(17168,5099,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17169,5099,'_thumbnail_id','5000'),(17170,5099,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17171,5099,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17172,5099,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(17173,5100,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(17174,5100,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(17175,5100,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(17176,5100,'case_study_gallery',''),(17177,5100,'wg_client',''),(17178,5100,'wg_construction_date',''),(17179,5100,'wg_location',''),(17180,5100,'wg_gardener',''),(17181,5100,'wg_completed_date',''),(17182,5100,'wg_price',''),(17183,5100,'wg_download_1',''),(17184,5100,'wg_download_2',''),(17185,5100,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17186,5100,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17187,5100,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17188,5100,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17189,5100,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17190,5100,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(17191,5100,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(17192,5100,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(17193,5100,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(17194,5100,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17195,5100,'case_customer','David Luis'),(17196,5100,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(17197,5100,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(17198,5100,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17199,5100,'_edit_lock','1665973063:3'),(17200,5100,'_edit_last','3'),(17201,5100,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17202,5100,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(17204,5100,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(17237,5101,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17238,5101,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17239,5101,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17240,5101,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17241,5101,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17242,5101,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17243,5101,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17244,5101,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17245,5101,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:31;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:15;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:14;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:14;s:11:\"header_size\";i:14;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:14;}}}}}'),(17246,5101,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661504917;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17247,5102,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17248,5102,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17249,5102,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17250,5102,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17251,5102,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17252,5102,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17253,5102,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17254,5102,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17255,5102,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:31;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:15;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:14;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:14;s:11:\"header_size\";i:14;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:14;}}}}}'),(17256,5102,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661504917;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17257,5103,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17258,5103,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17259,5103,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17260,5103,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17261,5103,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17262,5103,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17263,5103,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17264,5103,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17265,5103,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:31;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:15;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:14;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:14;s:11:\"header_size\";i:14;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:14;}}}}}'),(17266,5103,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661504917;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17267,5104,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17268,5104,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17269,5104,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17270,5104,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17271,5104,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17272,5104,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17273,5104,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17274,5104,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17275,5104,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:31;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:15;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:14;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:14;s:11:\"header_size\";i:14;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:14;}}}}}'),(17276,5104,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661504917;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17277,5105,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(17278,5105,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(17279,5105,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(17280,5105,'case_study_gallery',''),(17281,5105,'wg_client',''),(17282,5105,'wg_construction_date',''),(17283,5105,'wg_location',''),(17284,5105,'wg_gardener',''),(17285,5105,'wg_completed_date',''),(17286,5105,'wg_price',''),(17287,5105,'wg_download_1',''),(17288,5105,'wg_download_2',''),(17289,5105,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17290,5105,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17291,5105,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17292,5105,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17293,5105,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-438,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"u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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"The Relationship Theory About \\u2018The One after THE ONE\\u2019 That Changes Everything\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You don\\u2019t have to be a fan of\\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians\\u00a0<\\/em>to know all about\\u00a0Kourtney Kardashian\\u2019s recent engagement to Travis Barker. It\\u2019s EVERYWHERE. Mostly because everyone was convinced she would FINALLY end up with\\u00a0Scott Disick.<\\/p><p>ICYMI (where have you been?), the pair shared a rocky as hell relationship for years, and have three kids together.<\\/p><p>She was single; he was single \\u2013 eventually they would get back together and work it all out. No?<\\/p><p>Instead, the eldest Kardashian left the back-and-forth relationship with Disick and found Barker \\u2013 to whom she is now engaged.<\\/p><p>And according to experts, this kind of roadmap is actually quite common in relationships.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that these days we\\u2019re becoming more aware than ever of what we want (and expect) from a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe \\u2018one after the one\\u2019 occurs when we believed that\\u00a0we were with the person we\\u2019d spend the rest of our lives with, and made a declaration to ourselves, our partner, and others,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOver time, we realised that they\\u2019re not actually \\u2018the one\\u2019. A separation occurs, and then we meet someone else, who we now declare is \\u2018the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>By tapping into how we feel with our partner, and being aware of the emotional experiences we want to have in our relationship, Abrahams said this means we are less likely to stay with what doesn\\u2019t actually feel right enough.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us work hard to get the relationship on track and we take our commitment seriously, however, if it isn\\u2019t working to meet enough of our needs, we\\u2019re more able to let it go these days instead of settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>But in order to understand the different factors underlying the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019, we need to first understand why we create \\u2018the one\\u2019\\u00a0in the first place.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, most people create a \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 about their prospective partner at the beginning of their relationship \\u2013 and it\\u2019s during this time that we tend to\\u00a0offer up\\u00a0the best of ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are considerate, well-groomed, interesting, intelligent, and funny. We want them to view us positively and to continue to find us special. We do our best so they consider us worthy of being their \\u2018one\\u2019,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we have an inkling that we may be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 we often assess their qualities rather glowingly. However, we also ignore, dismiss, or downplay information that may not quite fit with the narrative of our prospective partner\\u2019s wonderfulness and specialness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe both do this as we want to get this relationship over the line. The whole future of the relationship depends on this, as no one wants to commit to a \\u2018normal\\u2019 or \\u2018ordinary\\u2019 relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>INTERESTING.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that often the \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 fades, allowing you to become more aware of the emotional experiences that might be lacking.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe thought the lingering looks, acrobatic sex, and interesting discussions would last longer. The life we thought we\\u2019d have together isn\\u2019t quite transpiring. We may feel bored, unseen, undesirable. We may sometimes feel some niggles, or even dread. And these may be communicated to our partner via resentment or criticism.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When this happens, people will then usually end their relationship because it isn\\u2019t honouring what is most important to them in a committed relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThen we meet someone else, and they become special in our eyes. We create another specialness fantasy as, once again, we don\\u2019t want to commit to someone ordinary and we need to create long-term care and safety with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Once we\\u2019re able to find if we\\u2019re in a healthy, reliable relationship with this person, Abraham said we are able to \\u201ccommit to \\u2018the one after the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, does this mean we need to experience relationships that\\u00a0don\\u2019t\\u00a0work for us to understand what we actually want and desire?<\\/p><p>Here, we asked three women who ended up with the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019 to share their stories.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Lana\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAfter years of casual dating through the apps, I met *Ezra in broad daylight in person, which at the time I put down to \\u201cfate\\u201d. He played me hot and cold for months, keeping me at arm\\u2019s length then love bombing me, and I was addicted to the drama of it.<\\/p><p>He brought out a side of me that made me passionate and furious and desperate for his love, and I honestly thought he was the one for me because love meant you had to struggle this hard, and in the end, they would be worth it \\u2013 I\\u2019d have earned him. This kind of love was supposed to be fiery and addictive, right? I thought he was like the unavailable \\u201cBig\\u201d to my \\u201cCarrie\\u201d and we\\u00a0were destined to keep doing this until we settled down.<\\/p><p>He kept saying we were supposed to be together and that he loved me more than any woman he\\u2019d ever dated; that I was different and together we were different \\u2013 he would stop with his previous behaviour and be better for me.<\\/p><p>I eventually discovered that he\\u2019d cheated on me with multiple women and cut all ties with him, which was so painful at first, mostly because it was losing something I\\u2019d worked so hard for\\u2026 but ultimately really empowering, even all these years later. Only a month after that I jumped back on the [dating] apps and met *Joel.<\\/p><p>In Joel\\u2019s company I was the opposite of what I was with Ezra \\u2013 calm and at ease, confident with myself rather than anxious about not being a version of me he wanted. Everything was effortless. I never had to question his feelings, or that we were doing this \\u201cat the right time\\u201d for either of us. After a month we said \\u201cI love you\\u201d (and meant it), and within a year we were engaged.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emma\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I\\u2019m engaged, and my fiance was definitely the one after who I thought was the one! I dated this guy all the way through high school and uni \\u2013 we made it to my final year, doing the long-distance thing and travelling between each other\\u2019s universities (which were on opposite sides of England) every couple of weeks.<\\/p><p>We were together until I was 21 when I found out he\\u2019d been cheating on me the whole time (I would now not recommend long-distance university relationships!). We broke up, I graduated, moved in with my parents for a bit\\u00a0then relocated to London to get a job.<\\/p><p>I moved into a flat with four strangers and eventually ended up going out with one of the guys! We moved into a flat of our own in London, moved to Sydney together in 2017, got engaged in the middle of COVID at the end of last year and (as long as the world stops going mad) will now be getting married in July 2023.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Yvette\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Luke and I started dating when we were in high school \\u2013 he was my first \\u2018proper\\u2019 boyfriend. We shared a lot of the same friends, and after school, we remained in quite a tight-knit group. We dated for almost 10 years before I realised it was no longer the relationship for me.<\\/p><p>He really wanted to settle down, and for me \\u2013 it just didn\\u2019t feel right. I was still young and wanted to have fun. We went on a break and ended up going our separate ways \\u2013 which was hard as we would often still see each other at group events.<\\/p><p>I ended up meeting Aaron a few months after we broke up \\u2013 and it just felt really right. For me, he was definitely the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019. Within a year, we had a baby and got engaged \\u2013 it all just happened so naturally, and everything kind of fell into place. We\\u2019ve now been married for five years and have two kids.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to tell if you\\u2019re with \\u2018the one\\u2019\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Wo-woa-woah! Before you go breaking hearts, read this.<\\/p><p>If you think you might be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 before the one, Abrahams recommends following these six tips...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"40e5298\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af86c6b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"356153a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"448759f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8be43cc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Listen to yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"aecec6a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cImagine dropping a microphone inside your mind and turning the volume up to what your voice is really telling you. How happy are you? How unhappy are you? Is this too far away from what you thought the relationship would be like? How often do the niggles or even dread about the relationship appear?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe honest with yourself. The voice in your head is your ego, and it can harm your couple relationship. Before making the decision to exit, just make sure that your ego is not the cause of your unhappiness.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b5860d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af3248f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ea183a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c274cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1086c27\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Understand the origins\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"abef04f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much of it is about your partner and your relationship? Abraham said we\\u2019re often shaped by previous relationships with parents and other experiences, which shape our expectations and beliefs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome of these experiences remain unhealed or unresolved inside us, and we see the problem as emanating from our partner, not ourselves. This is linked to our ego. Our ego can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations, whilst making ourselves faultless.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you find any of this is familiar, get help from a therapist to sort this out before you decide to leave your partner. Your ego will remain unchecked, and the unhealed parts will seep into your next relationship. What we don\\u2019t know about ourselves can hurt us and our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a9cd573\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e90bd95\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c1efa90\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c6d564\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6c3870\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"See it as a vehicle for development\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"26b17e3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThink of this as a mirror to explore what this is in yourself. It\\u2019s as if our partner\\u2019s words, behaviour, or actions have tugged at a vulnerable or sensitive part of us. Be curious about this inside of yourself.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c4aa04f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"887e352\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f407a77\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"20d9ccb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36e603c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Locate your fears\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"b092fd4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fear can hold us in a relationship that we know isn\\u2019t quite right for us.<\\/p><p>Whether it\\u2019s the fear of a breakup, fear of being alone, fear of feeling shame or humiliation of the relationship \\u2018failing\\u2019, Abrahams said to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can solve them another way.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHow much of your fear is a story of fear, as opposed to reality? It can be very helpful to speak to wise people you know in your community or seek help with a therapist to work through your fears and where they come from,\\u201d she advises.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8ff0237\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9868d03\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"adbce57\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dad9d3d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3345d4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Be aware of feeling like you\\u2019re not getting a return on your investment\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"783978e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many people will stay in the relationship purely because they want a return on their investment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe have put our heart and soul into making this work. We\\u2019ve invested financially, years of our lives, our minds, and our love, shared friends and family. We may believe that walking away doesn\\u2019t give us the return on our investment as we wanted.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be a future together, children, a family unit, a home, financial stability, or the extended family and friends we now have together. There can be much to lose that can hold us in our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1245467\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2f3b04d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dfcbec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b439198\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c84fe84\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Don\\u2019t be afraid to disturb the status quo\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a15620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cMany commit to \\u2018the one before the one\\u2019 anyway, as they decide to stay in the relationship rather than disturb the status quo. For many this is a calculation of pros and cons, weighing fears, and also their age and stage of life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome may be fine with this decision, yet others can\\u2019t fully reconcile this decision and create a fantasy of \\u2018the one\\u2019 they\\u2019d like to be with. This could be a figment of their imagination or someone at work or even online.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Typically, Abrahams said this imaginary \\u2018one\\u2019 is different from their partner.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDespite their decision to remain, they live with the gnawing feeling that they made a mistake by settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to find out how your ego can impact your relationship? Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17294,5105,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(17295,5105,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(17296,5105,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(17297,5105,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(17298,5105,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17299,5105,'case_customer','David Luis'),(17300,5105,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(17301,5105,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(17302,5105,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17303,5105,'_edit_lock','1665973090:3'),(17304,5105,'_edit_last','3'),(17305,5105,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17306,5105,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(17308,5105,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(17341,5106,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17342,5106,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17343,5106,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17344,5106,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17345,5106,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17346,5106,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17347,5106,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17348,5106,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17349,5106,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(17350,5106,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661505263;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17351,5107,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17352,5107,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17353,5107,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17354,5107,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17355,5107,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17356,5107,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17357,5107,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17358,5107,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17359,5107,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(17360,5107,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661505263;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17361,5108,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17362,5108,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17363,5108,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17364,5108,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17365,5108,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17366,5108,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17367,5108,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17368,5108,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17369,5108,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(17370,5108,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661505263;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(17371,5109,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17372,5109,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17373,5109,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17374,5109,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17375,5109,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-438,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"The Relationship Theory About \\u2018The One after THE ONE\\u2019 That Changes Everything\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You don\\u2019t have to be a fan of\\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians\\u00a0<\\/em>to know all about\\u00a0Kourtney Kardashian\\u2019s recent engagement to Travis Barker. It\\u2019s EVERYWHERE. Mostly because everyone was convinced she would FINALLY end up with\\u00a0Scott Disick.<\\/p><p>ICYMI (where have you been?), the pair shared a rocky as hell relationship for years, and have three kids together.<\\/p><p>She was single; he was single \\u2013 eventually they would get back together and work it all out. No?<\\/p><p>Instead, the eldest Kardashian left the back-and-forth relationship with Disick and found Barker \\u2013 to whom she is now engaged.<\\/p><p>And according to experts, this kind of roadmap is actually quite common in relationships.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that these days we\\u2019re becoming more aware than ever of what we want (and expect) from a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe \\u2018one after the one\\u2019 occurs when we believed that\\u00a0we were with the person we\\u2019d spend the rest of our lives with, and made a declaration to ourselves, our partner, and others,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOver time, we realised that they\\u2019re not actually \\u2018the one\\u2019. A separation occurs, and then we meet someone else, who we now declare is \\u2018the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>By tapping into how we feel with our partner, and being aware of the emotional experiences we want to have in our relationship, Abrahams said this means we are less likely to stay with what doesn\\u2019t actually feel right enough.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us work hard to get the relationship on track and we take our commitment seriously, however, if it isn\\u2019t working to meet enough of our needs, we\\u2019re more able to let it go these days instead of settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>But in order to understand the different factors underlying the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019, we need to first understand why we create \\u2018the one\\u2019\\u00a0in the first place.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, most people create a \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 about their prospective partner at the beginning of their relationship \\u2013 and it\\u2019s during this time that we tend to\\u00a0offer up\\u00a0the best of ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are considerate, well-groomed, interesting, intelligent, and funny. We want them to view us positively and to continue to find us special. We do our best so they consider us worthy of being their \\u2018one\\u2019,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we have an inkling that we may be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 we often assess their qualities rather glowingly. However, we also ignore, dismiss, or downplay information that may not quite fit with the narrative of our prospective partner\\u2019s wonderfulness and specialness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe both do this as we want to get this relationship over the line. The whole future of the relationship depends on this, as no one wants to commit to a \\u2018normal\\u2019 or \\u2018ordinary\\u2019 relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>INTERESTING.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that often the \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 fades, allowing you to become more aware of the emotional experiences that might be lacking.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe thought the lingering looks, acrobatic sex, and interesting discussions would last longer. The life we thought we\\u2019d have together isn\\u2019t quite transpiring. We may feel bored, unseen, undesirable. We may sometimes feel some niggles, or even dread. And these may be communicated to our partner via resentment or criticism.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When this happens, people will then usually end their relationship because it isn\\u2019t honouring what is most important to them in a committed relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThen we meet someone else, and they become special in our eyes. We create another specialness fantasy as, once again, we don\\u2019t want to commit to someone ordinary and we need to create long-term care and safety with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Once we\\u2019re able to find if we\\u2019re in a healthy, reliable relationship with this person, Abraham said we are able to \\u201ccommit to \\u2018the one after the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, does this mean we need to experience relationships that\\u00a0don\\u2019t\\u00a0work for us to understand what we actually want and desire?<\\/p><p>Here, we asked three women who ended up with the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019 to share their stories.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Lana\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAfter years of casual dating through the apps, I met *Ezra in broad daylight in person, which at the time I put down to \\u201cfate\\u201d. He played me hot and cold for months, keeping me at arm\\u2019s length then love bombing me, and I was addicted to the drama of it.<\\/p><p>He brought out a side of me that made me passionate and furious and desperate for his love, and I honestly thought he was the one for me because love meant you had to struggle this hard, and in the end, they would be worth it \\u2013 I\\u2019d have earned him. This kind of love was supposed to be fiery and addictive, right? I thought he was like the unavailable \\u201cBig\\u201d to my \\u201cCarrie\\u201d and we\\u00a0were destined to keep doing this until we settled down.<\\/p><p>He kept saying we were supposed to be together and that he loved me more than any woman he\\u2019d ever dated; that I was different and together we were different \\u2013 he would stop with his previous behaviour and be better for me.<\\/p><p>I eventually discovered that he\\u2019d cheated on me with multiple women and cut all ties with him, which was so painful at first, mostly because it was losing something I\\u2019d worked so hard for\\u2026 but ultimately really empowering, even all these years later. Only a month after that I jumped back on the [dating] apps and met *Joel.<\\/p><p>In Joel\\u2019s company I was the opposite of what I was with Ezra \\u2013 calm and at ease, confident with myself rather than anxious about not being a version of me he wanted. Everything was effortless. I never had to question his feelings, or that we were doing this \\u201cat the right time\\u201d for either of us. After a month we said \\u201cI love you\\u201d (and meant it), and within a year we were engaged.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emma\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I\\u2019m engaged, and my fiance was definitely the one after who I thought was the one! I dated this guy all the way through high school and uni \\u2013 we made it to my final year, doing the long-distance thing and travelling between each other\\u2019s universities (which were on opposite sides of England) every couple of weeks.<\\/p><p>We were together until I was 21 when I found out he\\u2019d been cheating on me the whole time (I would now not recommend long-distance university relationships!). We broke up, I graduated, moved in with my parents for a bit\\u00a0then relocated to London to get a job.<\\/p><p>I moved into a flat with four strangers and eventually ended up going out with one of the guys! We moved into a flat of our own in London, moved to Sydney together in 2017, got engaged in the middle of COVID at the end of last year and (as long as the world stops going mad) will now be getting married in July 2023.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Yvette\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Luke and I started dating when we were in high school \\u2013 he was my first \\u2018proper\\u2019 boyfriend. We shared a lot of the same friends, and after school, we remained in quite a tight-knit group. We dated for almost 10 years before I realised it was no longer the relationship for me.<\\/p><p>He really wanted to settle down, and for me \\u2013 it just didn\\u2019t feel right. I was still young and wanted to have fun. We went on a break and ended up going our separate ways \\u2013 which was hard as we would often still see each other at group events.<\\/p><p>I ended up meeting Aaron a few months after we broke up \\u2013 and it just felt really right. For me, he was definitely the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019. Within a year, we had a baby and got engaged \\u2013 it all just happened so naturally, and everything kind of fell into place. We\\u2019ve now been married for five years and have two kids.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to tell if you\\u2019re with \\u2018the one\\u2019\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Wo-woa-woah! Before you go breaking hearts, read this.<\\/p><p>If you think you might be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 before the one, Abrahams recommends following these six tips...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"40e5298\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af86c6b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"356153a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"448759f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8be43cc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Listen to yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"aecec6a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cImagine dropping a microphone inside your mind and turning the volume up to what your voice is really telling you. How happy are you? How unhappy are you? Is this too far away from what you thought the relationship would be like? How often do the niggles or even dread about the relationship appear?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe honest with yourself. The voice in your head is your ego, and it can harm your couple relationship. Before making the decision to exit, just make sure that your ego is not the cause of your unhappiness.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b5860d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af3248f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ea183a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c274cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1086c27\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Understand the origins\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"abef04f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much of it is about your partner and your relationship? Abraham said we\\u2019re often shaped by previous relationships with parents and other experiences, which shape our expectations and beliefs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome of these experiences remain unhealed or unresolved inside us, and we see the problem as emanating from our partner, not ourselves. This is linked to our ego. Our ego can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations, whilst making ourselves faultless.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you find any of this is familiar, get help from a therapist to sort this out before you decide to leave your partner. Your ego will remain unchecked, and the unhealed parts will seep into your next relationship. What we don\\u2019t know about ourselves can hurt us and our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a9cd573\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e90bd95\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c1efa90\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c6d564\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6c3870\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"See it as a vehicle for development\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"26b17e3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThink of this as a mirror to explore what this is in yourself. It\\u2019s as if our partner\\u2019s words, behaviour, or actions have tugged at a vulnerable or sensitive part of us. Be curious about this inside of yourself.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c4aa04f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"887e352\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f407a77\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"20d9ccb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36e603c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Locate your fears\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"b092fd4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fear can hold us in a relationship that we know isn\\u2019t quite right for us.<\\/p><p>Whether it\\u2019s the fear of a breakup, fear of being alone, fear of feeling shame or humiliation of the relationship \\u2018failing\\u2019, Abrahams said to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can solve them another way.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHow much of your fear is a story of fear, as opposed to reality? It can be very helpful to speak to wise people you know in your community or seek help with a therapist to work through your fears and where they come from,\\u201d she advises.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8ff0237\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9868d03\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"adbce57\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dad9d3d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3345d4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Be aware of feeling like you\\u2019re not getting a return on your investment\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"783978e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many people will stay in the relationship purely because they want a return on their investment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe have put our heart and soul into making this work. We\\u2019ve invested financially, years of our lives, our minds, and our love, shared friends and family. We may believe that walking away doesn\\u2019t give us the return on our investment as we wanted.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be a future together, children, a family unit, a home, financial stability, or the extended family and friends we now have together. There can be much to lose that can hold us in our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1245467\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2f3b04d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dfcbec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b439198\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c84fe84\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Don\\u2019t be afraid to disturb the status quo\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a15620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cMany commit to \\u2018the one before the one\\u2019 anyway, as they decide to stay in the relationship rather than disturb the status quo. For many this is a calculation of pros and cons, weighing fears, and also their age and stage of life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome may be fine with this decision, yet others can\\u2019t fully reconcile this decision and create a fantasy of \\u2018the one\\u2019 they\\u2019d like to be with. This could be a figment of their imagination or someone at work or even online.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Typically, Abrahams said this imaginary \\u2018one\\u2019 is different from their partner.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDespite their decision to remain, they live with the gnawing feeling that they made a mistake by settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to find out how your ego can impact your relationship? 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17463,5112,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(17464,5112,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17465,5112,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17466,5112,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(17467,5043,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-17'),(17478,5114,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17479,5114,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17480,5114,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17481,5114,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17482,5114,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17483,5114,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(17484,5114,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17485,5114,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17486,5114,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(17487,5114,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506197;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17488,5115,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17489,5115,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17490,5115,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17491,5115,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17492,5115,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. 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source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17503,5116,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(17504,5116,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17505,5116,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17506,5116,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506197;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17507,5117,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17508,5117,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17509,5117,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17510,5117,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17511,5117,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17512,5117,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(17513,5117,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17514,5117,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17515,5117,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506197;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17516,5118,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17517,5118,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17518,5118,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17519,5118,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17520,5118,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17521,5118,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(17522,5118,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17523,5118,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17524,5118,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506197;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17525,5048,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(17526,5048,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506340;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17528,5119,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17529,5119,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17530,5119,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17531,5119,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17532,5119,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17533,5119,'_thumbnail_id','5028'),(17534,5119,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17535,5119,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17536,5119,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506367;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17537,5120,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17538,5120,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17539,5120,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17540,5120,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17541,5120,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17542,5120,'_thumbnail_id','5028'),(17543,5120,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17544,5120,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17545,5120,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506367;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17546,5121,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17547,5121,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17548,5121,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17549,5121,'_wp_page_template','default'),