(17727,5142,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_479612449-768x513-1.jpg\",\"id\":5002,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-281,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"12 rules that will help deepen your relationship\",\"description_text\":\"19 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Beyond the cute Instagram posts and meme tagging, relationships can be fickle AF. Because even if you\\u2019re head over heels for someone, there\\u2019s still going to be those s**tty moments of uncertainty, frustration, and confusion.<\\/p><p>But working on having a deeper relationship with your partner and ensuring you have a strong connection will ultimately mean that during these kinds of moments, you\\u2019ll be able to work through it together.<\\/p><p>As with most relationship things, it all starts with the one key need:\\u00a0communication.<\\/p><p>While it takes time and effort, the good news is that it doesn\\u2019t have to be difficult. And over time, you\\u2019ll find you have fewer lows \\u2013 all thanks to your connection.<\\/p><p>Here are 12 rules that will help deepen your relationship, according to couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Look after yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to being in a relationship, we can often end up spending so much of our time and energy on the other person, that many of us lose sight of ourselves and take the back seat.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is especially the case if we do not have a strong enough sense of self,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cI\\u2019ve seen many people become preoccupied with their partner and their needs and neglect their own.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Sad!<\\/p><p>Abrahams said one of the best ways we can\\u00a0improve our relationship\\u00a0is by bringing our healthiest selves into the relationship and maintaining this \\u2013 so try to concentrate on developing yourself and who you are before focusing on someone else.<\\/p><p>Go on, you got this!<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to look after our mind, body, and spirit,\\u201d reminds Abrahams. \\u201cWhen we do this, we keep toxicity at bay so we can spend our time connecting and being intimate.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Check your ego\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>That voice inside your head? That\\u2019s your ego. And it can do a lot of\\u00a0 things \\u00a0to a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego holds our conscious and unconscious beliefs and expectations about relationships. Think of it as a relational template that we operate from,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTo deepen our relationship with our partner, we need to remember that our relational template will be different from theirs.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, there will always be a gap between our templates that we need to resolve \\u2013 and that\\u2019s okay.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhat matters is how well we both navigate the gap. If we can discuss and work through difficulties, we will deepen the relationship. However, if the gap causes us fear and anxiety, then we may have a lot of conflicts instead.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Keep sexual intimacy on the agenda\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You know how it gets. Life is busy. There\\u2019s work. Kids. Social engagements. Netflix. Sometimes it seems like relationships (and intimacy) get placed on the back burner, while we go about our business and focus on all the glorious stresses daily life has to offer.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have busy lives with many competing demands\\u00a0at any given moment. This is even more the case if we have children. We need to take care as\\u00a0sexual intimacy\\u00a0can decrease quickly in couple relationships,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s okay to be too tired to have sex at times,\\u00a0if we are too tired too often it can really harm the relationship. Without this, there\\u2019s a kind of\\u2026 gap.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt reveals that our relationship is at the bottom of our priority list. I believe this is a huge mistake. This breeds loneliness, shame about feeling undesirable, or shame about being a low- or\\u00a0no-sex couple.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSex is what\\u00a0makes the couple relationship different from other relationships, and without it, we can feel like flatmates or siblings. Sex is often a special glue that deepens our connection and holds a relationship together.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Keep emotional intimacy alive\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>And it\\u2019s not just sexual intimacy \\u2013 the same goes for\\u00a0emotional\\u00a0intimacy, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we take our eyes off emotional intimacy in our\\u00a0couple relationship, we open the door to disharmony and conflict,\\u201d said Abrahams, who said all humans need connection.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are social animals, and connection with our partner helps us feel safe and secure in the world.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWithout the emotional connection, we no longer feel safe. We can feel lonely, depressed, or anxious that our relationship is in trouble or may even end. Emotional connection and intimacy is a crucial ingredient for a deeper relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Focus and get in sync\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much time do you spend together after work? On the weekends? Be honest.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIn a world that continuously competes for our attention, we can find it difficult to pay attention and listen to our partner. We have work emails coming in, Netflix programs to watch, or our mobile notifying us every other second to pay attention,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>When this happens, Abrahams said we may lose sight of our partner\\u2019s need to communicate with us.<\\/p><p>When you create a fulfilling routine with your partner, you\\u2019ll find you\\u2019re able to spend more quality time together and reconnect with one another.<\\/p><p>It could be as simple as going for a walk together after work, or waking up at the same time and making breakfast together in the morning.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey need us to focus, listen, and get in sync with them. This will deepen our relationship as we are showing them that\\u00a0we value, love, and respect them above everything else,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey will feel a deeper connection with us too. The opposite damages relationships. When we don\\u2019t focus or pretend to listen, our partner can tell feel we\\u2019re not properly with them, and this often causes upset or anger.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Go to couples therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another way to deepen your connection with your partner is to get to know them through the help of a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be life-transforming as couples therapy allows you to understand why you both behave or think as you do, and where you are so different,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTherapy also helps you both understand where these thoughts and behaviours came from. This experience will stay with you forever and have such a positive impact on you both for the years ahead.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. Honest communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Honesty is one of the biggest core values every couple needs in their relationship \\u2013 without it, things will kind of just fall apart.<\\/p><p>Opening up and being truthful with your partner about what you both want from the relationship, is key to establishing a strong foundation for trust and connection.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTo have a deeper relationship with your partner it\\u2019s important to be honest with them about what\\u2019s important to you and the relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe mindful that honesty can connect you both, however, the way you deliver your message may disconnect you. To deepen your relationship, connect respectfully and kindly as you share your viewpoint with them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Look in the mirror\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>To be honest with someone and be able to deepen your relationship with your partner, it\\u2019s essential to know yourself and your intentions.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\u201cHave an honest look in the mirror to see if you would want to have a partner like you. We all have areas we could pull up our socks.\\u201d<\\/p><p><em>Guilty!<\\/em><\\/p><p>\\u201cReflect on whether removing resentment, complaining, sulking or snapping at them would improve the relationship. Reflect on areas you could offer more support, be kinder, or do more to improve the functioning of the home.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Say thank you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p><em>Say iiiiit!<\\/em>\\u00a0Being nice to one another is seriously underrated, you guys. Not only does it show a massive sign of respect, but it also proves you appreciate them.<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s a simple thing to do, but it\\u2019s often one that\\u2019s the most forgotten.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis one is huge. I see many partners become resentful and bitter as they feel unappreciated by their partners,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI tell my couples to play the \\u2018thank you game\\u2019 where for one week they thank each other for every single thing their partner does for them that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t have to do themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Cute!<\\/p><p>\\u201cThank you for feeding the cat, putting out the washing, paying the bills, picking up food, doing the dishwasher, walking the dog, taking the kids to the dentist, or getting the shirts from the laundry.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cPartners are often shocked just how many things both of them are contributing in their shared lives. They feel closer and more appreciated when their many contributions have been acknowledged.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. Remember you are both unique individuals\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, another great way of deepening your relationship is to remember that both you and your partner are unique individuals.<\\/p><p>Like, remember when you first met? Both you and your partner had your own identities \\u2013 hobbies, friends, freedoms.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou both chose each other and committed to this relationship. However, the biggest mistake that prevents relationships from deepening is when we feel we own our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe can become quite controlling or even demanding. We both have hopes, dreams and desires for life. And our connection can deepen when we remember and respect their unique qualities exists.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. Be curious\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Let\\u2019s go back down memory lane, again. Remember when you first met your partner, and you found them interesting, funny, clever, and super sexy?\\u00a0Remember?!<\\/p><p>Gah! What a time.<\\/p><p>They had all these fancy life experiences we enjoyed, different friends and hobbies we didn\\u2019t know about \\u2013 things were\\u2026 exciting!<\\/p><p>When you\\u2019ve been in a relationship for a long time, it\\u2019s easy to lose sight of this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us believe we know our partners and lose curiosity about them. However, we are all altered by life and by our experiences in life,\\u201d said Abrams.<\\/p><p>She suggests keeping curious about your partner and how they are at this age and stage of life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cBeing curious about who they are will deepen the relationship as they will feel understood and respected by you.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. Relationships are a privilege\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAlways remember that it\\u2019s a privilege to be in a relationship and not a right. This can help you rise above what you may find problematic or irritating about them,\\u201d Abrahams said.<\\/p><p>Touch\\u00e9.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are many people who would love to be in a relationship, yet haven\\u2019t found someone to commit to. It will deepen your relationship if you remember that\\u00a0relationships are conditional, and they can end if partners don\\u2019t satisfy enough of the often unspoken conditions.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Looking for more tips on improving your communication with your partner? Check out Abrahams e-book,\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17728,5142,'_thumbnail_id','5002'),(17729,5142,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17730,5142,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17731,5089,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(17732,5143,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17733,5143,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17734,5143,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17735,5143,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17736,5143,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17737,5143,'_thumbnail_id','5000'),(17738,5143,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17739,5143,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17740,5144,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17741,5144,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17742,5144,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17743,5144,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17744,5144,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17745,5144,'_thumbnail_id','5000'),(17746,5144,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17747,5144,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17748,5145,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17749,5145,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17750,5145,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17751,5145,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17752,5145,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"13 signs you\\u2019re a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019, and what that means for your relationships\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether you\\u2019ve watched\\u00a0The White Lotus\\u00a0or not (where have you been?!), you\\u2019re probably familiar with the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019. Yeah? It\\u2019s the diagnosis that\\u2019s popping up\\u00a0everywhere\\u00a0right now \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got tons of people suddenly identifying themselves as HSPs.<\\/p><p>But while it might seem like a new\\u00a0Gen Z\\u00a0kinda thing, HSP is actually a very real trait that means a lot more than just being \\u201ctoo sensitive\\u201d.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP, essentially you\\u2019ll have a heightened sensory system, meaning you\\u2019re increasingly sensitive to physical, emotional and social stimuli \\u2013 everything from sights to sounds and textures.<\\/p><p>In saying that, it\\u2019s nothing major to worry about \\u2013 so don\\u2019t freak out. Being a highly sensitive person doesn\\u2019t affect your health in any way (it\\u2019s a normal trait), and is actually often seen as something that is quite beneficial.<\\/p><p>However, there are some occasional disadvantages of feeling too much, too deep.<\\/p><p>Here, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0everything we need to know about HSPs \\u2013 and what kind of impact it might have on our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 diagnosis?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Originally coined by researcher\\u00a0Dr Elaine Aron\\u00a0in the early 90s, HSP is not really a disorder or diagnosis.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is a personality trait which has a particular pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent and stable across one\\u2019s lifespan. Another example of a personality trait is introversion or extroversion,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is not a disorder; it is a sensitivity, and its scientific name is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity. There is sensory processing disorder, which is a condition where the response to sensory input is impaired. For HSPs there is no impairment, however they have a stronger reaction than those without the sensitivity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to research by Dr Aron, HSP is completely normal and something that is found in 15 to 20 per cent of the population. Meaning? Around one in five people will be HSPs.<\\/p><p>So, chances are you either know one or you are one.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSP is innate and also evident in other species. Being HSPs may increase their chances of survival as HSPs observe and reflect on the subtleties of others before acting.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, while HSPs might easily notice details and patterns that others miss, the drawback is that HSPs can get easily overwhelmed.<\\/p><p>Think of 15 people calling and texting you at the same time.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHSPs expend their energy noticing people and environmental stimuli. Therefore, they often withdraw to replenish their energy and calm down their nervous system,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are often overstimulated and easily overwhelmed. This makes them sensitive to sounds or light or crowds.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are the signs of a highly sensitive person?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Okay, so how do you actually ~know~ if you\\u2019re on the HSP side of things? Well, according to Abrahams, there are 13 common symptoms that are related to HSP.<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to point out that not\\u00a0all\\u00a0of\\u00a0these will resonate with someone on the sensitivity spectrum, yeah?<\\/p><p>As per Abrahams, HSPs typically experience many of the below -<\\/p><ol><li>Easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (lights, strong smells and sounds).<\\/li><li>Easily overwhelmed by internal stimuli (thought, emotions and realisations).<\\/li><li>Higher empathy and awareness of other\\u2019s needs.<\\/li><li>Aversion to large groups or crowds.<\\/li><li>Rattled when they feel time pressured.<\\/li><li>Avoid violent movies and TV shows.<\\/li><li>Need alone time as can experience overwhelm, exhaustion and even burnout.<\\/li><li>Often withdraw to get relief into a private space.<\\/li><li>Arrange their lives to avoid situations where they will feel upset or overwhelmed.<\\/li><li>They notice or enjoy delicate scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art.<\\/li><li>They have a rich and complex inner life (intuition or creativity).<\\/li><li>Difficulty with transitions and changes.<\\/li><li>Were often sensitive or shy as a child.<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Are empaths and highly sensitive persons linked?\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Well, not necessarily. While the two do share some common traits and crossovers, they also have a lot of differences, too.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe Dr Judith Orloff\\u2019s notion of an empathic spectrum describes the difference between HSPs and empaths well, and it is a matter of degrees of empathy that distinguish them,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can imagine a spectrum moving from no empathy on the left of the spectrum (those who are deficient in empathy such as\\u00a0narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths) to normal loving, empathic people as you move along the spectrum, to HSPs and at the other end of the spectrum are empaths.\\u201d<\\/p><p>To give you an idea of what this might look like, here\\u2019s what the Empathic Spectrum looks like below -\\u00a0<\\/p><p><img class=\\\"alignnone wp-image-5096 size-large\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2021\\/12\\/Empaths-HSPs-Linked-1024x141.png\\\" alt=\\\"\\\" width=\\\"640\\\" height=\\\"88\\\" \\/><\\/p><p>Interesting!<\\/p><p>While empaths share all the traits of HSPs, Abrahams said the main difference is that \\u201cempaths take the empathic experience much further and absorb even more of the emotional energy or stimuli from others and the environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, it\\u2019s kind of like an accelerated version of HSPs, where they\\u2019re wired to process other people\\u2019s feelings more intensely, effecting them in numerous ways.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI see empaths as being more porous than HSPs, as if they have less of an internal\\/external boundary\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where it is difficult to differentiate between what is my stuff and what is your stuff? It all becomes the empath\\u2019s stuff and they often cannot tell the difference as they internalise the feelings and pain of others.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cEmpaths differ from HSPs as many empaths feel intuitively connected within themselves, and to animals and nature. This is not part of the HSP personality trait.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why is there such a buzz around the term \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re wondering why there\\u2019s suddenly so much talk around a term that\\u2019s been around for\\u00a0yonks, so are we. But according to Abrahams, there are a few reasons behind it \\u2013 and it\\u2019s got nothing to do with\\u00a0The\\u00a0White Lotus.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHumans love to categorise and put people in understandable boxes. We have done this forever by declaring someone is narcissistic or borderline or bipolar if we don\\u2019t understand or appreciate their behaviour,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the unqualified diagnosis and labelling someone HSP is similar, where we have deemed their behaviour as \\u2018too sensitive\\u2019 and clearly a failing of some sort.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And you know who\\u2019s sitting at the crux of it? You guessed it\\u2026<\\/p><p>\\u201cMillennials are often the target of this unprofessional diagnosis, with the notion that they have all been wrapped in cotton wool. Calling them HSPs implies they are a \\u2018snowflake\\u2019\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0where they lack resilience and are more prone to taking offence. This does not recognise the gifts and limitations in combination that HSPs experience.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cI believe the term is being overused without understanding the impact the sensitivity has on the person,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How being a \\u2018highly sensitive person\\u2019 can impact your relationships.\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships can be\\u00a0complicated AF \\u2013 no matter your personality type. But being a HSP and having this kind of deep emotional intelligence can heighten a lot of the usual nuances \\u2013 whether it\\u2019s with your friends, family or significant other.<\\/p><p>Below are some of the native impacts being a HSP can have on your relationships...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional self-regulation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cEven though HSPs may have a high awareness of themselves and others\\u2019 emotional states, it does not mean that they can necessarily\\u00a0handle negative emotions inside of themselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s usually absent is the regulation of emotions, with HSPs feeling overwhelmed at higher levels than others.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen this happens, they can feel fear, anger, shame or sadness that they express impulsively in an outburst,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can lead to conflict with their partner who may feel attacked, shamed or blindsided by what their HSP partner saw.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For those who cannot self regulate this trait, it can end up being a case where you are able to be sensitive and aware of others, but unable to support your own wellbeing.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emotional challenges\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs take on the feelings of their partner and others which leaves them affected by changes of states in others. This can be difficult in a relationship; we all need to be able to\\u00a0have emotional variations in our day-to-day lives without something always \\u2018being wrong\\u2019 or needing attention brought to it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>This might mean there\\u2019s way too much focus on everyone else around you, and not enough focus on yourself.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, Abrahams said HSPs often have emotional or interpersonal challenges in that they often want others to be more like them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst they may be aware and sensitive to others, they also feel upset when they feel others don\\u2019t meet their standards or feel sufficient reciprocation of similar care, thought about them,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt can feel lonely and there is often a large gap between how the HSP thinks about others and their needs versus what they receive in return.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey can feel disappointed, anxious, depressed by this gap. Some can also be highly critical of those who fall short. As said previously, emotional awareness does not necessarily\\u00a0mean the HSP has the ability to regulate their emotions.\\u201d\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Restriction on one\\u2019s partner\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, HSPs often have heightened startle responses which often prevents them being able to tolerate TV shows where there is horror or for some even thrillers, or certain styles or volume of music.<\\/p><p>Um. We feel\\u2026 seen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis means they create rules so that they do not become overwhelmed. In a relationship, a partner or family member will be restricted by the conditions imposed on them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>This might include restrictions on what TV shows or movies are acceptable. If you\\u2019re the kind of\\u00a0person who hides behind the sofa\\u00a0during a cringe-y movie or a thriller \\u2013 you know what we\\u2019re talking about.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe problem when viewing is that HSPs never know when the tension or suspense will increase, and all of a sudden it becomes too much to handle.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same goes for music, with Abrahams saying that some HSPs may be able to\\u00a0tolerate rock or pop music yet unable to tolerate their partner\\u2019s jazz music.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe partner may only feel free to\\u00a0listen to this when they are alone as they don\\u2019t want to impose the jazz on their partner and cause them to suffer.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Avoid, miss out and have FOMO\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Because HSPs find it hard to be reactive and overstimulated by the environment, Abrahams said they will often opt out of arrangements with their partner, friends, or family when they know that\\u00a0they will struggle.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is because their discomfort is not mild, for HSPs the environment becomes unbearable, and this will alter their emotional state immediately. For many they cannot go to concerts as they are too loud, shopping centres are too crowded, and even the sun is too bright.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Fatigue\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Being an emotional sponge for everyone around you can be\\u2026 exhausting.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is tiring to be so overstimulated by the environment and other\\u2019s emotions. HSPs often focus on their energy levels and pay a hefty price when they are exhausted. In a relationship, they can be the couple handbrake or the killjoy.\\u201d<\\/p><p>For HSPs, sleep is a way to soothe their over-worked senses. So when they don\\u2019t get enough sleep \\u2013 everything kind of\\u00a0goes to sh*t.<\\/p><p>\\u201cTheir partner often needs to make concessions around them, such as leaving early or going alone even though they want their partner with them. It is frustrating for both partners and life limiting.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Prioritising self-care\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said HSPs need to take close care of their mental and physical wellbeing as they are more susceptible to burnout.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor the HSP they need to prioritise sufficient sleep, sufficient down time following overstimulation and healthy food.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While it might seem just like a little bit of harmless self-care, Abrahams said having a relationship with an HSP may be limiting for some partners.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe relationship may lack spontaneity, and one\\u2019s partner may get tired of generating ideas that are rejected due to the need for self-care and the threat of overstimulation.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"The positives of being a highly sensitive person\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>But!\\u00a0It\\u2019s not all bad! Promise, you guys. On the flip side of things, there can be numerous benefits to relationships with HSPs.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said some of the positive impacts include...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"823b853\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ef6d43\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c87660a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Kindness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7ed68e2\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f250982\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cffbde8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHSPs can be kind and caring of their partner, often focusing on their wellbeing. They have a lot to give. The health of the relationship matters a lot to them.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2d794f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d26ea59\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"74368d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Creative, appreciating and sharing with one\\u2019s partner and others\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6985cfc\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"86103f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f5f3cc3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If a HSP has an interest in arts and music, Abrahams said they will usually possess the ability to be able to\\u00a0tap into more of the emotional experience created by the artist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is likely that their emotional awareness to others, art, music and the environment hooks into their being and allows them a deeper connection with their visual, auditory, and emotional world,\\u201d she adds.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be shared with one\\u2019s partner and they develop a deeper understanding of these landscapes too. The partner of an HSP can overtime develop a deeper understanding of people\\u2019s minds, intentions and motivation.\\u201d<\\/p><p>How cool is that!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is a rich and fascinating world that the HSPs can bring to others and offer different perspectives, show curiosity for others, and be generous of themselves. Others may benefit greatly\\u00a0from their emotional wisdom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>While the idea of having superhuman emotional intelligence might sound like fun, Abrahams said it\\u2019s important to acknowledge both the \\u2018good\\u2019 and \\u2018bad\\u2019 aspects of the trait.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst it can be an asset to have emotional intelligence, it is not given without a price being paid. It\\u2019s like superman having incredible powers to fly, change time and save people, until he encounters a blob of kryptonite that weakens him completely, taking him out.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe should not overvalue the benefits and gifts HSPs have and ignore the price paid for the gift. It\\u2019s a package deal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re a HSP and you\\u2019re looking for some help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17753,5145,'_thumbnail_id','5000'),(17754,5145,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17755,5145,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17756,5094,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:31;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:31;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:15;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:14;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:14;s:11:\"header_size\";i:14;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:14;}}}}}'),(17757,5146,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17758,5146,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17759,5146,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17760,5146,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17761,5146,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17762,5146,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17763,5146,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17764,5146,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17765,5147,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17766,5147,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17767,5147,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17768,5147,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17769,5147,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17770,5147,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17771,5147,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17772,5147,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17773,5148,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17774,5148,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17775,5148,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17776,5148,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17777,5148,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-248,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"Why Your Relationship Feels Like A Struggle Right Now\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\\u2019re in\\u00a0lockdown\\u00a0and you\\u2019re a pinkie nail away from absolutely LOSING YOUR S**T if your partner so much as BREATHES near you (\\u0298\\u203f\\u0298) \\u2013 you\\u2019re not alone, friend.<\\/p><p>This is a safe space.<\\/p><p>The last year or so has pulled a LEVEL TEN on relationships \\u2013 and we\\u2019re not just talking about\\u00a0intimate partners. We\\u2019re talking about housemates, family members \\u2013 the whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLockdowns have been brutal on relationships. Small issues can become big ones when you\\u2019re in close confines for months. It\\u2019s like being in a pressure cooker,\\u201d said psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s been very difficult, especially for those who have experienced financial difficulties and job insecurity. The daily grind has worn down many parents who have been juggling\\u00a0homeschooling young children\\u00a0with their work responsibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey might also have a child with special needs and a lot less access to support. Throw in the challenge of border restrictions, many struggle with being separated from family.\\u201d<\\/p><p>There\\u2019s no denying that the added stress, enforced quality time and changes in our current day-to-day routines has had a massive impact on our relationships and how we communicate with each other. And it\\u2019s been a make-or-break situation for many couples.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAll of these factors contribute to many of us struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, and even despair. Any of these can tip one or both partners over the edge. If there were any cracks in the relationship before Covid, the pressure from lockdown rips these cracks wide open.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, it\\u2019s important to note that it\\u2019s not the same for everyone \\u2013 some couples are\\u00a0 thriving .<\\/p><p>\\u201cOn the flip side, lockdown has also had its benefits for some couples who say they have much more time together and enjoy working from home without being under the pump all the time.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may enjoy not continuously travelling overseas or interstate. They may enjoy the simplicity of being home and with their children and may have always sensed that the busy life that they have been living meant that they were missing greater connection with those under their roof.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that typically these kinds of couples are in a good position.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey have work security, can pay their rent, mortgages and household expenses without worry, their children may be older and mostly self-sufficient.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, with a large proportion of us still in some form of lockdown, we\\u2019ve asked Abrahams to share some of her pearls of wisdom when it comes to improving our relationships.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why your relationship is suffering right now\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, there\\u2019s two common reasons why\\u00a0your relationship might be going a bit\\u00a0s**t lately: Poor communication and a\\u00a0lack of intimacy.<\\/p><p>Look, we\\u2019re not experts \\u2013 but we\\u2019re fairly certain these things are pretty darn important. Right?<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany couples are fighting more frequently, being resentful about an uneven take up of household chores, and not feeling heard and understood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is hard work for couples under normal circumstances and can often lead to conflict. Lockdown adds more pressure on these relationships, making life exhausting and lonely. There is less resilience now than at the beginning of lockdowns.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When it comes to the intimacy side of things, don\\u2019t panic, though \\u2013 it\\u2019s not just you. Abrahams said\\u00a0losing interest in being intimate\\u00a0with each other is another super common issue.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany partners say they \\u201ccan\\u2019t be bothered\\u201d, \\u201cdon\\u2019t feel attractive\\u201d, or \\u201ccan\\u2019t get in the mood\\u201d. Intimacy is a special glue in a relationship. Without it, partners experience loneliness and unhappiness, which can be a slippery slope towards separation and divorce,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>What\\u2019s more, a stale sex life can sometimes feel awkward AF to address \\u2013 and a lot of people will tend to just push ahead because they feel like it\\u2019s too uncomfortable to discuss. Which is never a good thing, really.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFeeling emotionally and physically disconnected can lead to partners feeling fearful about their partner\\u2019s interest in them, irritation or frustration, and even anger. We don\\u2019t like feeling we are moving away from our partner or that they are moving away from us emotionally.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, just how common are we talking?<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, current research on the pandemic and relationships is backing up what she\\u2019s seeing in her consulting room.<\\/p><p>\\u201cA recent study from Indiana University revealed that 34 per cent of participants have experienced increased conflict in their relationship and decreased intimacy since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.\\u201d<\\/p><p>No good.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is a worrying figure, and they are linked. The more we fight, the less we want to be close to our partner. The less intimacy we share, the more damage to the relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Just to be clear, this increased conflict can happen for a whole load of different reasons \\u2013 it\\u2019s complex as heck.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAdd partners who are not doing well and rely on alcohol or substances to \\u201cjust get through the day\\u201d. Add to this the fears of business owners about the survival of their business or employees who worry how long their employer will keep them on.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Whatever affects one partner emotionally or financially, essentially impacts the other partner and their entire relationship, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The good news is that there are some things you can do to fix it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to stop fighting with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first and most important thing to do is to take time out. Abrahams said you both need to stop interacting for about 15 minutes and wait for your nervous system to calm down.<\\/p><p>Essentially, chill the f**k out for a couple of minutes.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNo fight will ever\\u00a0be resolved unless we do this, as the part of the brain and body that is active during the fight-or-flight response is a different part of the brain used for working to solve the problem,\\u201d she explains.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s why it is critical to take time out. It will also help you to\\u00a0reconnect with a clearer mind so you can both try again with a more respectful approach.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another important thing to do is to try to\\u00a0understand the real reason\\u00a0why\\u00a0you\\u2019re fighting. Like, for real.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said many of us will get worked up about a topic, but that\\u2019s not the real reason we fight \\u2013 there\\u2019s usually underlying, unresolved issues at the core of it.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, many couples fight about money, but behind this is always one partner who is feeling fear, pain or shame with their partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Another example would be if our partner spends much more money than us \\u2013 we can feel fearful of not having enough in the future, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur partner may experience us as shaming them or trying to control them. It is easy to fight with these emotions going on inside us.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Why understanding your ego is important\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\\u2019re not talking about the ego in terms of the whole \\u2018self-importance\\u2019 thing. Nah. We\\u2019re talking about the ego as part of your personality. Everyone has it. And it\\u2019s an integral trigger when it comes to responding to a threat or situation.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThere are different definitions of what the ego is, however, essentially it is a part of our mind that is concerned with\\u00a0me,\\u00a0my\\u00a0experiences,\\u00a0my\\u00a0reflections and anything that\\u2019s\\u00a0mine. It is\\u00a0my\\u00a0personal framework or lens that I view the world through.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need our ego to get us out of bed and get dressed for work or to complete tasks or study. We are concerned with our image and identity, and success. We all need a certain amount of healthy ego strength to get on and put ourselves forward for new opportunities. This doesn\\u2019t mean the ego is bad. It\\u2019s normal.\\u201d<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, nothing can kill a relationship quite like an ego \\u2013 so it\\u2019s important to understand what it is and how it operates, and the feelings of fear and shame that it can produce. Because this alone can help prevent a helluva lot of damage.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ego is the voice in our head that sounds like us. There is no physical structure called the ego, but it is linked to a part of the brain that tells stories about ourselves, others and situations. It likes to feel secure and safe, however it has no idea how to achieve this, and it can make us pretty miserable\\u00a0at times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt creates stories about ourselves and others and judges, blames, feels inferior or superior. It likes to bolster us when we feel low or shoot us down to feel even lower. Or it does all of this to our partner. It is always involved in couple conflict and sends us into fight-or-flight mode when we feel threatened.<\\/p><p>Just us, or does the ego kinda sounds like a\\u2026 d**k?<\\/p><p>\\u201cOur ego likes to blame our partner when we believe they \\u201cmade us feel\\u201d fearful, distressed or ashamed. We cannot imagine it came from anywhere else. We fight with them and let them know why they are inadequate as a partner, why they let us down and sometimes we shout this at them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>As we mentioned before, if you know what your ego looks like when it\\u2019s being triggered, you can better recognise what\\u2019s going on and when it might be time to take a step back and cool down.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re struggling to keep your ego in check, Abrahams recommends:<\\/p><p><strong>1. Seeking therapy.\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is important we understand some of the\\u00a0experiences that caused us fear, pain or shame in childhood with our parents or caregivers. For many of us, these experiences were traumatic. Therapy will help us identify the triggers so they don\\u2019t ruin our lives, our relationships and family.\\u201d<\\/p><p><strong>2. Taking an online course.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>\\u201cOnline courses, like the one I have created, specifically help partners understand how their ego formed from their own experiences and how it impacts their life and relationship,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p><strong>3. Learning mindfulness and breathing techniques.<\\/strong><\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, practices like mindfulness or breathing techniques can help identify ego-based stories and help us calm down when triggered.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to improve communication\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Upping your communication is crucial. \\u201cWithout respectful and skilful communication, we will have difficulty connecting with our partner. If this is prolonged, we may even damage our relationship,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Just take a minute to think back to when you first met your partner and how\\u2026 different things were when it came to being open and tolerating each other\\u2019s differences.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we first met our partner, we listened and shared experiences both past and present, for hours on end. Over time and with increasing life demands and some complacency, we no longer offer them the same respect and generosity of spirit.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe now struggle to really listen to them and them to us, we are not as curious about them anymore, and we don\\u2019t always like how they view the world. We can even shoot their opinions down as they feel too threatening to where we want to be in life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cCommunication is essential to have a healthy and connected relationship. I have seen many couples struggle with communication, and their intimacy has suffered. Communication does not improve by itself, and couples need to work together to make it better. If couples don\\u2019t attend to it, I believe the decay settles in.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you and your partner are having difficulties improving your communication, Abraham recommends seeing an experienced therapist for advice.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt is truly transformative and we can learn so much about ourselves and how we operate in our relationship. The benefits extend and often improve relationships with children, extended family, friends, and co-workers.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou can also access online courses to work through conflict and communication problems. Seek out\\u00a0resources from credible experts.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Above all, Abrahams reminds us to be mindful that, even though they are \\u201cour partner\\u201d, that does not mean that we own them. Don\\u2019t get the two confused.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey are not an object, and we need to keep respect and care on the agenda. We need to stop trying to control our partner. We need to stop belittling or judging them or being angry or sulky with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cRelationships are conditional and if we destroy too many of the conditions holding us together, they can end. We never know if we are going to be part of the 33 percent of couples who divorce each year. No couple sets out to be.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we want a thriving and connected relationship, we need to do the work to understand our triggers and our conflict to bring health and joy back into our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17778,5148,'_thumbnail_id','5001'),(17779,5148,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17780,5148,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17781,5100,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(17782,5094,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661506905;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17783,5149,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17784,5149,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17785,5149,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17786,5149,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17787,5149,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-438,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"The Relationship Theory About \\u2018The One after THE ONE\\u2019 That Changes Everything\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You don\\u2019t have to be a fan of\\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians\\u00a0<\\/em>to know all about\\u00a0Kourtney Kardashian\\u2019s recent engagement to Travis Barker. It\\u2019s EVERYWHERE. Mostly because everyone was convinced she would FINALLY end up with\\u00a0Scott Disick.<\\/p><p>ICYMI (where have you been?), the pair shared a rocky as hell relationship for years, and have three kids together.<\\/p><p>She was single; he was single \\u2013 eventually they would get back together and work it all out. No?<\\/p><p>Instead, the eldest Kardashian left the back-and-forth relationship with Disick and found Barker \\u2013 to whom she is now engaged.<\\/p><p>And according to experts, this kind of roadmap is actually quite common in relationships.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that these days we\\u2019re becoming more aware than ever of what we want (and expect) from a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe \\u2018one after the one\\u2019 occurs when we believed that\\u00a0we were with the person we\\u2019d spend the rest of our lives with, and made a declaration to ourselves, our partner, and others,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOver time, we realised that they\\u2019re not actually \\u2018the one\\u2019. A separation occurs, and then we meet someone else, who we now declare is \\u2018the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>By tapping into how we feel with our partner, and being aware of the emotional experiences we want to have in our relationship, Abrahams said this means we are less likely to stay with what doesn\\u2019t actually feel right enough.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us work hard to get the relationship on track and we take our commitment seriously, however, if it isn\\u2019t working to meet enough of our needs, we\\u2019re more able to let it go these days instead of settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>But in order to understand the different factors underlying the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019, we need to first understand why we create \\u2018the one\\u2019\\u00a0in the first place.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, most people create a \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 about their prospective partner at the beginning of their relationship \\u2013 and it\\u2019s during this time that we tend to\\u00a0offer up\\u00a0the best of ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are considerate, well-groomed, interesting, intelligent, and funny. We want them to view us positively and to continue to find us special. We do our best so they consider us worthy of being their \\u2018one\\u2019,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we have an inkling that we may be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 we often assess their qualities rather glowingly. However, we also ignore, dismiss, or downplay information that may not quite fit with the narrative of our prospective partner\\u2019s wonderfulness and specialness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe both do this as we want to get this relationship over the line. The whole future of the relationship depends on this, as no one wants to commit to a \\u2018normal\\u2019 or \\u2018ordinary\\u2019 relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>INTERESTING.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that often the \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 fades, allowing you to become more aware of the emotional experiences that might be lacking.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe thought the lingering looks, acrobatic sex, and interesting discussions would last longer. The life we thought we\\u2019d have together isn\\u2019t quite transpiring. We may feel bored, unseen, undesirable. We may sometimes feel some niggles, or even dread. And these may be communicated to our partner via resentment or criticism.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When this happens, people will then usually end their relationship because it isn\\u2019t honouring what is most important to them in a committed relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThen we meet someone else, and they become special in our eyes. We create another specialness fantasy as, once again, we don\\u2019t want to commit to someone ordinary and we need to create long-term care and safety with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Once we\\u2019re able to find if we\\u2019re in a healthy, reliable relationship with this person, Abraham said we are able to \\u201ccommit to \\u2018the one after the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, does this mean we need to experience relationships that\\u00a0don\\u2019t\\u00a0work for us to understand what we actually want and desire?<\\/p><p>Here, we asked three women who ended up with the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019 to share their stories.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Lana\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAfter years of casual dating through the apps, I met *Ezra in broad daylight in person, which at the time I put down to \\u201cfate\\u201d. He played me hot and cold for months, keeping me at arm\\u2019s length then love bombing me, and I was addicted to the drama of it.<\\/p><p>He brought out a side of me that made me passionate and furious and desperate for his love, and I honestly thought he was the one for me because love meant you had to struggle this hard, and in the end, they would be worth it \\u2013 I\\u2019d have earned him. This kind of love was supposed to be fiery and addictive, right? I thought he was like the unavailable \\u201cBig\\u201d to my \\u201cCarrie\\u201d and we\\u00a0were destined to keep doing this until we settled down.<\\/p><p>He kept saying we were supposed to be together and that he loved me more than any woman he\\u2019d ever dated; that I was different and together we were different \\u2013 he would stop with his previous behaviour and be better for me.<\\/p><p>I eventually discovered that he\\u2019d cheated on me with multiple women and cut all ties with him, which was so painful at first, mostly because it was losing something I\\u2019d worked so hard for\\u2026 but ultimately really empowering, even all these years later. Only a month after that I jumped back on the [dating] apps and met *Joel.<\\/p><p>In Joel\\u2019s company I was the opposite of what I was with Ezra \\u2013 calm and at ease, confident with myself rather than anxious about not being a version of me he wanted. Everything was effortless. I never had to question his feelings, or that we were doing this \\u201cat the right time\\u201d for either of us. After a month we said \\u201cI love you\\u201d (and meant it), and within a year we were engaged.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emma\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I\\u2019m engaged, and my fiance was definitely the one after who I thought was the one! I dated this guy all the way through high school and uni \\u2013 we made it to my final year, doing the long-distance thing and travelling between each other\\u2019s universities (which were on opposite sides of England) every couple of weeks.<\\/p><p>We were together until I was 21 when I found out he\\u2019d been cheating on me the whole time (I would now not recommend long-distance university relationships!). We broke up, I graduated, moved in with my parents for a bit\\u00a0then relocated to London to get a job.<\\/p><p>I moved into a flat with four strangers and eventually ended up going out with one of the guys! We moved into a flat of our own in London, moved to Sydney together in 2017, got engaged in the middle of COVID at the end of last year and (as long as the world stops going mad) will now be getting married in July 2023.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Yvette\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Luke and I started dating when we were in high school \\u2013 he was my first \\u2018proper\\u2019 boyfriend. We shared a lot of the same friends, and after school, we remained in quite a tight-knit group. We dated for almost 10 years before I realised it was no longer the relationship for me.<\\/p><p>He really wanted to settle down, and for me \\u2013 it just didn\\u2019t feel right. I was still young and wanted to have fun. We went on a break and ended up going our separate ways \\u2013 which was hard as we would often still see each other at group events.<\\/p><p>I ended up meeting Aaron a few months after we broke up \\u2013 and it just felt really right. For me, he was definitely the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019. Within a year, we had a baby and got engaged \\u2013 it all just happened so naturally, and everything kind of fell into place. We\\u2019ve now been married for five years and have two kids.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to tell if you\\u2019re with \\u2018the one\\u2019\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Wo-woa-woah! Before you go breaking hearts, read this.<\\/p><p>If you think you might be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 before the one, Abrahams recommends following these six tips...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"40e5298\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af86c6b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"356153a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"448759f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8be43cc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Listen to yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"aecec6a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cImagine dropping a microphone inside your mind and turning the volume up to what your voice is really telling you. How happy are you? How unhappy are you? Is this too far away from what you thought the relationship would be like? How often do the niggles or even dread about the relationship appear?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe honest with yourself. The voice in your head is your ego, and it can harm your couple relationship. Before making the decision to exit, just make sure that your ego is not the cause of your unhappiness.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b5860d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af3248f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ea183a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c274cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1086c27\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Understand the origins\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"abef04f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much of it is about your partner and your relationship? Abraham said we\\u2019re often shaped by previous relationships with parents and other experiences, which shape our expectations and beliefs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome of these experiences remain unhealed or unresolved inside us, and we see the problem as emanating from our partner, not ourselves. This is linked to our ego. Our ego can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations, whilst making ourselves faultless.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you find any of this is familiar, get help from a therapist to sort this out before you decide to leave your partner. Your ego will remain unchecked, and the unhealed parts will seep into your next relationship. What we don\\u2019t know about ourselves can hurt us and our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a9cd573\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e90bd95\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c1efa90\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c6d564\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6c3870\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"See it as a vehicle for development\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"26b17e3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThink of this as a mirror to explore what this is in yourself. It\\u2019s as if our partner\\u2019s words, behaviour, or actions have tugged at a vulnerable or sensitive part of us. Be curious about this inside of yourself.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c4aa04f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"887e352\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f407a77\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"20d9ccb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36e603c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Locate your fears\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"b092fd4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fear can hold us in a relationship that we know isn\\u2019t quite right for us.<\\/p><p>Whether it\\u2019s the fear of a breakup, fear of being alone, fear of feeling shame or humiliation of the relationship \\u2018failing\\u2019, Abrahams said to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can solve them another way.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHow much of your fear is a story of fear, as opposed to reality? It can be very helpful to speak to wise people you know in your community or seek help with a therapist to work through your fears and where they come from,\\u201d she advises.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8ff0237\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9868d03\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"adbce57\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dad9d3d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3345d4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Be aware of feeling like you\\u2019re not getting a return on your investment\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"783978e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many people will stay in the relationship purely because they want a return on their investment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe have put our heart and soul into making this work. We\\u2019ve invested financially, years of our lives, our minds, and our love, shared friends and family. We may believe that walking away doesn\\u2019t give us the return on our investment as we wanted.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be a future together, children, a family unit, a home, financial stability, or the extended family and friends we now have together. There can be much to lose that can hold us in our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1245467\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2f3b04d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dfcbec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b439198\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c84fe84\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Don\\u2019t be afraid to disturb the status quo\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a15620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cMany commit to \\u2018the one before the one\\u2019 anyway, as they decide to stay in the relationship rather than disturb the status quo. For many this is a calculation of pros and cons, weighing fears, and also their age and stage of life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome may be fine with this decision, yet others can\\u2019t fully reconcile this decision and create a fantasy of \\u2018the one\\u2019 they\\u2019d like to be with. This could be a figment of their imagination or someone at work or even online.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Typically, Abrahams said this imaginary \\u2018one\\u2019 is different from their partner.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDespite their decision to remain, they live with the gnawing feeling that they made a mistake by settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to find out how your ego can impact your relationship? Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17788,5149,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17789,5149,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17790,5149,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17791,5150,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17792,5150,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17793,5150,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17794,5150,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17795,5150,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-438,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"The Relationship Theory About \\u2018The One after THE ONE\\u2019 That Changes Everything\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You don\\u2019t have to be a fan of\\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians\\u00a0<\\/em>to know all about\\u00a0Kourtney Kardashian\\u2019s recent engagement to Travis Barker. It\\u2019s EVERYWHERE. Mostly because everyone was convinced she would FINALLY end up with\\u00a0Scott Disick.<\\/p><p>ICYMI (where have you been?), the pair shared a rocky as hell relationship for years, and have three kids together.<\\/p><p>She was single; he was single \\u2013 eventually they would get back together and work it all out. No?<\\/p><p>Instead, the eldest Kardashian left the back-and-forth relationship with Disick and found Barker \\u2013 to whom she is now engaged.<\\/p><p>And according to experts, this kind of roadmap is actually quite common in relationships.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that these days we\\u2019re becoming more aware than ever of what we want (and expect) from a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe \\u2018one after the one\\u2019 occurs when we believed that\\u00a0we were with the person we\\u2019d spend the rest of our lives with, and made a declaration to ourselves, our partner, and others,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOver time, we realised that they\\u2019re not actually \\u2018the one\\u2019. A separation occurs, and then we meet someone else, who we now declare is \\u2018the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>By tapping into how we feel with our partner, and being aware of the emotional experiences we want to have in our relationship, Abrahams said this means we are less likely to stay with what doesn\\u2019t actually feel right enough.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us work hard to get the relationship on track and we take our commitment seriously, however, if it isn\\u2019t working to meet enough of our needs, we\\u2019re more able to let it go these days instead of settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>But in order to understand the different factors underlying the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019, we need to first understand why we create \\u2018the one\\u2019\\u00a0in the first place.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, most people create a \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 about their prospective partner at the beginning of their relationship \\u2013 and it\\u2019s during this time that we tend to\\u00a0offer up\\u00a0the best of ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are considerate, well-groomed, interesting, intelligent, and funny. We want them to view us positively and to continue to find us special. We do our best so they consider us worthy of being their \\u2018one\\u2019,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we have an inkling that we may be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 we often assess their qualities rather glowingly. However, we also ignore, dismiss, or downplay information that may not quite fit with the narrative of our prospective partner\\u2019s wonderfulness and specialness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe both do this as we want to get this relationship over the line. The whole future of the relationship depends on this, as no one wants to commit to a \\u2018normal\\u2019 or \\u2018ordinary\\u2019 relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>INTERESTING.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that often the \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 fades, allowing you to become more aware of the emotional experiences that might be lacking.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe thought the lingering looks, acrobatic sex, and interesting discussions would last longer. The life we thought we\\u2019d have together isn\\u2019t quite transpiring. We may feel bored, unseen, undesirable. We may sometimes feel some niggles, or even dread. And these may be communicated to our partner via resentment or criticism.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When this happens, people will then usually end their relationship because it isn\\u2019t honouring what is most important to them in a committed relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThen we meet someone else, and they become special in our eyes. We create another specialness fantasy as, once again, we don\\u2019t want to commit to someone ordinary and we need to create long-term care and safety with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Once we\\u2019re able to find if we\\u2019re in a healthy, reliable relationship with this person, Abraham said we are able to \\u201ccommit to \\u2018the one after the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, does this mean we need to experience relationships that\\u00a0don\\u2019t\\u00a0work for us to understand what we actually want and desire?<\\/p><p>Here, we asked three women who ended up with the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019 to share their stories.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Lana\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAfter years of casual dating through the apps, I met *Ezra in broad daylight in person, which at the time I put down to \\u201cfate\\u201d. He played me hot and cold for months, keeping me at arm\\u2019s length then love bombing me, and I was addicted to the drama of it.<\\/p><p>He brought out a side of me that made me passionate and furious and desperate for his love, and I honestly thought he was the one for me because love meant you had to struggle this hard, and in the end, they would be worth it \\u2013 I\\u2019d have earned him. This kind of love was supposed to be fiery and addictive, right? I thought he was like the unavailable \\u201cBig\\u201d to my \\u201cCarrie\\u201d and we\\u00a0were destined to keep doing this until we settled down.<\\/p><p>He kept saying we were supposed to be together and that he loved me more than any woman he\\u2019d ever dated; that I was different and together we were different \\u2013 he would stop with his previous behaviour and be better for me.<\\/p><p>I eventually discovered that he\\u2019d cheated on me with multiple women and cut all ties with him, which was so painful at first, mostly because it was losing something I\\u2019d worked so hard for\\u2026 but ultimately really empowering, even all these years later. Only a month after that I jumped back on the [dating] apps and met *Joel.<\\/p><p>In Joel\\u2019s company I was the opposite of what I was with Ezra \\u2013 calm and at ease, confident with myself rather than anxious about not being a version of me he wanted. Everything was effortless. I never had to question his feelings, or that we were doing this \\u201cat the right time\\u201d for either of us. After a month we said \\u201cI love you\\u201d (and meant it), and within a year we were engaged.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emma\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I\\u2019m engaged, and my fiance was definitely the one after who I thought was the one! I dated this guy all the way through high school and uni \\u2013 we made it to my final year, doing the long-distance thing and travelling between each other\\u2019s universities (which were on opposite sides of England) every couple of weeks.<\\/p><p>We were together until I was 21 when I found out he\\u2019d been cheating on me the whole time (I would now not recommend long-distance university relationships!). We broke up, I graduated, moved in with my parents for a bit\\u00a0then relocated to London to get a job.<\\/p><p>I moved into a flat with four strangers and eventually ended up going out with one of the guys! We moved into a flat of our own in London, moved to Sydney together in 2017, got engaged in the middle of COVID at the end of last year and (as long as the world stops going mad) will now be getting married in July 2023.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Yvette\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Luke and I started dating when we were in high school \\u2013 he was my first \\u2018proper\\u2019 boyfriend. We shared a lot of the same friends, and after school, we remained in quite a tight-knit group. We dated for almost 10 years before I realised it was no longer the relationship for me.<\\/p><p>He really wanted to settle down, and for me \\u2013 it just didn\\u2019t feel right. I was still young and wanted to have fun. We went on a break and ended up going our separate ways \\u2013 which was hard as we would often still see each other at group events.<\\/p><p>I ended up meeting Aaron a few months after we broke up \\u2013 and it just felt really right. For me, he was definitely the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019. Within a year, we had a baby and got engaged \\u2013 it all just happened so naturally, and everything kind of fell into place. We\\u2019ve now been married for five years and have two kids.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to tell if you\\u2019re with \\u2018the one\\u2019\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Wo-woa-woah! Before you go breaking hearts, read this.<\\/p><p>If you think you might be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 before the one, Abrahams recommends following these six tips...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"40e5298\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af86c6b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"356153a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"448759f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8be43cc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Listen to yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"aecec6a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cImagine dropping a microphone inside your mind and turning the volume up to what your voice is really telling you. How happy are you? How unhappy are you? Is this too far away from what you thought the relationship would be like? How often do the niggles or even dread about the relationship appear?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe honest with yourself. The voice in your head is your ego, and it can harm your couple relationship. Before making the decision to exit, just make sure that your ego is not the cause of your unhappiness.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b5860d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af3248f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ea183a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c274cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1086c27\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Understand the origins\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"abef04f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much of it is about your partner and your relationship? Abraham said we\\u2019re often shaped by previous relationships with parents and other experiences, which shape our expectations and beliefs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome of these experiences remain unhealed or unresolved inside us, and we see the problem as emanating from our partner, not ourselves. This is linked to our ego. Our ego can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations, whilst making ourselves faultless.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you find any of this is familiar, get help from a therapist to sort this out before you decide to leave your partner. Your ego will remain unchecked, and the unhealed parts will seep into your next relationship. What we don\\u2019t know about ourselves can hurt us and our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a9cd573\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e90bd95\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c1efa90\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c6d564\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6c3870\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"See it as a vehicle for development\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"26b17e3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThink of this as a mirror to explore what this is in yourself. It\\u2019s as if our partner\\u2019s words, behaviour, or actions have tugged at a vulnerable or sensitive part of us. Be curious about this inside of yourself.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c4aa04f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"887e352\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f407a77\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"20d9ccb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36e603c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Locate your fears\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"b092fd4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fear can hold us in a relationship that we know isn\\u2019t quite right for us.<\\/p><p>Whether it\\u2019s the fear of a breakup, fear of being alone, fear of feeling shame or humiliation of the relationship \\u2018failing\\u2019, Abrahams said to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can solve them another way.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHow much of your fear is a story of fear, as opposed to reality? It can be very helpful to speak to wise people you know in your community or seek help with a therapist to work through your fears and where they come from,\\u201d she advises.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8ff0237\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9868d03\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"adbce57\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dad9d3d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3345d4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Be aware of feeling like you\\u2019re not getting a return on your investment\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"783978e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many people will stay in the relationship purely because they want a return on their investment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe have put our heart and soul into making this work. We\\u2019ve invested financially, years of our lives, our minds, and our love, shared friends and family. We may believe that walking away doesn\\u2019t give us the return on our investment as we wanted.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be a future together, children, a family unit, a home, financial stability, or the extended family and friends we now have together. There can be much to lose that can hold us in our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1245467\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2f3b04d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dfcbec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b439198\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c84fe84\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Don\\u2019t be afraid to disturb the status quo\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a15620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cMany commit to \\u2018the one before the one\\u2019 anyway, as they decide to stay in the relationship rather than disturb the status quo. For many this is a calculation of pros and cons, weighing fears, and also their age and stage of life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome may be fine with this decision, yet others can\\u2019t fully reconcile this decision and create a fantasy of \\u2018the one\\u2019 they\\u2019d like to be with. This could be a figment of their imagination or someone at work or even online.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Typically, Abrahams said this imaginary \\u2018one\\u2019 is different from their partner.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDespite their decision to remain, they live with the gnawing feeling that they made a mistake by settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to find out how your ego can impact your relationship? Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17796,5150,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17797,5150,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17798,5150,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17799,5151,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17800,5151,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17801,5151,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17802,5151,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17803,5151,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-438,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"The Relationship Theory About \\u2018The One after THE ONE\\u2019 That Changes Everything\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>You don\\u2019t have to be a fan of\\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians\\u00a0<\\/em>to know all about\\u00a0Kourtney Kardashian\\u2019s recent engagement to Travis Barker. It\\u2019s EVERYWHERE. Mostly because everyone was convinced she would FINALLY end up with\\u00a0Scott Disick.<\\/p><p>ICYMI (where have you been?), the pair shared a rocky as hell relationship for years, and have three kids together.<\\/p><p>She was single; he was single \\u2013 eventually they would get back together and work it all out. No?<\\/p><p>Instead, the eldest Kardashian left the back-and-forth relationship with Disick and found Barker \\u2013 to whom she is now engaged.<\\/p><p>And according to experts, this kind of roadmap is actually quite common in relationships.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that these days we\\u2019re becoming more aware than ever of what we want (and expect) from a relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe \\u2018one after the one\\u2019 occurs when we believed that\\u00a0we were with the person we\\u2019d spend the rest of our lives with, and made a declaration to ourselves, our partner, and others,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cOver time, we realised that they\\u2019re not actually \\u2018the one\\u2019. A separation occurs, and then we meet someone else, who we now declare is \\u2018the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>By tapping into how we feel with our partner, and being aware of the emotional experiences we want to have in our relationship, Abrahams said this means we are less likely to stay with what doesn\\u2019t actually feel right enough.<\\/p><p>\\u201cMany of us work hard to get the relationship on track and we take our commitment seriously, however, if it isn\\u2019t working to meet enough of our needs, we\\u2019re more able to let it go these days instead of settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>But in order to understand the different factors underlying the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019, we need to first understand why we create \\u2018the one\\u2019\\u00a0in the first place.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, most people create a \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 about their prospective partner at the beginning of their relationship \\u2013 and it\\u2019s during this time that we tend to\\u00a0offer up\\u00a0the best of ourselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe are considerate, well-groomed, interesting, intelligent, and funny. We want them to view us positively and to continue to find us special. We do our best so they consider us worthy of being their \\u2018one\\u2019,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we have an inkling that we may be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 we often assess their qualities rather glowingly. However, we also ignore, dismiss, or downplay information that may not quite fit with the narrative of our prospective partner\\u2019s wonderfulness and specialness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe both do this as we want to get this relationship over the line. The whole future of the relationship depends on this, as no one wants to commit to a \\u2018normal\\u2019 or \\u2018ordinary\\u2019 relationship.\\u201d<\\/p><p>INTERESTING.<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that often the \\u2018specialness fantasy\\u2019 fades, allowing you to become more aware of the emotional experiences that might be lacking.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe thought the lingering looks, acrobatic sex, and interesting discussions would last longer. The life we thought we\\u2019d have together isn\\u2019t quite transpiring. We may feel bored, unseen, undesirable. We may sometimes feel some niggles, or even dread. And these may be communicated to our partner via resentment or criticism.\\u201d<\\/p><p>When this happens, people will then usually end their relationship because it isn\\u2019t honouring what is most important to them in a committed relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThen we meet someone else, and they become special in our eyes. We create another specialness fantasy as, once again, we don\\u2019t want to commit to someone ordinary and we need to create long-term care and safety with them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Once we\\u2019re able to find if we\\u2019re in a healthy, reliable relationship with this person, Abraham said we are able to \\u201ccommit to \\u2018the one after the one\\u2019.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, does this mean we need to experience relationships that\\u00a0don\\u2019t\\u00a0work for us to understand what we actually want and desire?<\\/p><p>Here, we asked three women who ended up with the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019 to share their stories.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Lana\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cAfter years of casual dating through the apps, I met *Ezra in broad daylight in person, which at the time I put down to \\u201cfate\\u201d. He played me hot and cold for months, keeping me at arm\\u2019s length then love bombing me, and I was addicted to the drama of it.<\\/p><p>He brought out a side of me that made me passionate and furious and desperate for his love, and I honestly thought he was the one for me because love meant you had to struggle this hard, and in the end, they would be worth it \\u2013 I\\u2019d have earned him. This kind of love was supposed to be fiery and addictive, right? I thought he was like the unavailable \\u201cBig\\u201d to my \\u201cCarrie\\u201d and we\\u00a0were destined to keep doing this until we settled down.<\\/p><p>He kept saying we were supposed to be together and that he loved me more than any woman he\\u2019d ever dated; that I was different and together we were different \\u2013 he would stop with his previous behaviour and be better for me.<\\/p><p>I eventually discovered that he\\u2019d cheated on me with multiple women and cut all ties with him, which was so painful at first, mostly because it was losing something I\\u2019d worked so hard for\\u2026 but ultimately really empowering, even all these years later. Only a month after that I jumped back on the [dating] apps and met *Joel.<\\/p><p>In Joel\\u2019s company I was the opposite of what I was with Ezra \\u2013 calm and at ease, confident with myself rather than anxious about not being a version of me he wanted. Everything was effortless. I never had to question his feelings, or that we were doing this \\u201cat the right time\\u201d for either of us. After a month we said \\u201cI love you\\u201d (and meant it), and within a year we were engaged.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Emma\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I\\u2019m engaged, and my fiance was definitely the one after who I thought was the one! I dated this guy all the way through high school and uni \\u2013 we made it to my final year, doing the long-distance thing and travelling between each other\\u2019s universities (which were on opposite sides of England) every couple of weeks.<\\/p><p>We were together until I was 21 when I found out he\\u2019d been cheating on me the whole time (I would now not recommend long-distance university relationships!). We broke up, I graduated, moved in with my parents for a bit\\u00a0then relocated to London to get a job.<\\/p><p>I moved into a flat with four strangers and eventually ended up going out with one of the guys! We moved into a flat of our own in London, moved to Sydney together in 2017, got engaged in the middle of COVID at the end of last year and (as long as the world stops going mad) will now be getting married in July 2023.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Yvette\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Luke and I started dating when we were in high school \\u2013 he was my first \\u2018proper\\u2019 boyfriend. We shared a lot of the same friends, and after school, we remained in quite a tight-knit group. We dated for almost 10 years before I realised it was no longer the relationship for me.<\\/p><p>He really wanted to settle down, and for me \\u2013 it just didn\\u2019t feel right. I was still young and wanted to have fun. We went on a break and ended up going our separate ways \\u2013 which was hard as we would often still see each other at group events.<\\/p><p>I ended up meeting Aaron a few months after we broke up \\u2013 and it just felt really right. For me, he was definitely the one after \\u2018the one\\u2019. Within a year, we had a baby and got engaged \\u2013 it all just happened so naturally, and everything kind of fell into place. We\\u2019ve now been married for five years and have two kids.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How to tell if you\\u2019re with \\u2018the one\\u2019\\n\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Wo-woa-woah! Before you go breaking hearts, read this.<\\/p><p>If you think you might be with \\u2018the one\\u2019 before the one, Abrahams recommends following these six tips...<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"40e5298\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af86c6b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"356153a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"448759f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8be43cc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Listen to yourself\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"aecec6a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cImagine dropping a microphone inside your mind and turning the volume up to what your voice is really telling you. How happy are you? How unhappy are you? Is this too far away from what you thought the relationship would be like? How often do the niggles or even dread about the relationship appear?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cBe honest with yourself. The voice in your head is your ego, and it can harm your couple relationship. Before making the decision to exit, just make sure that your ego is not the cause of your unhappiness.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b5860d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"af3248f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ea183a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c274cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1086c27\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Understand the origins\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"abef04f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>How much of it is about your partner and your relationship? Abraham said we\\u2019re often shaped by previous relationships with parents and other experiences, which shape our expectations and beliefs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome of these experiences remain unhealed or unresolved inside us, and we see the problem as emanating from our partner, not ourselves. This is linked to our ego. Our ego can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations, whilst making ourselves faultless.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you find any of this is familiar, get help from a therapist to sort this out before you decide to leave your partner. Your ego will remain unchecked, and the unhealed parts will seep into your next relationship. What we don\\u2019t know about ourselves can hurt us and our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a9cd573\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e90bd95\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c1efa90\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0c6d564\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6c3870\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"See it as a vehicle for development\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"26b17e3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cThink of this as a mirror to explore what this is in yourself. It\\u2019s as if our partner\\u2019s words, behaviour, or actions have tugged at a vulnerable or sensitive part of us. Be curious about this inside of yourself.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c4aa04f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"887e352\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f407a77\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"20d9ccb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36e603c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Locate your fears\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"b092fd4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fear can hold us in a relationship that we know isn\\u2019t quite right for us.<\\/p><p>Whether it\\u2019s the fear of a breakup, fear of being alone, fear of feeling shame or humiliation of the relationship \\u2018failing\\u2019, Abrahams said to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can solve them another way.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHow much of your fear is a story of fear, as opposed to reality? It can be very helpful to speak to wise people you know in your community or seek help with a therapist to work through your fears and where they come from,\\u201d she advises.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8ff0237\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9868d03\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"adbce57\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dad9d3d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d3345d4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Be aware of feeling like you\\u2019re not getting a return on your investment\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"783978e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many people will stay in the relationship purely because they want a return on their investment.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe have put our heart and soul into making this work. We\\u2019ve invested financially, years of our lives, our minds, and our love, shared friends and family. We may believe that walking away doesn\\u2019t give us the return on our investment as we wanted.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be a future together, children, a family unit, a home, financial stability, or the extended family and friends we now have together. There can be much to lose that can hold us in our relationship.\\u201d<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1245467\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2f3b04d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10.6839999999999992752464095246978104114532470703125},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dfcbec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b439198\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":89.316000000000002501110429875552654266357421875},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c84fe84\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Don\\u2019t be afraid to disturb the status quo\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"17\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a15620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cMany commit to \\u2018the one before the one\\u2019 anyway, as they decide to stay in the relationship rather than disturb the status quo. For many this is a calculation of pros and cons, weighing fears, and also their age and stage of life.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome may be fine with this decision, yet others can\\u2019t fully reconcile this decision and create a fantasy of \\u2018the one\\u2019 they\\u2019d like to be with. This could be a figment of their imagination or someone at work or even online.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Typically, Abrahams said this imaginary \\u2018one\\u2019 is different from their partner.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDespite their decision to remain, they live with the gnawing feeling that they made a mistake by settling.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to find out how your ego can impact your relationship? 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href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/how-our-ego-harms-couple-relationships\\/\\\"><strong>here<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"10\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17804,5151,'_thumbnail_id','4999'),(17805,5151,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17806,5151,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17807,5105,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:7:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:23;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:23;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:17;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:2:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}s:17:\"section_structure\";a:1:{s:9:\"structure\";i:6;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:6;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:10;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:10;s:11:\"header_size\";i:10;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:10;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:19:\"section_title_style\";a:1:{s:11:\"title_color\";i:6;}}}}s:5:\"image\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:6;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_image\";a:1:{s:5:\"image\";i:6;}}}}}'),(17808,5152,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17809,5152,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17810,5152,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17811,5152,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17812,5152,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"center 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- source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"10 Signs You and Your Partner are \\u2018Fake Happy\\u2019 in Your Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your\\u00a0relationship. Are you\\u2026 happy in it? Don\\u2019t give us that look, we\\u2019re only asking!<\\/p><p>Cause y\\u2019see, when you\\u2019ve been with someone for a while, it\\u2019s normal that the mere thought of breaking it off makes you feel sick\\/scared\\/confused.<\\/p><p>And while that\\u2019s a really beautiful thing in itself,\\u00a0it can also be dangerous.<\\/p><p>Because becoming so attached to someone can 100 per cent cloud your judgement, making it tricky to notice parts of your relationship that are honestly really quite s**t.<\\/p><p>Maybe it\\u2019s the fact your partner still can\\u2019t get along with your friends, but you feel too nervous about confronting the issue (again). Or perhaps it\\u2019s their lack of drive that\\u2019s making you feel uneasy \\u2013 but you don\\u2019t quite know how to bring it up.<\\/p><p>So then it\\u2019s just\\u2026 left by the wayside.<\\/p><p>The reality is that many couples stick together even though they\\u2019re unhappy. They\\u2019ve got kids. It\\u2019s convenient. You don\\u2019t want anyone to get hurt. There\\u2019s all kinds of reasons people in long-term relationships hang in there.<\\/p><p>The problem is, though, staying in an unhappy relationship can take its toll on your physical and mental health. It also prevents you and your partner from moving forward into a happier life.<\\/p><p>With that in mind, we asked couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to share the top signs couples are faking happiness in their relationship. Here\\u2019s what she had to say.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Use of denial\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Use of projection\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Rationalising or making excuses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Use of intellectualisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Use of sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Compartmentalisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. Reaction formation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Dissociation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Creating distance with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Has the whole flirting and touching thing become a thing of the past?<\\/p><p>When we\\u2019re putting on our \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 couple act, Abrahams said you may create distance with your partner at home by:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"365d681\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e61229\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f29ace8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li><strong>Creating physical ailments so they don\\u2019t come too close or make a bid for physical intimacy.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cIt\\u2019s the old joke of \\u201cNot tonight, I\\u2019ve got a headache\\u201d \\u2013 but we can\\u2019t have a headache every night, so we then focus on our neck, back, or foot. We struggle to be close to someone we believe is making us unhappy.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Investing heavily in the children or family unit to avoid being alone with our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThis could be seen by not going away alone together as we \\u201cdon\\u2019t want to leave the children\\u201d.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Scrapping dates.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cAvoiding date nights alone and making sure other friends or family are there.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Initiating fights to create distance.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cPartners reduce the chance of intimacy by making the atmosphere more disconnecting.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Frequently expressing resentment, blame or being critical of our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cWe all know these are particularly\\u00a0unattractive behaviours, but they work if we want to keep our partner from wanting intimacy or closeness with us. They also show our partner some of our unhappiness but don\\u2019t address the real cause or allow development.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. Seeking validation elsewhere\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, people who are \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 may seek validation from others that they are okay, as they don\\u2019t feel okay in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be with friends or even strangers, to answer some of our fears of whether we are attractive, intelligent, or interesting enough anymore to others as we may not feel this in ourselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ultimate fantasy of validation is having an emotional or sexual affair.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for more relationship advice, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\">here<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17813,5152,'_thumbnail_id','4992'),(17814,5152,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17815,5152,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17816,5153,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17817,5153,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17818,5153,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17819,5153,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17820,5153,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"center center\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-315,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"10 Signs You and Your Partner are \\u2018Fake Happy\\u2019 in Your Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your\\u00a0relationship. Are you\\u2026 happy in it? Don\\u2019t give us that look, we\\u2019re only asking!<\\/p><p>Cause y\\u2019see, when you\\u2019ve been with someone for a while, it\\u2019s normal that the mere thought of breaking it off makes you feel sick\\/scared\\/confused.<\\/p><p>And while that\\u2019s a really beautiful thing in itself,\\u00a0it can also be dangerous.<\\/p><p>Because becoming so attached to someone can 100 per cent cloud your judgement, making it tricky to notice parts of your relationship that are honestly really quite s**t.<\\/p><p>Maybe it\\u2019s the fact your partner still can\\u2019t get along with your friends, but you feel too nervous about confronting the issue (again). Or perhaps it\\u2019s their lack of drive that\\u2019s making you feel uneasy \\u2013 but you don\\u2019t quite know how to bring it up.<\\/p><p>So then it\\u2019s just\\u2026 left by the wayside.<\\/p><p>The reality is that many couples stick together even though they\\u2019re unhappy. They\\u2019ve got kids. It\\u2019s convenient. You don\\u2019t want anyone to get hurt. There\\u2019s all kinds of reasons people in long-term relationships hang in there.<\\/p><p>The problem is, though, staying in an unhappy relationship can take its toll on your physical and mental health. It also prevents you and your partner from moving forward into a happier life.<\\/p><p>With that in mind, we asked couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to share the top signs couples are faking happiness in their relationship. Here\\u2019s what she had to say.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Use of denial\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Use of projection\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Rationalising or making excuses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Use of intellectualisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Use of sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Compartmentalisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. Reaction formation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Dissociation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Creating distance with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Has the whole flirting and touching thing become a thing of the past?<\\/p><p>When we\\u2019re putting on our \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 couple act, Abrahams said you may create distance with your partner at home by:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"365d681\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e61229\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f29ace8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li><strong>Creating physical ailments so they don\\u2019t come too close or make a bid for physical intimacy.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cIt\\u2019s the old joke of \\u201cNot tonight, I\\u2019ve got a headache\\u201d \\u2013 but we can\\u2019t have a headache every night, so we then focus on our neck, back, or foot. We struggle to be close to someone we believe is making us unhappy.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Investing heavily in the children or family unit to avoid being alone with our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThis could be seen by not going away alone together as we \\u201cdon\\u2019t want to leave the children\\u201d.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Scrapping dates.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cAvoiding date nights alone and making sure other friends or family are there.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Initiating fights to create distance.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cPartners reduce the chance of intimacy by making the atmosphere more disconnecting.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Frequently expressing resentment, blame or being critical of our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cWe all know these are particularly\\u00a0unattractive behaviours, but they work if we want to keep our partner from wanting intimacy or closeness with us. They also show our partner some of our unhappiness but don\\u2019t address the real cause or allow development.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. Seeking validation elsewhere\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, people who are \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 may seek validation from others that they are okay, as they don\\u2019t feel okay in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be with friends or even strangers, to answer some of our fears of whether we are attractive, intelligent, or interesting enough anymore to others as we may not feel this in ourselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ultimate fantasy of validation is having an emotional or sexual affair.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for more relationship advice, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\">here<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17821,5153,'_thumbnail_id','4992'),(17822,5153,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17823,5153,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17824,5154,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17825,5154,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17826,5154,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(17827,5154,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17828,5154,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/08\\/couple-on-a-beach-scaled-e1661425844544.jpg\",\"id\":4992,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-207,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"10 Signs You and Your Partner are \\u2018Fake Happy\\u2019 in Your Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your\\u00a0relationship. Are you\\u2026 happy in it? Don\\u2019t give us that look, we\\u2019re only asking!<\\/p><p>Cause y\\u2019see, when you\\u2019ve been with someone for a while, it\\u2019s normal that the mere thought of breaking it off makes you feel sick\\/scared\\/confused.<\\/p><p>And while that\\u2019s a really beautiful thing in itself,\\u00a0it can also be dangerous.<\\/p><p>Because becoming so attached to someone can 100 per cent cloud your judgement, making it tricky to notice parts of your relationship that are honestly really quite s**t.<\\/p><p>Maybe it\\u2019s the fact your partner still can\\u2019t get along with your friends, but you feel too nervous about confronting the issue (again). Or perhaps it\\u2019s their lack of drive that\\u2019s making you feel uneasy \\u2013 but you don\\u2019t quite know how to bring it up.<\\/p><p>So then it\\u2019s just\\u2026 left by the wayside.<\\/p><p>The reality is that many couples stick together even though they\\u2019re unhappy. They\\u2019ve got kids. It\\u2019s convenient. You don\\u2019t want anyone to get hurt. There\\u2019s all kinds of reasons people in long-term relationships hang in there.<\\/p><p>The problem is, though, staying in an unhappy relationship can take its toll on your physical and mental health. It also prevents you and your partner from moving forward into a happier life.<\\/p><p>With that in mind, we asked couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to share the top signs couples are faking happiness in their relationship. Here\\u2019s what she had to say.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Use of denial\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Use of projection\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Rationalising or making excuses\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Use of intellectualisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Use of sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Compartmentalisation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. Reaction formation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Dissociation\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Creating distance with your partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Has the whole flirting and touching thing become a thing of the past?<\\/p><p>When we\\u2019re putting on our \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 couple act, Abrahams said you may create distance with your partner at home by:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"365d681\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e61229\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f29ace8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li><strong>Creating physical ailments so they don\\u2019t come too close or make a bid for physical intimacy.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cIt\\u2019s the old joke of \\u201cNot tonight, I\\u2019ve got a headache\\u201d \\u2013 but we can\\u2019t have a headache every night, so we then focus on our neck, back, or foot. We struggle to be close to someone we believe is making us unhappy.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Investing heavily in the children or family unit to avoid being alone with our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThis could be seen by not going away alone together as we \\u201cdon\\u2019t want to leave the children\\u201d.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Scrapping dates.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cAvoiding date nights alone and making sure other friends or family are there.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Initiating fights to create distance.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cPartners reduce the chance of intimacy by making the atmosphere more disconnecting.\\u201d<\\/li><li><strong>Frequently expressing resentment, blame or being critical of our partner.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cWe all know these are particularly\\u00a0unattractive behaviours, but they work if we want to keep our partner from wanting intimacy or closeness with us. They also show our partner some of our unhappiness but don\\u2019t address the real cause or allow development.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. Seeking validation elsewhere\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, people who are \\u2018fake happy\\u2019 may seek validation from others that they are okay, as they don\\u2019t feel okay in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis could be with friends or even strangers, to answer some of our fears of whether we are attractive, intelligent, or interesting enough anymore to others as we may not feel this in ourselves.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe ultimate fantasy of validation is having an emotional or sexual affair.\\u201d<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019re looking for more relationship advice, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication\\/\\\">here<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17829,5154,'_thumbnail_id','4992'),(17830,5154,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17831,5154,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17832,4991,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:24;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:24;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:24;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:6:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:10;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:10;s:11:\"header_size\";i:10;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:10;}}}}}'),(17833,5155,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17834,5155,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17835,5155,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17836,5155,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17837,5155,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"center 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Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"15 Things Your Partner Will Never Do If You Are in a Healthy Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"9 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships\\u00a0can be TOUGH. And while things like cheating and trust issues are some very obvious red flags that things are not<em>\\u00a0great<\\/em>, experts say there are also some smaller things that can give you an idea of just\\u00a0how healthy your relationship is.<\\/p><p>And while these little things are really important for a healthy relationship, it\'s also critical you don\'t ignore small\\u00a0signs of disrespect.<\\/p><p>To find out what some of these signs are, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>, and asked her to tell us 15 things your partner won\'t do if you\'re in a healthy relationship.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. They never impose their struggles on to you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. They never block the potential to improve your relationship\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. They\'re never controlling\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. They never pick apart your appearance\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. They never disrespect you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. They never minimise or dismiss your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. They never discourage you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. They respect your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. They pull their weight at home\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If your partner really loves you, you\'ll work as a team.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never make you do all the housework. They understand they produce mess and dirt and that they are part of the tidying and cleaning solution with you.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\'ll also never assume it is your role to solely look after the kids, and understand that they need to participate and share the load, even if you do\\u00a0take on more of this than them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. They don\'t try to control your finances\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\'re just going to be straight up with this one: Your partner should never control your finances - unless you have a gambling problem or an addiction to spending.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will understand that we all have a different relationship with money, and we need to discuss and set boundaries together that we both adhere to \\u2013 for the greater good,\\\" said Abrahams. \\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. They never criticise your body\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While there\\u2019s nothing wrong with being with someone who encourages you to be the healthiest version of yourself, there\'s a line between wanting the best for someone and criticising their lifestyle choices.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because if this kind of criticism is constant, it\'ll end up making you feel sh*tty about yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never ask you to lose weight for them. They understand that bodies change throughout life and that neither of us are likely to be the size or shape we were when we met,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. They understand physical boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important one? Boundaries. Especially physical boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never touch your body in a way you don\\u2019t want once you have told them. They will remember that your body boundary is important and that to push their sexual agenda onto you is disrespectful and will breed a lack of trust in them.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1665e80\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"41fb984\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"46a2f02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"13. They never dismiss your career\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fa06281\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c8863cb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2409162\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A partner who loves and respects you will be your number one supporter. They\'ll push you to challenge yourself and aim for big goals - not dismiss them as silly or unrealistic.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never disregard your career as unimportant after having children. They will want to participate in discussions and support you to get you back to work when you are ready\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if this does not align with their opinion on this,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2ab3156\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"698a34d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35411ee\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"14. The would never mentally  or physically harm you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"122946a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ce71b35\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22e8e9f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is one is crucial. A good partner will always be able to recognise their self worth without attempting to place anyone (you) below them, or break someone else\'s self-confidence.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never raise their hand or harm you or verbally abuse you,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that they\'re upset or angry feelings should not be taken out on you.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"92283ee\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2883586\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3ee5e70\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"15. They don\'t compare you to other people\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9c2419\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9a4764d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f8c0331\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A good partner will never compare you to other people or make you alter your behaviour \\\"when their past experiences have left a mark on them\\\".\\u00a0<\\/p><p>For example, if they have been cheated on in a past relationship and they struggle with trust, a good partner will not make you responsible for this and understand they need to work on this inside of themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they would not ask you to repeatedly text them when you\\u2019re out without them and they don\\u2019t put limits on who you can and cannot speak to when you\\u2019re at a party.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you\'re looking for help in improving your relationship with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/5-mistakes-couples-make\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you or a loved one is experiencing family violence, support is available. Call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit the website to chat online.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you are concerned about your behaviour within a relationship, call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find a service near you.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17838,5155,'_thumbnail_id','4342'),(17839,5155,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17840,5155,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17841,5155,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1660106582;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17842,5156,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17843,5156,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17844,5156,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17845,5156,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17846,5156,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"center center\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-315,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"15 Things Your Partner Will Never Do If You Are in a Healthy Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"15 Things Your Partner Will Never Do If You Are in a Healthy Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"9 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships\\u00a0can be TOUGH. And while things like cheating and trust issues are some very obvious red flags that things are not<em>\\u00a0great<\\/em>, experts say there are also some smaller things that can give you an idea of just\\u00a0how healthy your relationship is.<\\/p><p>And while these little things are really important for a healthy relationship, it\'s also critical you don\'t ignore small\\u00a0signs of disrespect.<\\/p><p>To find out what some of these signs are, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>, and asked her to tell us 15 things your partner won\'t do if you\'re in a healthy relationship.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. They never impose their struggles on to you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. They never block the potential to improve your relationship\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. They\'re never controlling\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. They never pick apart your appearance\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. They never disrespect you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. They never minimise or dismiss your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. They never discourage you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. They respect your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. They pull their weight at home\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If your partner really loves you, you\'ll work as a team.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never make you do all the housework. They understand they produce mess and dirt and that they are part of the tidying and cleaning solution with you.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\'ll also never assume it is your role to solely look after the kids, and understand that they need to participate and share the load, even if you do\\u00a0take on more of this than them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. They don\'t try to control your finances\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\'re just going to be straight up with this one: Your partner should never control your finances - unless you have a gambling problem or an addiction to spending.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will understand that we all have a different relationship with money, and we need to discuss and set boundaries together that we both adhere to \\u2013 for the greater good,\\\" said Abrahams. \\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. They never criticise your body\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While there\\u2019s nothing wrong with being with someone who encourages you to be the healthiest version of yourself, there\'s a line between wanting the best for someone and criticising their lifestyle choices.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because if this kind of criticism is constant, it\'ll end up making you feel sh*tty about yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never ask you to lose weight for them. They understand that bodies change throughout life and that neither of us are likely to be the size or shape we were when we met,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. They understand physical boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important one? Boundaries. Especially physical boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never touch your body in a way you don\\u2019t want once you have told them. They will remember that your body boundary is important and that to push their sexual agenda onto you is disrespectful and will breed a lack of trust in them.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1665e80\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"41fb984\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"46a2f02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"13. They never dismiss your career\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fa06281\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c8863cb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2409162\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A partner who loves and respects you will be your number one supporter. They\'ll push you to challenge yourself and aim for big goals - not dismiss them as silly or unrealistic.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never disregard your career as unimportant after having children. They will want to participate in discussions and support you to get you back to work when you are ready\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if this does not align with their opinion on this,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2ab3156\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"698a34d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35411ee\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"14. The would never mentally  or physically harm you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"122946a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ce71b35\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22e8e9f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is one is crucial. A good partner will always be able to recognise their self worth without attempting to place anyone (you) below them, or break someone else\'s self-confidence.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never raise their hand or harm you or verbally abuse you,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that they\'re upset or angry feelings should not be taken out on you.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"92283ee\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2883586\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3ee5e70\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"15. They don\'t compare you to other people\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9c2419\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9a4764d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f8c0331\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A good partner will never compare you to other people or make you alter your behaviour \\\"when their past experiences have left a mark on them\\\".\\u00a0<\\/p><p>For example, if they have been cheated on in a past relationship and they struggle with trust, a good partner will not make you responsible for this and understand they need to work on this inside of themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they would not ask you to repeatedly text them when you\\u2019re out without them and they don\\u2019t put limits on who you can and cannot speak to when you\\u2019re at a party.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you\'re looking for help in improving your relationship with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/5-mistakes-couples-make\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you or a loved one is experiencing family violence, support is available. Call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit the website to chat online.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you are concerned about your behaviour within a relationship, call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find a service near you.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17847,5156,'_thumbnail_id','4342'),(17848,5156,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17849,5156,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17850,5156,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1660106582;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17851,5157,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17852,5157,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17853,5157,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17854,5157,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17855,5157,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"center center\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-315,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"15 Things Your Partner Will Never Do If You Are in a Healthy Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"9 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Relationships\\u00a0can be TOUGH. And while things like cheating and trust issues are some very obvious red flags that things are not<em>\\u00a0great<\\/em>, experts say there are also some smaller things that can give you an idea of just\\u00a0how healthy your relationship is.<\\/p><p>And while these little things are really important for a healthy relationship, it\'s also critical you don\'t ignore small\\u00a0signs of disrespect.<\\/p><p>To find out what some of these signs are, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>, and asked her to tell us 15 things your partner won\'t do if you\'re in a healthy relationship.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. They never impose their struggles on to you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If someone really loves you, they\\u2019ll always be there for you - through thick and thin. However, Abrahams reminds us that\\u00a0it\'s important your partner doesn\'t rely on you to fill a gap missing in themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never impose their mental health struggles onto you, as they recognise that by looking after themselves and receiving professional help, they are also looking after you and the relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner knows it\\u2019s not your responsibility to \'fix\' them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. They never block the potential to improve your relationship\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>No matter how good your relationship is, there\'s always going to be arguments - but what matters is how you deal with them. Your partner should always put the needs of the relationship first, and want to talk through issues rather than leaving things to fester in the dark.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner never says \'no\' to you when you want to go to couples therapy. I have seen the damage that this causes when partners say no and block their potential to develop. This causes more conflict between partners and prevents happiness being created in their relationship,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. They\'re never controlling\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If you\'re in a healthy relationship, you should have room for spending time with family and friends. A partner who loves and respects you won\'t monopolise your time or keep you to themselves. You should never feel restricted for seeing people outside of your relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your partner should understand that you are a separate individual with your own mind and desires and these need to be respected. Some examples: If you want to see friends, they encourage you to go and\\u00a0don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you cancel to stay home with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0make you eat food you don\\u2019t want in your body. They don\\u2019t try to guilt or manipulate you to get their way, or force their life view on to you.\\\" \\u00a0\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. They never pick apart your appearance\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should also never take jabs at your appearance, lower your self-confidence or make you feel bad about yourself. It\'s a d**k move and a sign of a bad relationship.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never suggest you need anti-wrinkle injections, fillers, or plastic surgery,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that your body is great the way it is, and it is yours. They respect that it\\u2019s not their body to meddle with for their own sake or pleasure.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. They never disrespect you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It may sound simple, but this is one that\'s often overlooked.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never use you to make other people jealous or score points with others. If they ask you to wear particularly\\u00a0revealing clothing or ask you to perform in a particular way to bolster their own standing in the eyes of others, then this is a misuse of you. It\\u2019s narcissistic.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. They never minimise or dismiss your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner should understand how important it is to listen to how you\'re feeling. You should never feel that they avoid important conversations -\\u00a0rather, seek them out and approach them with respect.<\\/p><p>\\\"They also understand that listening and wanting to know how you feel is important for creating psychological safety in a relationship,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. They never discourage you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the best signs of a person\'s confidence is their ability to help support the ambitions of others.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said a good partner will never discourage your psychological, educational, or physical development, nor stand in the way of you accessing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will see that your wellbeing and development is a good thing for you and will offer support to help you facilitate your experience, such as offering financial support or taking the children that day.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. They respect your feelings\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whenever you feel like\\u00a0you need to prove your worth in a relationship, this isn\'t a good sign. \\\"A good partner will never forget that you are an asset in their lives and worthy of protecting you and the relationship,\\\" reminds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that being with you is a privilege and not a right\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if you have tricky bits,\\\" she adds.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they don\\u2019t forget you and the relationship and step over your agreed upon couple boundaries when they are out for a night drinking with their mates.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. They pull their weight at home\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If your partner really loves you, you\'ll work as a team.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never make you do all the housework. They understand they produce mess and dirt and that they are part of the tidying and cleaning solution with you.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\'ll also never assume it is your role to solely look after the kids, and understand that they need to participate and share the load, even if you do\\u00a0take on more of this than them.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. They don\'t try to control your finances\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We\'re just going to be straight up with this one: Your partner should never control your finances - unless you have a gambling problem or an addiction to spending.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"They will understand that we all have a different relationship with money, and we need to discuss and set boundaries together that we both adhere to \\u2013 for the greater good,\\\" said Abrahams. \\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. They never criticise your body\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While there\\u2019s nothing wrong with being with someone who encourages you to be the healthiest version of yourself, there\'s a line between wanting the best for someone and criticising their lifestyle choices.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Because if this kind of criticism is constant, it\'ll end up making you feel sh*tty about yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never ask you to lose weight for them. They understand that bodies change throughout life and that neither of us are likely to be the size or shape we were when we met,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. They understand physical boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Another important one? Boundaries. Especially physical boundaries.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never touch your body in a way you don\\u2019t want once you have told them. They will remember that your body boundary is important and that to push their sexual agenda onto you is disrespectful and will breed a lack of trust in them.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1665e80\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"41fb984\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"46a2f02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"13. They never dismiss your career\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fa06281\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c8863cb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2409162\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A partner who loves and respects you will be your number one supporter. They\'ll push you to challenge yourself and aim for big goals - not dismiss them as silly or unrealistic.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never disregard your career as unimportant after having children. They will want to participate in discussions and support you to get you back to work when you are ready\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if this does not align with their opinion on this,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2ab3156\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"698a34d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35411ee\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"14. The would never mentally  or physically harm you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"122946a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ce71b35\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22e8e9f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is one is crucial. A good partner will always be able to recognise their self worth without attempting to place anyone (you) below them, or break someone else\'s self-confidence.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never raise their hand or harm you or verbally abuse you,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that they\'re upset or angry feelings should not be taken out on you.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"92283ee\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2883586\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3ee5e70\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"15. They don\'t compare you to other people\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9c2419\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9a4764d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f8c0331\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A good partner will never compare you to other people or make you alter your behaviour \\\"when their past experiences have left a mark on them\\\".\\u00a0<\\/p><p>For example, if they have been cheated on in a past relationship and they struggle with trust, a good partner will not make you responsible for this and understand they need to work on this inside of themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they would not ask you to repeatedly text them when you\\u2019re out without them and they don\\u2019t put limits on who you can and cannot speak to when you\\u2019re at a party.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you\'re looking for help in improving your relationship with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/5-mistakes-couples-make\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you or a loved one is experiencing family violence, support is available. Call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit the website to chat online.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you are concerned about your behaviour within a relationship, call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find a service near you.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17856,5157,'_thumbnail_id','4342'),(17857,5157,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17858,5157,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17859,5157,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1660106582;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17860,4341,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:33;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:6:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:16;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:16;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:15;s:11:\"header_size\";i:15;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:15;}}}}}'),(17861,5158,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17862,5158,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17863,5158,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17864,5158,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17865,5158,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"top 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Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"8 Signs You\'re in the Right Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, we spend a whole lotta time talking about\\u00a0red flags, don\\u2019t we? Those kind of intuitive indicators you should never ignore when it comes to dating someone.<\\/p><p>But how often do we talk about *checks notes*\\u2026 green flags? You know \\u2013 the good stuff that means you\\u2019re with the right kinda person?<\\/p><p>Approximately NEVER, you guys. Why is that?<\\/p><p>Whether you\\u2019ve been in a relationship for\\u00a0<em>yonks<\\/em>\\u00a0or in the midst of a pandemic love story and about to enter the world together IRL \\u2013 there really couldn\\u2019t be a better time to check in with yourself.<\\/p><p>To stop and reflect on how certain behaviours in your relationship impact you and make you feel. If the person you\\u2019re dating really is\\u2026\\u00a0<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>the one<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>.<\\/p><p>So, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>\\u00a0and asked her to tell us the most common signs of a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>Get your notepad out, friend. We\\u2019re doing a big ol\\u2019 listicle.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c17f097\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"71edba0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You balance each other\'s needs\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether or not you and your partner share the same goals and interests, Abrahams said couples that balance each other\\u2019s individual needs and see the relationship as a team, are in the green zone.<\\/p><p>\\\"In less happy relationships, partners lose a sense of being a team and become competitors in their day-to-day lives, especially if there is a lot of conflict,\\\" she shares.<\\/p><p>\\\"Happy couples have a secure sense that they are both working in the best interests of the team.\\\"<\\/p><p>This means that both teammates will support each other to be as individually happy, well and fulfilled as possible, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that for the team to be happy, the two individuals in it need to be happy too. They celebrate each other\\u2019s wins and are generous with time, empathy, and attention,\\\" she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAt the same time, they work together for the greater good of their team, such as keeping their eye on how much money they spend and how much time they have together as a couple.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Which team player are you?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s important to remember that when working as part of a group, everyone often has different strengths and abilities \\u2013 something a happy couple will use to their advantage in order to flourish.<\\/p><p>Think of it like a sport \\u2013 you can\\u2019t play every position at once.<\\/p><p>\\\"They work with the tension that is always there in couple relationships \\u2013 balancing couple needs and desires with those of both partner\\u2019s individual needs and desires.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey understand that these three entities (two partners and one couple relationship) all need to flourish to be happy together.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6bf6852\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ca1e046\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You communicate respectfully\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If there\\u2019s one thing we know, it\\u2019s how important communication is to develop a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand their partner is different from them and will have different opinions, thoughts, behaviours, or viewpoints,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey see their partner as interesting, and they are often curious about their partner\\u2019s ideas. They listen (as opposed to pretending to listen) and are non-judgmental. They are grateful to their partner for their contributions and helpful or kind gestures they make and thank each other for them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical that both parties feel like they can be super open and honest in this area, and be able to feel comfortable discussing all kinds of matters.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples are not critical or rejecting. They apologise when they are out of line or have hurt their partner. All of this allows the partners to safely speak their minds, unlike less happy couples who shoot each other\\u2019s ideas down, don\\u2019t listen as it feels threatening, or are judgmental.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"37f99d7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cadff35\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can bounce off each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I<span style=\\\"color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;\\\">f you regularly take innocent jabs at one another, join the club. But there is a difference between playfulness and dismissiveness.<\\/span><\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cUnhappy couples show each other how displeased, hurt, resentful or frustrated they are with their relationship and each other quite\\u00a0frequently,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey use strategies to cut the links between them, such as they push back, dismiss or reject their partner\\u2019s ideas.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Abrahams said to picture this as a pair of scissors cutting the link between two minds.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Not good.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cHappy couples allow their partner\\u2019s ideas, opinions, and suggestions to be considered. They share ideas and bounce them back and forth between them.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey love discussing, creating projects, and even planning things in the future together. They can join their partner with a full range of experiences from laughter and playfulness to being empathic when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"64be9f7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"17b547a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You have boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"-25\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">All healthy relationships will understand that boundaries are important in order to keep each other protected.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">According to Abrahams, boundaries can be divided into two important parts:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0561f4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"042a66c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5b4cc6b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>Happy couples don\\u2019t need to tell everyone the ins and outs of their lives.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are more private as they understand the difference between private and public information. They also keep their partner\\u2019s vulnerabilities and more fragile parts protected from others.\\u201d<\\/li><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>They have sexual boundaries.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are faithful, don\\u2019t flirt or step over a line that would be disrespectful for their partner and the relationship.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"22\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efef526\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"54a1d47\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9fbc2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"23bff75\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"918be4d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You say \\u201cyes\\u201d to each other more than \\u201cno\\u201d\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In the early days of a relationship, you\\u2019re usually both \\u201cyes\\u201d people \\u2013 doing everything you can to make it clear you\\u2019re both pretty into each other.<\\/p><p>However, like other things, this level of effort can fall to the wayside as things progress. More often than not, couples can end up wondering if the other person really\\u2026 cares.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when a partner invites them for lunch or a walk or to have sex, that these are gifts in the relationship. Their partner is offering the relationship opportunities to connect and have a space just for two.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when they say yes to these opportunities, it creates space for emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy. They understand that\\u00a0such intimacy is a special glue that holds them together and offers a buffer to protect against harder times,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen couples I see in therapy say \\u2018no\\u2019 to each other frequently, I encourage them to watch Jim Carrey\\u2019s film\\u00a0<em>Yes Man<\\/em>\\u00a0to show how life-enhancing a yes position is. Frequently saying \\u2018no\\u2019 to our partner destroys links between us and the opportunity for connection.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ebf528\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"43c6ec1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can depend on each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The importance of trust is huge. Major. Without this, a relationship can\\u2019t function \\u2013 you really can\\u2019t be comfortable if you don\\u2019t have faith in your SO.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples offer each other care, protection and the ability to depend on each other,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>She adds that\\u00a0both partners should be able to move between feeling strong, dependable and containing positions for their partner, to being more vulnerable and seeking support from their partner. It really needs to be a balancing act.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNeither partner is locked permanently into \\u2018the carer\\u2019 role or \\u2018the cared for\\u2019 role. They move flexibly between these positions when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ae571a2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240b45f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/7.png\",\"id\":3743,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a big one. Abrahams said one of the most critical things in a healthy relationship is that a couple keeps their individuality.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWay back when we met our partner, they had their own identity and engaged in many aspects of their life. We liked this about them and were attracted to who they were as a stand-alone individual.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey were interesting, funny, clever, sexy, or had life experience in ways that we enjoyed. We chose to remain with this individual because out of all the other possible\\u00a0people on the planet to partner with, we believed this individual was the best for us.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Remember those days?<\\/p><p>Abrahams said as we start dating, we obviously start to\\u00a0make room for each other in our lives and prioritise this.<\\/p><p>Read: That friend who gets into a relationship and you feel like\\u00a0you never see them again.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe gave up aspects of our individual identities for this relationship, like not seeing certain friends anymore, less time for hobbies, ditching plans to live overseas, or delaying a career choice,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we committed even more and lived together, maybe even had children, the stakes got higher, and we had less time for our individual desires to flourish. We all become more responsible to the couple or family unit, with more demands on our minds, time and freedom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And\\u00a0in the process, you kinda just\\u2026 lose yourself.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIn relationships we often lose sight of our own identity and what makes us happy as an individual. I see many clients where they feel flat or even depressed at this loss.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep finding time and space for both our own and our partner\\u2019s individual identity to be expressed. We can easily lose sight of what makes our heart sing. We may think it is selfish. It\\u2019s not, it\\u2019s life enhancing. We may not be able to\\u00a0engage in everything we used to, but we all have individual hopes and desires for our time on earth.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that for some it can be reconnecting with old friends, picking up an instrument again, pursuing further study, picking up other hobbies, and more.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to make time in our relationships for, \\u2018I\\u2019m doing more of me\\u2019 and \\u2018you do more of you\\u2019. Relationships are a marathon not a sprint. We need to refuel and hydrate ourselves in a way that is meaningful for each of us along the way.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Hear, hear.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"025dda6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"927b1ce\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/8.png\",\"id\":3744,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHappy couples know that when there are difficulties, they need to work through them and not sweep issues under the rug,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey know that life is not all rosy and there will be happier times and other times where life will be stressful. They are resourceful in how they work through difficulties.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Two people who are in a healthy relationship should be able to have those difficult conversations about difficult things and be able to work through them \\u2013 even if it means bringing in an extra mind or a set of ears.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may look for help online (courses, blogs, chat groups), read books, or even go seek help from wise family, friends, or a therapist. I see these couples who only need a few sessions to sort out an issue. They don\\u2019t let things fester,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLess happy couples take longer to seek help and many end up living with upset and anxiety for years before seeking help. Couples take on average six years to see a couples therapist.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Six. Years.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s soul-destroying for many couples, as well as any children at home. Take a leaf out of the happy couples experience and get help as soon as possible.\\u201d<\\/p><p><em>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/resources\\/download-top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication-e-book\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17866,5158,'_thumbnail_id','4331'),(17867,5158,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17868,5158,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17869,5158,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1660106581;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17870,5159,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17871,5159,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17872,5159,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17873,5159,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17874,5159,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"top center\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-315,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"8 Signs You\'re in the Right Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"8 Signs You\'re in the Right Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, we spend a whole lotta time talking about\\u00a0red flags, don\\u2019t we? Those kind of intuitive indicators you should never ignore when it comes to dating someone.<\\/p><p>But how often do we talk about *checks notes*\\u2026 green flags? You know \\u2013 the good stuff that means you\\u2019re with the right kinda person?<\\/p><p>Approximately NEVER, you guys. Why is that?<\\/p><p>Whether you\\u2019ve been in a relationship for\\u00a0<em>yonks<\\/em>\\u00a0or in the midst of a pandemic love story and about to enter the world together IRL \\u2013 there really couldn\\u2019t be a better time to check in with yourself.<\\/p><p>To stop and reflect on how certain behaviours in your relationship impact you and make you feel. If the person you\\u2019re dating really is\\u2026\\u00a0<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>the one<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>.<\\/p><p>So, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>\\u00a0and asked her to tell us the most common signs of a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>Get your notepad out, friend. We\\u2019re doing a big ol\\u2019 listicle.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c17f097\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"71edba0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You balance each other\'s needs\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether or not you and your partner share the same goals and interests, Abrahams said couples that balance each other\\u2019s individual needs and see the relationship as a team, are in the green zone.<\\/p><p>\\\"In less happy relationships, partners lose a sense of being a team and become competitors in their day-to-day lives, especially if there is a lot of conflict,\\\" she shares.<\\/p><p>\\\"Happy couples have a secure sense that they are both working in the best interests of the team.\\\"<\\/p><p>This means that both teammates will support each other to be as individually happy, well and fulfilled as possible, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that for the team to be happy, the two individuals in it need to be happy too. They celebrate each other\\u2019s wins and are generous with time, empathy, and attention,\\\" she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAt the same time, they work together for the greater good of their team, such as keeping their eye on how much money they spend and how much time they have together as a couple.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Which team player are you?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s important to remember that when working as part of a group, everyone often has different strengths and abilities \\u2013 something a happy couple will use to their advantage in order to flourish.<\\/p><p>Think of it like a sport \\u2013 you can\\u2019t play every position at once.<\\/p><p>\\\"They work with the tension that is always there in couple relationships \\u2013 balancing couple needs and desires with those of both partner\\u2019s individual needs and desires.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey understand that these three entities (two partners and one couple relationship) all need to flourish to be happy together.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6bf6852\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ca1e046\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You communicate respectfully\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If there\\u2019s one thing we know, it\\u2019s how important communication is to develop a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand their partner is different from them and will have different opinions, thoughts, behaviours, or viewpoints,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey see their partner as interesting, and they are often curious about their partner\\u2019s ideas. They listen (as opposed to pretending to listen) and are non-judgmental. They are grateful to their partner for their contributions and helpful or kind gestures they make and thank each other for them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical that both parties feel like they can be super open and honest in this area, and be able to feel comfortable discussing all kinds of matters.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples are not critical or rejecting. They apologise when they are out of line or have hurt their partner. All of this allows the partners to safely speak their minds, unlike less happy couples who shoot each other\\u2019s ideas down, don\\u2019t listen as it feels threatening, or are judgmental.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"37f99d7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cadff35\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can bounce off each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I<span style=\\\"color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;\\\">f you regularly take innocent jabs at one another, join the club. But there is a difference between playfulness and dismissiveness.<\\/span><\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cUnhappy couples show each other how displeased, hurt, resentful or frustrated they are with their relationship and each other quite\\u00a0frequently,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey use strategies to cut the links between them, such as they push back, dismiss or reject their partner\\u2019s ideas.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Abrahams said to picture this as a pair of scissors cutting the link between two minds.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Not good.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cHappy couples allow their partner\\u2019s ideas, opinions, and suggestions to be considered. They share ideas and bounce them back and forth between them.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey love discussing, creating projects, and even planning things in the future together. They can join their partner with a full range of experiences from laughter and playfulness to being empathic when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"64be9f7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"17b547a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You have boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"-25\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">All healthy relationships will understand that boundaries are important in order to keep each other protected.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">According to Abrahams, boundaries can be divided into two important parts:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0561f4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"042a66c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5b4cc6b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>Happy couples don\\u2019t need to tell everyone the ins and outs of their lives.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are more private as they understand the difference between private and public information. They also keep their partner\\u2019s vulnerabilities and more fragile parts protected from others.\\u201d<\\/li><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>They have sexual boundaries.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are faithful, don\\u2019t flirt or step over a line that would be disrespectful for their partner and the relationship.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"22\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efef526\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"54a1d47\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9fbc2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"23bff75\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"918be4d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You say \\u201cyes\\u201d to each other more than \\u201cno\\u201d\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In the early days of a relationship, you\\u2019re usually both \\u201cyes\\u201d people \\u2013 doing everything you can to make it clear you\\u2019re both pretty into each other.<\\/p><p>However, like other things, this level of effort can fall to the wayside as things progress. More often than not, couples can end up wondering if the other person really\\u2026 cares.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when a partner invites them for lunch or a walk or to have sex, that these are gifts in the relationship. Their partner is offering the relationship opportunities to connect and have a space just for two.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when they say yes to these opportunities, it creates space for emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy. They understand that\\u00a0such intimacy is a special glue that holds them together and offers a buffer to protect against harder times,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen couples I see in therapy say \\u2018no\\u2019 to each other frequently, I encourage them to watch Jim Carrey\\u2019s film\\u00a0<em>Yes Man<\\/em>\\u00a0to show how life-enhancing a yes position is. Frequently saying \\u2018no\\u2019 to our partner destroys links between us and the opportunity for connection.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ebf528\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"43c6ec1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can depend on each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The importance of trust is huge. Major. Without this, a relationship can\\u2019t function \\u2013 you really can\\u2019t be comfortable if you don\\u2019t have faith in your SO.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples offer each other care, protection and the ability to depend on each other,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>She adds that\\u00a0both partners should be able to move between feeling strong, dependable and containing positions for their partner, to being more vulnerable and seeking support from their partner. It really needs to be a balancing act.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNeither partner is locked permanently into \\u2018the carer\\u2019 role or \\u2018the cared for\\u2019 role. They move flexibly between these positions when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ae571a2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240b45f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/7.png\",\"id\":3743,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a big one. Abrahams said one of the most critical things in a healthy relationship is that a couple keeps their individuality.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWay back when we met our partner, they had their own identity and engaged in many aspects of their life. We liked this about them and were attracted to who they were as a stand-alone individual.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey were interesting, funny, clever, sexy, or had life experience in ways that we enjoyed. We chose to remain with this individual because out of all the other possible\\u00a0people on the planet to partner with, we believed this individual was the best for us.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Remember those days?<\\/p><p>Abrahams said as we start dating, we obviously start to\\u00a0make room for each other in our lives and prioritise this.<\\/p><p>Read: That friend who gets into a relationship and you feel like\\u00a0you never see them again.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe gave up aspects of our individual identities for this relationship, like not seeing certain friends anymore, less time for hobbies, ditching plans to live overseas, or delaying a career choice,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we committed even more and lived together, maybe even had children, the stakes got higher, and we had less time for our individual desires to flourish. We all become more responsible to the couple or family unit, with more demands on our minds, time and freedom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And\\u00a0in the process, you kinda just\\u2026 lose yourself.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIn relationships we often lose sight of our own identity and what makes us happy as an individual. I see many clients where they feel flat or even depressed at this loss.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep finding time and space for both our own and our partner\\u2019s individual identity to be expressed. We can easily lose sight of what makes our heart sing. We may think it is selfish. It\\u2019s not, it\\u2019s life enhancing. We may not be able to\\u00a0engage in everything we used to, but we all have individual hopes and desires for our time on earth.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that for some it can be reconnecting with old friends, picking up an instrument again, pursuing further study, picking up other hobbies, and more.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to make time in our relationships for, \\u2018I\\u2019m doing more of me\\u2019 and \\u2018you do more of you\\u2019. Relationships are a marathon not a sprint. We need to refuel and hydrate ourselves in a way that is meaningful for each of us along the way.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Hear, hear.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"025dda6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"927b1ce\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/8.png\",\"id\":3744,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHappy couples know that when there are difficulties, they need to work through them and not sweep issues under the rug,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey know that life is not all rosy and there will be happier times and other times where life will be stressful. They are resourceful in how they work through difficulties.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Two people who are in a healthy relationship should be able to have those difficult conversations about difficult things and be able to work through them \\u2013 even if it means bringing in an extra mind or a set of ears.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may look for help online (courses, blogs, chat groups), read books, or even go seek help from wise family, friends, or a therapist. I see these couples who only need a few sessions to sort out an issue. They don\\u2019t let things fester,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLess happy couples take longer to seek help and many end up living with upset and anxiety for years before seeking help. Couples take on average six years to see a couples therapist.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Six. Years.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s soul-destroying for many couples, as well as any children at home. Take a leaf out of the happy couples experience and get help as soon as possible.\\u201d<\\/p><p><em>If you\\u2019re looking for help in improving your communication with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/resources\\/download-top-tips-for-improving-couple-communication-e-book\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(17875,5159,'_thumbnail_id','4331'),(17876,5159,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(17877,5159,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(17878,5159,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1660106581;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(17879,5160,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(17880,5160,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(17881,5160,'_elementor_version','3.6.7'),(17882,5160,'_wp_page_template','default'),(17883,5160,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"top center\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-315,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"8 Signs You\'re in the Right Relationship\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, we spend a whole lotta time talking about\\u00a0red flags, don\\u2019t we? Those kind of intuitive indicators you should never ignore when it comes to dating someone.<\\/p><p>But how often do we talk about *checks notes*\\u2026 green flags? You know \\u2013 the good stuff that means you\\u2019re with the right kinda person?<\\/p><p>Approximately NEVER, you guys. Why is that?<\\/p><p>Whether you\\u2019ve been in a relationship for\\u00a0<em>yonks<\\/em>\\u00a0or in the midst of a pandemic love story and about to enter the world together IRL \\u2013 there really couldn\\u2019t be a better time to check in with yourself.<\\/p><p>To stop and reflect on how certain behaviours in your relationship impact you and make you feel. If the person you\\u2019re dating really is\\u2026\\u00a0<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>the one<img class=\\\"emoji\\\" role=\\\"img\\\" draggable=\\\"false\\\" src=\\\"https:\\/\\/s.w.org\\/images\\/core\\/emoji\\/14.0.0\\/svg\\/2728.svg\\\" alt=\\\"\\u2728\\\" \\/>.<\\/p><p>So, we hit up psychotherapist and couples counsellor\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/about-me\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">Lissy Abrahams<\\/a>\\u00a0and asked her to tell us the most common signs of a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>Get your notepad out, friend. We\\u2019re doing a big ol\\u2019 listicle.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c17f097\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"71edba0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You balance each other\'s needs\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Whether or not you and your partner share the same goals and interests, Abrahams said couples that balance each other\\u2019s individual needs and see the relationship as a team, are in the green zone.<\\/p><p>\\\"In less happy relationships, partners lose a sense of being a team and become competitors in their day-to-day lives, especially if there is a lot of conflict,\\\" she shares.<\\/p><p>\\\"Happy couples have a secure sense that they are both working in the best interests of the team.\\\"<\\/p><p>This means that both teammates will support each other to be as individually happy, well and fulfilled as possible, said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"They understand that for the team to be happy, the two individuals in it need to be happy too. They celebrate each other\\u2019s wins and are generous with time, empathy, and attention,\\\" she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cAt the same time, they work together for the greater good of their team, such as keeping their eye on how much money they spend and how much time they have together as a couple.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Which team player are you?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s important to remember that when working as part of a group, everyone often has different strengths and abilities \\u2013 something a happy couple will use to their advantage in order to flourish.<\\/p><p>Think of it like a sport \\u2013 you can\\u2019t play every position at once.<\\/p><p>\\\"They work with the tension that is always there in couple relationships \\u2013 balancing couple needs and desires with those of both partner\\u2019s individual needs and desires.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey understand that these three entities (two partners and one couple relationship) all need to flourish to be happy together.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6bf6852\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ca1e046\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You communicate respectfully\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>If there\\u2019s one thing we know, it\\u2019s how important communication is to develop a healthy relationship.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand their partner is different from them and will have different opinions, thoughts, behaviours, or viewpoints,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey see their partner as interesting, and they are often curious about their partner\\u2019s ideas. They listen (as opposed to pretending to listen) and are non-judgmental. They are grateful to their partner for their contributions and helpful or kind gestures they make and thank each other for them.\\u201d<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical that both parties feel like they can be super open and honest in this area, and be able to feel comfortable discussing all kinds of matters.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples are not critical or rejecting. They apologise when they are out of line or have hurt their partner. All of this allows the partners to safely speak their minds, unlike less happy couples who shoot each other\\u2019s ideas down, don\\u2019t listen as it feels threatening, or are judgmental.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"37f99d7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cadff35\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/3.png\",\"id\":3749,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can bounce off each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I<span style=\\\"color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;\\\">f you regularly take innocent jabs at one another, join the club. But there is a difference between playfulness and dismissiveness.<\\/span><\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cUnhappy couples show each other how displeased, hurt, resentful or frustrated they are with their relationship and each other quite\\u00a0frequently,\\u201d Abrahams says.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey use strategies to cut the links between them, such as they push back, dismiss or reject their partner\\u2019s ideas.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Abrahams said to picture this as a pair of scissors cutting the link between two minds.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">Not good.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cHappy couples allow their partner\\u2019s ideas, opinions, and suggestions to be considered. They share ideas and bounce them back and forth between them.\\u201d<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">\\u201cThey love discussing, creating projects, and even planning things in the future together. They can join their partner with a full range of experiences from laughter and playfulness to being empathic when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"64be9f7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"17b547a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/4.png\",\"id\":3750,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You have boundaries\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"-25\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">All healthy relationships will understand that boundaries are important in order to keep each other protected.<\\/p><p style=\\\"margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: Lato, \'Helvetica Neue\', Helvetica, Arial, \'sans-serif\'; font-size: 16px;\\\">According to Abrahams, boundaries can be divided into two important parts:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0561f4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"042a66c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5b4cc6b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<ol><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>Happy couples don\\u2019t need to tell everyone the ins and outs of their lives.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are more private as they understand the difference between private and public information. They also keep their partner\\u2019s vulnerabilities and more fragile parts protected from others.\\u201d<\\/li><li dir=\\\"ltr\\\"><strong>They have sexual boundaries.<\\/strong><br \\/>\\u201cThey are faithful, don\\u2019t flirt or step over a line that would be disrespectful for their partner and the relationship.\\u201d<\\/li><\\/ol>\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"22\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efef526\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"54a1d47\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9fbc2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/5.png\",\"id\":3751,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"left\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"23bff75\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"918be4d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You say \\u201cyes\\u201d to each other more than \\u201cno\\u201d\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In the early days of a relationship, you\\u2019re usually both \\u201cyes\\u201d people \\u2013 doing everything you can to make it clear you\\u2019re both pretty into each other.<\\/p><p>However, like other things, this level of effort can fall to the wayside as things progress. More often than not, couples can end up wondering if the other person really\\u2026 cares.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when a partner invites them for lunch or a walk or to have sex, that these are gifts in the relationship. Their partner is offering the relationship opportunities to connect and have a space just for two.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples understand that when they say yes to these opportunities, it creates space for emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy. They understand that\\u00a0such intimacy is a special glue that holds them together and offers a buffer to protect against harder times,\\u201d explains Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen couples I see in therapy say \\u2018no\\u2019 to each other frequently, I encourage them to watch Jim Carrey\\u2019s film\\u00a0<em>Yes Man<\\/em>\\u00a0to show how life-enhancing a yes position is. Frequently saying \\u2018no\\u2019 to our partner destroys links between us and the opportunity for connection.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ebf528\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"43c6ec1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/6.png\",\"id\":3742,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You can depend on each other\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The importance of trust is huge. Major. Without this, a relationship can\\u2019t function \\u2013 you really can\\u2019t be comfortable if you don\\u2019t have faith in your SO.<\\/p><p>\\u201cHappy couples offer each other care, protection and the ability to depend on each other,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>She adds that\\u00a0both partners should be able to move between feeling strong, dependable and containing positions for their partner, to being more vulnerable and seeking support from their partner. It really needs to be a balancing act.<\\/p><p>\\u201cNeither partner is locked permanently into \\u2018the carer\\u2019 role or \\u2018the cared for\\u2019 role. They move flexibly between these positions when needed.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ae571a2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240b45f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/7.png\",\"id\":3743,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is a big one. Abrahams said one of the most critical things in a healthy relationship is that a couple keeps their individuality.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWay back when we met our partner, they had their own identity and engaged in many aspects of their life. We liked this about them and were attracted to who they were as a stand-alone individual.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey were interesting, funny, clever, sexy, or had life experience in ways that we enjoyed. We chose to remain with this individual because out of all the other possible\\u00a0people on the planet to partner with, we believed this individual was the best for us.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Remember those days?<\\/p><p>Abrahams said as we start dating, we obviously start to\\u00a0make room for each other in our lives and prioritise this.<\\/p><p>Read: That friend who gets into a relationship and you feel like\\u00a0you never see them again.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe gave up aspects of our individual identities for this relationship, like not seeing certain friends anymore, less time for hobbies, ditching plans to live overseas, or delaying a career choice,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhen we committed even more and lived together, maybe even had children, the stakes got higher, and we had less time for our individual desires to flourish. We all become more responsible to the couple or family unit, with more demands on our minds, time and freedom.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And\\u00a0in the process, you kinda just\\u2026 lose yourself.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIn relationships we often lose sight of our own identity and what makes us happy as an individual. I see many clients where they feel flat or even depressed at this loss.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep finding time and space for both our own and our partner\\u2019s individual identity to be expressed. We can easily lose sight of what makes our heart sing. We may think it is selfish. It\\u2019s not, it\\u2019s life enhancing. We may not be able to\\u00a0engage in everything we used to, but we all have individual hopes and desires for our time on earth.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams said that for some it can be reconnecting with old friends, picking up an instrument again, pursuing further study, picking up other hobbies, and more.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to make time in our relationships for, \\u2018I\\u2019m doing more of me\\u2019 and \\u2018you do more of you\\u2019. Relationships are a marathon not a sprint. We need to refuel and hydrate ourselves in a way that is meaningful for each of us along the way.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Hear, hear.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"025dda6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":5},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"927b1ce\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"http:\\/\\/116.90.63.253\\/~lissyabr\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/8.png\",\"id\":3744,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"50\",\"height\":\"50\"},\"align\":\"center\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":95},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"You keep your identities separate\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cHappy couples know that when there are difficulties, they need to work through them and not sweep issues under the rug,\\u201d says Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey know that life is not all rosy and there will be happier times and other times where life will be stressful. They are resourceful in how they work through difficulties.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Two people who are in a healthy relationship should be able to have those difficult conversations about difficult things and be able to work through them \\u2013 even if it means bringing in an extra mind or a set of ears.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey may look for help online (courses, blogs, chat groups), read books, or even go seek help from wise family, friends, or a therapist. I see these couples who only need a few sessions to sort out an issue. They don\\u2019t let things fester,\\u201d she says.<\\/p><p>\\u201cLess happy couples take longer to seek help and many end up living with upset and anxiety for years before seeking help. Couples take on average six years to see a couples therapist.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Six. Years.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThat\\u2019s soul-destroying for many couples, as well as any children at home. 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