u2019s feelings BEFORE they feel them.<\\/p><p>Sounds\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths choose to live alone and have a haven from being swamped by other people\\u2019s emotional states. Empaths can find it difficult to live with a partner as their partner\\u2019s mood and energy will impact them,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they live with their partner or a flatmate, they will need a space that\\u2019s their own to decompress and recalibrate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. You can understand other people\\u2019s perspective easily.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, empaths possess the ability to see life through a unique perspective which has been shaped by our own experiences, as well as through conscious and unconscious messages they\\u2019ve absorbed throughout life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can see other\\u2019s perspectives and stand in their shoes. This ability is a bonus, as many people can\\u2019t move away from their own viewpoint, causing them to be harsh or judgemental of others,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Due to these qualities, empaths have high emotional intelligence. \\u201cThey can be great leaders, and also valuable team members.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey also are able to tell when someone is lying to them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0their gut will feel that something is off kilter. They\\u2019ll detect the small cues of a lie and feel the residue inside them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Note to self:\\u00a0Never try to fool an empath.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. You are receptive to the environment around you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Empaths are more attuned to their environment than the average person, meaning their\\u00a0mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment \\u2013 including light, sounds and other sources of stimulation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs an empath you will be more able to feel the energy of different physical environments. You\\u2019ll be sensitive too, as your finely attuned radar picks up information in that particular\\u00a0environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome empaths feel completely drained by an environment that feels un-alive and uplifted by the energy in other spaces.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"db985b2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5a3808b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"25c6594\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. You\\u2019ve been a therapist to your peers since school\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c21997\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3393cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed8aada\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you\\u2019re an empath, you\\u2019ve been helping people with their emotions since school days,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou were the person your peers turned to for advice and they viewed you as wise counsel. This is because you knew how to see other perspectives and could connect with their emotional experiences.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Because empaths have the ability\\u00a0to deeply feel another person\\u2019s problems and needs, they often know how to support others and what kind of comfort or encouragement they need. Their personalities are often healing and calming in times of crisis.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cMany therapists are empaths\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they too have been training since they were young. They intuitively understand about the ego and how defensively humans react when they are startled, hurt or why certain feelings arise.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs adults, they train in this field to further understand the human mind and motivations, and then want to help people decrease their suffering and distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f0b153b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8b70a54\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a00b5e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. You can\\u2019t relax while watching TV\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9a306d6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d78bd42\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c983090\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cDo you find sitting down to watch a thriller from beginning to end too hard? Many empaths can\\u2019t watch shows with too much tension.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, empaths have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate certain TV shows, movies, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSitting with an empath watching TV is confusing for some people. They only need to hear tension music and they can be off their seat and walking away from the screen. Any violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even implied violence\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0can be too much to bear.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While empaths obviously understand what they\\u2019re watching is not real, Abrahams said their intense ability to connect with a character still creates enormous discomfort. They never know when the tension or suspense will increase \\u2013 so often it becomes too much to handle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir hearts will race and with their mirror neurons observing the character on the screen\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they experience the fearful sensations too. They often need to physically remove themselves to calm down. It\\u2019s just too much for their mind and body and becomes unenjoyable tension.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b5185dd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4a63f49\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f0e096\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. You may also connect with people\\u2019s physical injuries or illnesses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8f44e8c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3cf88d4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c802aef\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAre you able to feel physical sensations when you\\u2019re around someone with physical injuries or an illness? Empaths feel these sensations in areas of their body similar to the location of the other\\u00a0person\\u2019s injury or illness. This is the level of their attunement.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Empaths are able to feel physical sensations to other people\\u2019s emotional states, Abrahams said. They tap into their anxiety or sadness and then feel this as physical sensations in their system too.<\\/p><p>Pretty crazy, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese could be heart rate increases, shaking hands, a migraine, or tightness in the chest. Physical mirroring occurs, like emotional mirroring,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat\\u2019s emotional impacts our physical experience, and what\\u2019s physical affects our emotional experience. Our mind and body are joined in us as we are one organism.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"91cce1a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13b3046\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"70164de\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. You have a strong need to help ease suffering\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"77f86d4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3054b7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"45b83dc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the biggest traits of an empath is how much they care \\u2013 which can often come off as caring \\u201ctoo much\\u201d or being \\u201ctoo emotional\\u201d.<\\/p><p>Take Abrahams, for example. \\u201cI saw a young boy running in the park yesterday, crying as he was running. I had to check in. \\u201cAre you ok?\\u201d I asked him. He replied \\u201cyes\\u201d, gasping for breath. I kept questioning\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0\\u201care you sure?\\u201d To which he smiled and reassured me he was fine. I then saw his dad running a fair distance ahead, and I realised that\\u00a0the boy was probably just hating the run!\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths see themselves as a resource to ease suffering. Quite simply\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0they are kind and care about people (and often animals too and cannot tolerate their suffering). They know that by connecting\\u00a0and understanding people, they can help people to heal.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"85bf2a0\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c36caae\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e135894\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to thrive as an empath\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8c0609\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74bce76\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"459051d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>So, is being an empath good or bad?<\\/p><p>In a 2014\\u00a0study, clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron developed an evolutionary theory, proposing that sensory processing sensitivity is a trait that has evolved in order to enhance the survival of the human species.<\\/p><p>The study showed that a highly sensitive brain increased awareness and responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment, benefitting the whole group.<\\/p><p>However, the study also showed the pitfalls of being highly sensitive \\u2013 where it placed greater increased cognitive and metabolic demand upon individuals.<\\/p><p>So, how do you best navigate life as a highly sensitive empath? Is it possible to decrease the impact of this stimulation on your mental health?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, the biggest tip is learning how to set clear boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout boundaries that protect the empath, they will find themselves overwhelmed and run ragged,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>These boundaries include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cf87d13\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13e1377\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c825649\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Protecting your time\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a50854c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b9b3638\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e70a35f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, be cautious who you surround yourself with. \\u201cEmpaths need to consider how much time they spend helping others with their emotional states,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs they see themselves as a resource, they often go the extra mile to help people understand their struggles and to ease their distress.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7351f1e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6e780b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a3d9ce0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Protecting your energy levels\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2eaa995\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"068c75f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ba27732\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It\\u2019s also really important to know when to carve out time for yourself in order to decrease the excess energy and stimulation you\\u2019re getting from others and the surrounding environment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout protecting their energy levels, empaths can become immersed in the overwhelmed and emotional lives of others, which may leave the empath feeling depleted and exhausted.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"032d329\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ebd5e10\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"eaf12a0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Looking after self-care routines and rituals\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8a6fe2d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0176c74\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5c6ceb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cWhen empaths absorb the emotional information from others, they may expose themselves to hardcore emotional states. This may happen often\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0at work, with colleagues, with friends, with family,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSuch levels of emotional exposure can be experienced as stress in the empath\\u2019s mental and physical system. For this reason, empaths need to take care that their system can actually manage repeated exposures without being compromised.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"56eca57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163e5d3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"42ba220\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Understanding what\\u2019s your stuff and what isn\\u2019t\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"aa37d01\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ed4550c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dd2cc13\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a tricky one, and it can end up being really detrimental to your mental health if you can\\u2019t work out what\\u2019s yours to care about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cJust because empaths can absorb emotional information doesn\\u2019t mean they always know where the emotional experience originated,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSometimes the information will hit up on their own emotional stuff. Therapy is a great way for empaths to learn to distinguish what\\u2019s their own stuff and what\\u2019s someone else\\u2019s.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"97586f5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"baeac1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8ea7d94\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Don\\u2019t provide solutions constantly\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9a508f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9e20cf8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"51d2a24\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important rule? Don\\u2019t feel like\\u00a0you have to \\u2018fix\\u2019 everything. Set some clear boundaries and know when you should remove yourself from a conversation.<\\/p><p>Often empaths will take on other people\\u2019s energy so as not to offend them (read: the person at the party who mentally unloads everything on you) \\u2013 which only leaves you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important that empaths don\\u2019t provide all the solutions\\u00a0for other people\\u2019s struggles. They should point them in the direction of help so that they can grow and have the opportunity to\\u00a0join the dots of their own experience,\\u201d suggests Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis facilitates a developmental journey without the empath needing to fully immerse themselves in their development.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f6cc322\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e20cf0d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4bebb8b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Speak out about poor behaviour towards you.\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"39963c1\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e121a86\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5746731\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Lastly, Abrahams urges empaths to learn how to speak up. Just because you have the ability to understand other people\\u2019s motivations and behaviour, doesn\\u2019t mean you should use this as a way of excusing their behaviour.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to understand people, however the empath needs to ensure they call out crappy behaviour towards them and don\\u2019t suffer for their understanding.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to hear more advice from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p>Are you an empath? Do you relate to any of these characteristics?<\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (1185179290)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16628,5070,'_thumbnail_id','5006'),(16629,5070,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16630,5070,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16632,5071,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(16633,5071,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(16634,5071,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(16635,5071,'case_study_gallery',''),(16636,5071,'wg_client',''),(16637,5071,'wg_construction_date',''),(16638,5071,'wg_location',''),(16639,5071,'wg_gardener',''),(16640,5071,'wg_completed_date',''),(16641,5071,'wg_price',''),(16642,5071,'wg_download_1',''),(16643,5071,'wg_download_2',''),(16644,5071,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16645,5071,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16646,5071,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16647,5071,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16648,5071,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1523322002.jpg\",\"id\":5005,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-257,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"A Psychotherapist Told Us There Are 4 Different Types Of Shame. Here\\u2019s What They Mean\",\"description_text\":\"3 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Think of the worst, most embarrassing thing that\\u2019s ever happened to you. Are you picturing it? It\\u2019s\\u2026 bloody uncomfortable to look back on, isn\\u2019t it?\\u00a0 It might be\\u00a0that time your date completely ghosted you. When you had to do a work presentation, choked up, and had to sit down. That time your skirt rolled up underneath your bag and you flashed a whole bus full of people\\u2026<\\/p><p>Shame is a universal experience that comes in different scenarios \\u2013 and we all experience it in some shape or form.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And she\\u2019s up there with some of the most unpleasant of feels. Painful, in fact. Like, sometimes it\\u2019s uncomfortable enough to make you feel like\\u00a0you could actually just\\u2026 disappear.<\\/p><p>What you might not know about shame, however, is that there are some common situations where we\\u2019re more likely to feel bad about ourselves \\u2013 and each can affect us in different ways.<\\/p><p>To find out more, we speak to psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and look at everything we never knew we needed to know about shame.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is shame?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams explains it like this: \\u201cShame is a universal emotion we feel when we violate social norms. At such moments we feel humiliated, exposed, and small and are unable to look another person straight in the eye.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe can feel sick to our stomach, red in the face, and we typically want to hide from everyone.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s a common emotion that everyone will feel, Abrahams describes it as \\u201can underground emotion\\u201d that\\u2019s \\u201cdifferent from other emotions that we can talk about.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Weird, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we feel or reflect on our behaviour that causes us shame, we can become consumed with believing we \\u2013 as a person \\u2013 are bad,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re wondering if this is just the same as guilt \\u2013 same. But apparently, they\\u2019re actually two very separate emotions.<\\/p><p>While they may seem closely linked, Abrahams said that when we feel guilt, it\\u2019s our behaviour that is usually deemed as \\u2018bad\\u2019, whereas with shame, we don\\u2019t absorb the \\u2018badness\\u2019 into our sense of self, as we do with guilt.<\\/p><p>Shame goes to a deeper level of the psyche, where there\\u2019s a more painful awareness of the self. While shame\\u00a0can be felt in many situations, Abrahams said there is something at the core of shame that is always present \\u2013 a fear of disconnection.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLeading shame expert Brene Brown hits the nail perfectly on the head in her definition that \\u2018shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.\'\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cHer research shows that humans are hard-wired in every way for connection, love and belonging.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the feeling of shame can be brief and fleeting, it can also be an enduring emotion that can make you feel like\\u00a0you are fundamentally\\u00a0flawed and not \\u2018good enough\\u2019.<\\/p><p>\\u201cShame can exist wherever we believe we\\u2019re flawed, fearing people who are important to us will see us as not up to scratch, and then flick us away,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>How sad!<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans are social animals, as are many mammals. As social animals, we work hard to keep within the bounds of the various communities we belong. We need the feeling of inclusion.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s a reason we do this. We want others to see us in a desirable way and our ego helps us create and curate the image of ourselves that we wish to portray.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we behave in a way that\\u2019s out of the social norm, it will tap into our primitive fear that\\u00a0others will find out we\\u2019re not good enough, or unworthy, or unlovable\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0and any of these translate to being abandonable. And in our primitive DNA we know that being abandoned by our herd is deadly\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0just as it is for mammals in the wild.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Meaning? We have to stay on top of our game in order to protect ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe even have our ego telling us to behave in certain ways to protect our identity in public. It works hard to prevent us from being cancelled. Shame is why cancel culture is so powerful.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe can brutally judge someone who mis-stepped too far for our liking as unworthy, cut them down and then ostracise them. We become judge and jury, and feel blemish-free and pure in our self-image, implying \\u2018we\\u2019d never behave so poorly\\u2019. Social media has fuelled this exponentially.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some of the most common types of shame?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to psychotherapist Joseph Burgo, author of\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.amazon.com.au\\/Shame-Free-Yourself-Build-Self-Esteem\\/dp\\/1250151309\\\"><strong>Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem<\\/strong><\\/a>,\\u00a0there are four common types of sham, which he refers to as \\u201cshame paradigms\\u201d.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Unrequited love\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams describes one-sided love as one of the most fundamentally\\u00a0shameful experiences, \\u201csuch as a mother who doesn\\u2019t love their child, and the child feels inadequate and lacking.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see this in couple relationships where partners experience the shame of their partner\\u2019s diminishing emotional and sexual connection to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Exclusion\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Think of that time you weren\\u2019t invited to THAT party. Or when you were left out of the \\u2018group chat\\u2019 on WhatsApp or messenger.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to belong to our community or herd as humans have needed to belong to keep alive. It\\u2019s primitively wired in our mind and body that we are safer within a group and have more protection in numbers,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans on their own in the wild are extremely vulnerable to predators, just like many other mammals. Exclusion\\u00a0is wired into our DNA to symbolise vulnerability and death.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"458afbf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6e01\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"06fe96b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Unwanted exposure\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4208444\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"52ac754\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6da532f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThis shame happens when we feel we\\u2019ve stepped out of our norm in public, fearing judgement. My client Rachel had a relationship with a married man at work. They were caught up in what they felt was the loveliness of their affair until they weren\\u2019t\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0his wife found out.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMonths later, she feels shame about her involvement in this relationship and can\\u2019t reconcile how she \\u2018as an essentially good person\\u2019 could end up in an affair. She\\u2019s mortified by her actions, worries about what her colleagues think of her, and her mind is consumed daily with thoughts about it.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8bbbf4e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4922c23\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"52981f2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Disappointed expectation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"69b4838\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"818f701\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c90d384\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This type of shame is all about falling short of expectations \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s romantically or professionally.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMy client Jerome has a partner who constantly compares him unfavourably to her ex-boyfriend, and he feels diminished and useless,\\u201d shares Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cGerald wants the world to swallow him up when his partner shakes a finger, deeming him a \\u2018disappointment and embarrassment\\u2019,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cCan you see that in all of\\u00a0these examples, shame is the fear of being perceived as unworthy and abandonable? It\\u2019s a primitive fear that there is something\\u2019s not right about us and others will see it. We can all have these feelings.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d919458\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c21710a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ec2a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to learn from shame\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0029ec4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"77d2895\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d1a04b4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The good news? These are healthy emotions that everyone has \\u2013 so don\\u2019t feel like it\\u2019s just you. For some reason, though \\u2013 we just don\\u2019t talk about it, making it really hard for people to deal with.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe want to hide from it more than any other emotion. It hates being spoken about. We don\\u2019t want others to know about this part of us, as we fear their harsh judgments of us as inadequate and unworthy,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we feel shame, we can go to great lengths to avoid people, self-isolate and disconnect from others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe also find techniques to disconnect from ourselves, such as finding distractions, or even constructing ego-based stories to try to\\u00a0bolster our fragile ego\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0such as finding someone to blame, making harsh judgments of others, or minimising our role or responsibility. It\\u2019s awful for us to feel we are somehow\\u00a0\\u2018bad\\u2019 to the core.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Instead of just not dealing with it, Abrahams said when we\\u2019re feeling shame, we need to do the opposite of what shame wants us to do.<\\/p><p>When shame is overwhelming, there are three key things you need to do in order to help yourself learn and move forward.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4b9d236\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6c20018\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9aba557\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Don\\u2019t hide from it\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d1e0edb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6132632\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b30caa0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, you need to talk about it and get it out into the open. \\u201cWe need to expose shame by talking about it with someone who is empathic and understanding. This provides relief,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cShame survives alone and in secret. When we do the opposite, it cannot survive. Don\\u2019t plaster it on social media but make sure it\\u2019s a safe place to talk about it. Many people talk about their shame in therapy.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9ed28a6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86c35b6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"700b02d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Have self-compassion\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"81febf2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e4bb3e1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e5bccf0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAs shame happens between people\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0the best thing we can do is heal it with people. Self-compassion is key because when we\\u2019re able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we are more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b50534c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e701004\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d109fbd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Gather the learning from the experience\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bbbbc47\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"94d0d3a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b3b4a8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you messed up\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0decide to do it differently next time. Ask yourself what you learnt from the experience? Has it made you less judgemental and harsh? Can you now see more complexity in life? Do you re-evaluate relationships? Do you understand your history more?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s always something to learn as we navigate life\\u2019s emotional journeys\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0find the lessons from shame and keep them throughout life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to read more from Lissy, check out her\\u00a0e-book\\u00a0on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can impact our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (1523322002)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16649,5071,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16650,5071,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; 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We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"A Psychotherapist Told Us There Are 4 Different Types Of Shame. Here\\u2019s What They Mean\",\"description_text\":\"3 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Think of the worst, most embarrassing thing that\\u2019s ever happened to you. Are you picturing it? It\\u2019s\\u2026 bloody uncomfortable to look back on, isn\\u2019t it?\\u00a0 It might be\\u00a0that time your date completely ghosted you. When you had to do a work presentation, choked up, and had to sit down. That time your skirt rolled up underneath your bag and you flashed a whole bus full of people\\u2026<\\/p><p>Shame is a universal experience that comes in different scenarios \\u2013 and we all experience it in some shape or form.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And she\\u2019s up there with some of the most unpleasant of feels. Painful, in fact. Like, sometimes it\\u2019s uncomfortable enough to make you feel like\\u00a0you could actually just\\u2026 disappear.<\\/p><p>What you might not know about shame, however, is that there are some common situations where we\\u2019re more likely to feel bad about ourselves \\u2013 and each can affect us in different ways.<\\/p><p>To find out more, we speak to psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and look at everything we never knew we needed to know about shame.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is shame?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams explains it like this: \\u201cShame is a universal emotion we feel when we violate social norms. At such moments we feel humiliated, exposed, and small and are unable to look another person straight in the eye.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe can feel sick to our stomach, red in the face, and we typically want to hide from everyone.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s a common emotion that everyone will feel, Abrahams describes it as \\u201can underground emotion\\u201d that\\u2019s \\u201cdifferent from other emotions that we can talk about.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Weird, huh?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we feel or reflect on our behaviour that causes us shame, we can become consumed with believing we \\u2013 as a person \\u2013 are bad,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re wondering if this is just the same as guilt \\u2013 same. But apparently, they\\u2019re actually two very separate emotions.<\\/p><p>While they may seem closely linked, Abrahams said that when we feel guilt, it\\u2019s our behaviour that is usually deemed as \\u2018bad\\u2019, whereas with shame, we don\\u2019t absorb the \\u2018badness\\u2019 into our sense of self, as we do with guilt.<\\/p><p>Shame goes to a deeper level of the psyche, where there\\u2019s a more painful awareness of the self. While shame\\u00a0can be felt in many situations, Abrahams said there is something at the core of shame that is always present \\u2013 a fear of disconnection.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLeading shame expert Brene Brown hits the nail perfectly on the head in her definition that \\u2018shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.\'\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cHer research shows that humans are hard-wired in every way for connection, love and belonging.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the feeling of shame can be brief and fleeting, it can also be an enduring emotion that can make you feel like\\u00a0you are fundamentally\\u00a0flawed and not \\u2018good enough\\u2019.<\\/p><p>\\u201cShame can exist wherever we believe we\\u2019re flawed, fearing people who are important to us will see us as not up to scratch, and then flick us away,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>How sad!<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans are social animals, as are many mammals. As social animals, we work hard to keep within the bounds of the various communities we belong. We need the feeling of inclusion.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s a reason we do this. We want others to see us in a desirable way and our ego helps us create and curate the image of ourselves that we wish to portray.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we behave in a way that\\u2019s out of the social norm, it will tap into our primitive fear that\\u00a0others will find out we\\u2019re not good enough, or unworthy, or unlovable\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0and any of these translate to being abandonable. And in our primitive DNA we know that being abandoned by our herd is deadly\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0just as it is for mammals in the wild.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Meaning? We have to stay on top of our game in order to protect ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe even have our ego telling us to behave in certain ways to protect our identity in public. It works hard to prevent us from being cancelled. Shame is why cancel culture is so powerful.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe can brutally judge someone who mis-stepped too far for our liking as unworthy, cut them down and then ostracise them. We become judge and jury, and feel blemish-free and pure in our self-image, implying \\u2018we\\u2019d never behave so poorly\\u2019. Social media has fuelled this exponentially.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some of the most common types of shame?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to psychotherapist Joseph Burgo, author of\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.amazon.com.au\\/Shame-Free-Yourself-Build-Self-Esteem\\/dp\\/1250151309\\\"><strong>Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem<\\/strong><\\/a>,\\u00a0there are four common types of sham, which he refers to as \\u201cshame paradigms\\u201d.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Unrequited love\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams describes one-sided love as one of the most fundamentally\\u00a0shameful experiences, \\u201csuch as a mother who doesn\\u2019t love their child, and the child feels inadequate and lacking.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see this in couple relationships where partners experience the shame of their partner\\u2019s diminishing emotional and sexual connection to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Exclusion\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Think of that time you weren\\u2019t invited to THAT party. Or when you were left out of the \\u2018group chat\\u2019 on WhatsApp or messenger.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to belong to our community or herd as humans have needed to belong to keep alive. It\\u2019s primitively wired in our mind and body that we are safer within a group and have more protection in numbers,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans on their own in the wild are extremely vulnerable to predators, just like many other mammals. Exclusion\\u00a0is wired into our DNA to symbolise vulnerability and death.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"458afbf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6e01\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"06fe96b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Unwanted exposure\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4208444\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"52ac754\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6da532f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThis shame happens when we feel we\\u2019ve stepped out of our norm in public, fearing judgement. My client Rachel had a relationship with a married man at work. They were caught up in what they felt was the loveliness of their affair until they weren\\u2019t\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0his wife found out.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMonths later, she feels shame about her involvement in this relationship and can\\u2019t reconcile how she \\u2018as an essentially good person\\u2019 could end up in an affair. She\\u2019s mortified by her actions, worries about what her colleagues think of her, and her mind is consumed daily with thoughts about it.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8bbbf4e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4922c23\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"52981f2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Disappointed expectation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"69b4838\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"818f701\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c90d384\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This type of shame is all about falling short of expectations \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s romantically or professionally.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMy client Jerome has a partner who constantly compares him unfavourably to her ex-boyfriend, and he feels diminished and useless,\\u201d shares Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cGerald wants the world to swallow him up when his partner shakes a finger, deeming him a \\u2018disappointment and embarrassment\\u2019,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cCan you see that in all of\\u00a0these examples, shame is the fear of being perceived as unworthy and abandonable? It\\u2019s a primitive fear that there is something\\u2019s not right about us and others will see it. We can all have these feelings.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d919458\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c21710a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ec2a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to learn from shame\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0029ec4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"77d2895\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d1a04b4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The good news? These are healthy emotions that everyone has \\u2013 so don\\u2019t feel like it\\u2019s just you. For some reason, though \\u2013 we just don\\u2019t talk about it, making it really hard for people to deal with.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe want to hide from it more than any other emotion. It hates being spoken about. We don\\u2019t want others to know about this part of us, as we fear their harsh judgments of us as inadequate and unworthy,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we feel shame, we can go to great lengths to avoid people, self-isolate and disconnect from others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe also find techniques to disconnect from ourselves, such as finding distractions, or even constructing ego-based stories to try to\\u00a0bolster our fragile ego\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0such as finding someone to blame, making harsh judgments of others, or minimising our role or responsibility. It\\u2019s awful for us to feel we are somehow\\u00a0\\u2018bad\\u2019 to the core.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Instead of just not dealing with it, Abrahams said when we\\u2019re feeling shame, we need to do the opposite of what shame wants us to do.<\\/p><p>When shame is overwhelming, there are three key things you need to do in order to help yourself learn and move forward.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4b9d236\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6c20018\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9aba557\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Don\\u2019t hide from it\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d1e0edb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6132632\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b30caa0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First off, you need to talk about it and get it out into the open. \\u201cWe need to expose shame by talking about it with someone who is empathic and understanding. This provides relief,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cShame survives alone and in secret. When we do the opposite, it cannot survive. Don\\u2019t plaster it on social media but make sure it\\u2019s a safe place to talk about it. Many people talk about their shame in therapy.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9ed28a6\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86c35b6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"700b02d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Have self-compassion\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"81febf2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e4bb3e1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e5bccf0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAs shame happens between people\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0the best thing we can do is heal it with people. Self-compassion is key because when we\\u2019re able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we are more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b50534c\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e701004\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d109fbd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Gather the learning from the experience\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bbbbc47\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"94d0d3a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b3b4a8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIf you messed up\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0decide to do it differently next time. Ask yourself what you learnt from the experience? Has it made you less judgemental and harsh? Can you now see more complexity in life? Do you re-evaluate relationships? Do you understand your history more?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s always something to learn as we navigate life\\u2019s emotional journeys\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0find the lessons from shame and keep them throughout life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you would like to read more from Lissy, check out her\\u00a0e-book\\u00a0on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can impact our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock 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,{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"There Are 5 Types Of Narcissists. Here\\u2019s How To Spot Them\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>What do you think of when you think of a\\u00a0narcissist? Someone with a big ego? Someone totally in love with themselves? Someone who\\u2019s really controlling? Well, there\\u2019s a little more to it.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because while\\u00a0narcissism\\u00a0is one of those words you\\u2019ll hear often enough (hey,\\u00a0MAFS), the traits and inherent behaviours that make up a narcissistic personality are actually pretty complex \\u2013 it\\u2019s a lot deeper and more layered than simple vanity.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, narcissism may not be as easy to spot as you might think.<\\/p><p>To find out more, we spoke to psychologist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her everything we need to know about narcissistic behaviours \\u2013 including the different characteristics and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is narcissism?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First\\u00a0of all, what exactly is narcissism? While we often hear the term floating around, is it more than just being incredibly self-centred? Is it really something that is essentially bad?<\\/p><p>Abrahams explains it like this: \\u201cNarcissism is a personality trait, where people are extremely self-focused, have an inflated sense of self, and have a huge need for praise and recognition. They lack awareness of how their behaviour and self-absorption impact others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can also disregard the rights and needs of others. Most of us have some periods where we are more self-preoccupied than others, however, for narcissists, their excessive self-involvement isn\\u2019t a fleeting state.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While there is\\u00a0research\\u00a0out there that has revealed benefits associated with high narcissism (apparently mental toughness is one of them), it\\u2019s obviously a personality trait that can also be deeply damaging to others, sometimes resulting in a serious impact on\\u00a0mental health.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to remember that narcissist traits can also be quite subtle \\u2013 you might not even recognise you\\u2019re dealing with a highly narcissistic individual.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s why it\\u2019s important to look at some of the core differences of narcissism and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the different types of narcissists?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep. There\\u2019s more than one type of narcissism. Experts say it\\u2019s best viewed on a spectrum to see where people sit. If you\\u2019re wondering how it works, the\\u00a0Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), is the most commonly used measure of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s useful to think about narcissism as occurring along a spectrum from adaptive to maladaptive. Narcissism is adaptive and productive to our lives when we have high self-confidence and a high level of self-reliance,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHowever, at the other end, when it\\u2019s maladaptive, the traits will negatively impact you and others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said these traits include being entitled and displaying behaviours of superiority, using people, and arrogance.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNarcissistic personality disorder is well and truly at the malignant end of the spectrum,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>Below, we look at the five main kinds of narcissism and the common signs to look out for.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Overt or grandiose narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>An overt narcissist is more upfront with their methods of manipulation and generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t try to hide their ability to control others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be charming and enjoy the limelight on themselves. It can be easy to spot in others because being around them is somewhat\\u00a0uncomfortable\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0these are the people who regularly and shamelessly blow their own trumpet,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey want others to recognise and admire them and have an inflated sense of self, even overstating their achievements. They\\u2019re often entitled and feel superior.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Overt narcissists lack a sense of empathy, meaning they can be exploitative of others and their vulnerabilities, and excessively competitive, adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey lack the ability to reflect on how their excessive self-focus may be perceived by others.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Covert or vulnerable narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Covert narcissists are a little different. They tend to be more insidious and subtle with the methods they use to get what they want.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis type of narcissism can be harder to detect than overt. They are still very self-focused but it\\u2019s quieter; more hidden in their introversion.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are regularly preoccupied and express their low self-worth, their vulnerability, and how insecure they are. They are more likely to struggle with depression, shame and anxiety. They can feel victim-like.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For example, while an overt narcissist might post a selfie on Instagram to assert how beautiful they are and remain the centre of everyone\\u2019s attention, a covert narcissist might post a selfie showing how sad or down they are, seeking emotional validation and pity from others.<\\/p><p>Interesting, right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s still an absorption with themselves, about their deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. They have often experienced childhood abuse\\/neglect,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be defensive when they\\u2019re not viewed as special because they\\u2019re preoccupied with this fear.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Antagonistic narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to antagonistic narcissists, these types of people always have an enemy and are often focused on \\u2018winning\\u2019.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis type of narcissism is focused on rivalry and competition. At its heart, there\\u2019s a \\u2018them versus me\\u2019 mentality and a battle to win,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think of the people who shout at other drivers, criticise shop attendants or waiters and are relatively unpleasant to be around. Sound familiar?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey perpetually compete with others. They tend to\\u00a0argue and disagree with people, proving the \\u2018them versus me\\u2019 mindset. They can take advantage of people. They\\u2019re arrogant. It\\u2019s hard to connect with them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Communal narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Communal narcissism is a specific type of narcissism that involves an individual seeking attention and praise from others by doing good deeds or acts of service for the community.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, \\u201cThis is seen in contrast to antagonistic narcissism, as people with communal narcissism receive a sense of self-importance and social power from being altruistic and fair to others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can see themselves as generous and caring yet their behaviour may reveal they are not as empathic as they believe\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0such as being easily morally outraged or having excessive\\u00a0reactions when they perceive unfairness. It\\u2019s not genuine concern for the welfare of others.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Malignant narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Welcome to the most exploitative type of narcissism: Malignant narcissism.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMalignant narcissism is the nastiest type as they lack empathy. Even though they have a high self-regard and an excessive need for recognition, they can also be cruel and sadistic, even deriving enjoyment from this,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Often considered sociopaths, malignant narcissists lack a conscience and are highly abusive, enjoying seeing others hurt and suffering.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be aggressive and vindictive. They can worry excessively about others being a potential threat, even to the point of paranoia.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis has links with psychopathic and\\/or antisocial personality disorder. They are harmful to be in a relationship with and will exploit you sexually, physically, emotionally, or financially. Run! Run fast!\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to spot a narcissist\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to know the signs of narcissism, or its extreme form of narcissistic personality disorder, so you know what you are up against,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>When it comes to spotting a narcissist, Abrahams said there are a few core behaviours you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe signs below are all of someone with the disorder. Think of Donald Trump\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0he appears to tick all of\\u00a0these signs,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Look out for the below traits -<\\/p><ul><li>- An exaggerated sense of self-importance<\\/li><li>- A need for excessive admiration, praise, or perceived as superior (without the achievement)<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0A sense of entitlement \\u2013 expects compliance with their expectations<br \\/>-\\u00a0Inflating achievements and talents<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Preoccupation with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Elitism and concerned with \\u201cthe best\\u201d of everything<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Monopolise conversations, belittling and demeaning people they perceive as inferior<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Exploitative of others \\u2013 uses and misuses them<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Lacks empathy<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Consumed with envy and believes others envy them<\\/li><li>-\\u00a0Arrogance, boastful and pretentious<\\/li><\\/ul><p>If any of these behaviours sound familiar, you might be dealing with a highly narcissistic individual.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNarcissists can\\u2019t tolerate criticism at all. They\\u2019re easily offended. They can be emotionally\\u00a0dysregulated, becoming angry, rageful, and impatient if they don\\u2019t get their way or receive special treatment. When criticised they\\u2019ll be defensive and even cruel.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Can narcissists be helped?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering how to help navigate a relationship with someone who is a narcissist \\u2013 know that it\\u2019s not exactly simple.<\\/p><p>Narcissists can be extremely problematic and damaging on multiple levels \\u2013 physically, emotionally and financially \\u2013 so cutting ties may often be the best solution.<\\/p><p>\\u201cPeople with this personality trait or narcissistic personality disorder rarely seek treatment. They see nothing wrong with how self-focused they are or how they exploit and use others,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey don\\u2019t come to therapy for help. In fact, the only time I see them in therapy is when their partner has dragged them in because they can\\u2019t stand the way they\\u2019ve been treated in the relationship. They don\\u2019t last long in the process\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0a session or two at most.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because they are seeking admiration and praise and can\\u2019t tolerate that they won\\u2019t be getting that in therapy. In fact, their partner may be displeased with them, or I may comment on their behaviour or way of operating which will always be perceived as a criticism. They never return.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019d like to learn more from Lissy, check out\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>how our ego can harm our relationships<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (1745084162)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16753,5076,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16754,5076,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16755,5076,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16756,5076,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16757,5076,'_thumbnail_id','5004'),(16758,5076,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16759,5076,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16760,5076,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16761,5076,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16762,5076,'_edit_lock','1665973033:3'),(16763,5076,'_edit_last','3'),(16764,5076,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16765,5076,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16767,5076,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16800,5077,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16801,5077,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16802,5077,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16803,5077,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16804,5077,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16805,5077,'_thumbnail_id','5004'),(16806,5077,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16807,5077,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16808,5077,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16809,5077,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661501927;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16810,5078,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16811,5078,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16812,5078,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16813,5078,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16814,5078,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745084162.jpg\",\"id\":5004,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"There Are 5 Types Of Narcissists. Here\\u2019s How To Spot Them\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>What do you think of when you think of a\\u00a0narcissist? Someone with a big ego? Someone totally in love with themselves? Someone who\\u2019s really controlling? Well, there\\u2019s a little more to it.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because while\\u00a0narcissism\\u00a0is one of those words you\\u2019ll hear often enough (hey,\\u00a0MAFS), the traits and inherent behaviours that make up a narcissistic personality are actually pretty complex \\u2013 it\\u2019s a lot deeper and more layered than simple vanity.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, narcissism may not be as easy to spot as you might think.<\\/p><p>To find out more, we spoke to psychologist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her everything we need to know about narcissistic behaviours \\u2013 including the different characteristics and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is narcissism?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First\\u00a0of all, what exactly is narcissism? While we often hear the term floating around, is it more than just being incredibly self-centred? Is it really something that is essentially bad?<\\/p><p>Abrahams explains it like this: \\u201cNarcissism is a personality trait, where people are extremely self-focused, have an inflated sense of self, and have a huge need for praise and recognition. They lack awareness of how their behaviour and self-absorption impact others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can also disregard the rights and needs of others. Most of us have some periods where we are more self-preoccupied than others, however, for narcissists, their excessive self-involvement isn\\u2019t a fleeting state.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While there is\\u00a0research\\u00a0out there that has revealed benefits associated with high narcissism (apparently mental toughness is one of them), it\\u2019s obviously a personality trait that can also be deeply damaging to others, sometimes resulting in a serious impact on\\u00a0mental health.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to remember that narcissist traits can also be quite subtle \\u2013 you might not even recognise you\\u2019re dealing with a highly narcissistic individual.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s why it\\u2019s important to look at some of the core differences of narcissism and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the different types of narcissists?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep. There\\u2019s more than one type of narcissism. Experts say it\\u2019s best viewed on a spectrum to see where people sit. If you\\u2019re wondering how it works, the\\u00a0Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), is the most commonly used measure of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s useful to think about narcissism as occurring along a spectrum from adaptive to maladaptive. Narcissism is adaptive and productive to our lives when we have high self-confidence and a high level of self-reliance,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHowever, at the other end, when it\\u2019s maladaptive, the traits will negatively impact you and others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said these traits include being entitled and displaying behaviours of superiority, using people, and arrogance.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNarcissistic personality disorder is well and truly at the malignant end of the spectrum,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>Below, we look at the five main kinds of narcissism and the common signs to look out for.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Overt or grandiose narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>An overt narcissist is more upfront with their methods of manipulation and generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t try to hide their ability to control others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be charming and enjoy the limelight on themselves. It can be easy to spot in others because being around them is somewhat\\u00a0uncomfortable\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0these are the people who regularly and shamelessly blow their own trumpet,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey want others to recognise and admire them and have an inflated sense of self, even overstating their achievements. They\\u2019re often entitled and feel superior.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Overt narcissists lack a sense of empathy, meaning they can be exploitative of others and their vulnerabilities, and excessively competitive, adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey lack the ability to reflect on how their excessive self-focus may be perceived by others.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Covert or vulnerable narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Covert narcissists are a little different. They tend to be more insidious and subtle with the methods they use to get what they want.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis type of narcissism can be harder to detect than overt. They are still very self-focused but it\\u2019s quieter; more hidden in their introversion.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are regularly preoccupied and express their low self-worth, their vulnerability, and how insecure they are. They are more likely to struggle with depression, shame and anxiety. They can feel victim-like.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For example, while an overt narcissist might post a selfie on Instagram to assert how beautiful they are and remain the centre of everyone\\u2019s attention, a covert narcissist might post a selfie showing how sad or down they are, seeking emotional validation and pity from others.<\\/p><p>Interesting, right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s still an absorption with themselves, about their deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. They have often experienced childhood abuse\\/neglect,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be defensive when they\\u2019re not viewed as special because they\\u2019re preoccupied with this fear.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16815,5078,'_thumbnail_id','5004'),(16816,5078,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16817,5078,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16818,5078,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16819,5079,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16820,5079,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16821,5079,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16822,5079,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16823,5079,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745084162.jpg\",\"id\":5004,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"There Are 5 Types Of Narcissists. Here\\u2019s How To Spot Them\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>What do you think of when you think of a\\u00a0narcissist? Someone with a big ego? Someone totally in love with themselves? Someone who\\u2019s really controlling? Well, there\\u2019s a little more to it.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because while\\u00a0narcissism\\u00a0is one of those words you\\u2019ll hear often enough (hey,\\u00a0MAFS), the traits and inherent behaviours that make up a narcissistic personality are actually pretty complex \\u2013 it\\u2019s a lot deeper and more layered than simple vanity.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, narcissism may not be as easy to spot as you might think.<\\/p><p>To find out more, we spoke to psychologist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her everything we need to know about narcissistic behaviours \\u2013 including the different characteristics and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is narcissism?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>First\\u00a0of all, what exactly is narcissism? While we often hear the term floating around, is it more than just being incredibly self-centred? Is it really something that is essentially bad?<\\/p><p>Abrahams explains it like this: \\u201cNarcissism is a personality trait, where people are extremely self-focused, have an inflated sense of self, and have a huge need for praise and recognition. They lack awareness of how their behaviour and self-absorption impact others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can also disregard the rights and needs of others. Most of us have some periods where we are more self-preoccupied than others, however, for narcissists, their excessive self-involvement isn\\u2019t a fleeting state.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While there is\\u00a0research\\u00a0out there that has revealed benefits associated with high narcissism (apparently mental toughness is one of them), it\\u2019s obviously a personality trait that can also be deeply damaging to others, sometimes resulting in a serious impact on\\u00a0mental health.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to remember that narcissist traits can also be quite subtle \\u2013 you might not even recognise you\\u2019re dealing with a highly narcissistic individual.<\\/p><p>That\\u2019s why it\\u2019s important to look at some of the core differences of narcissism and how to spot them.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the different types of narcissists?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep. There\\u2019s more than one type of narcissism. Experts say it\\u2019s best viewed on a spectrum to see where people sit. If you\\u2019re wondering how it works, the\\u00a0Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), is the most commonly used measure of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s useful to think about narcissism as occurring along a spectrum from adaptive to maladaptive. Narcissism is adaptive and productive to our lives when we have high self-confidence and a high level of self-reliance,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHowever, at the other end, when it\\u2019s maladaptive, the traits will negatively impact you and others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said these traits include being entitled and displaying behaviours of superiority, using people, and arrogance.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNarcissistic personality disorder is well and truly at the malignant end of the spectrum,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>Below, we look at the five main kinds of narcissism and the common signs to look out for.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Overt or grandiose narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>An overt narcissist is more upfront with their methods of manipulation and generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t try to hide their ability to control others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be charming and enjoy the limelight on themselves. It can be easy to spot in others because being around them is somewhat\\u00a0uncomfortable\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0these are the people who regularly and shamelessly blow their own trumpet,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey want others to recognise and admire them and have an inflated sense of self, even overstating their achievements. They\\u2019re often entitled and feel superior.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Overt narcissists lack a sense of empathy, meaning they can be exploitative of others and their vulnerabilities, and excessively competitive, adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey lack the ability to reflect on how their excessive self-focus may be perceived by others.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Covert or vulnerable narcissism\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Covert narcissists are a little different. They tend to be more insidious and subtle with the methods they use to get what they want.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis type of narcissism can be harder to detect than overt. They are still very self-focused but it\\u2019s quieter; more hidden in their introversion.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are regularly preoccupied and express their low self-worth, their vulnerability, and how insecure they are. They are more likely to struggle with depression, shame and anxiety. They can feel victim-like.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For example, while an overt narcissist might post a selfie on Instagram to assert how beautiful they are and remain the centre of everyone\\u2019s attention, a covert narcissist might post a selfie showing how sad or down they are, seeking emotional validation and pity from others.<\\/p><p>Interesting, right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere\\u2019s still an absorption with themselves, about their deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. They have often experienced childhood abuse\\/neglect,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can be defensive when they\\u2019re not viewed as special because they\\u2019re preoccupied with this fear.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16824,5079,'_thumbnail_id','5004'),(16825,5079,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16826,5079,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16827,5079,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16828,5080,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16829,5080,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16830,5080,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16831,5080,'_wp_page_template','default'),