(16039,5037,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0what makes a couple\'s relationship happy.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1665e80\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"41fb984\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"46a2f02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"13. They never dismiss your career\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fa06281\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c8863cb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2409162\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A partner who loves and respects you will be your number one supporter. They\'ll push you to challenge yourself and aim for big goals - not dismiss them as silly or unrealistic.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never disregard your career as unimportant after having children. They will want to participate in discussions and support you to get you back to work when you are ready\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if this does not align with their opinion on this,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2ab3156\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"698a34d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35411ee\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"14. The would never mentally  or physically harm you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"122946a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ce71b35\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22e8e9f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is one is crucial. A good partner will always be able to recognise their self worth without attempting to place anyone (you) below them, or break someone else\'s self-confidence.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never raise their hand or harm you or verbally abuse you,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that they\'re upset or angry feelings should not be taken out on you.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"92283ee\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2883586\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3ee5e70\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"15. They don\'t compare you to other people\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9c2419\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9a4764d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f8c0331\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A good partner will never compare you to other people or make you alter your behaviour \\\"when their past experiences have left a mark on them\\\".\\u00a0<\\/p><p>For example, if they have been cheated on in a past relationship and they struggle with trust, a good partner will not make you responsible for this and understand they need to work on this inside of themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they would not ask you to repeatedly text them when you\\u2019re out without them and they don\\u2019t put limits on who you can and cannot speak to when you\\u2019re at a party.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you\'re looking for help in improving your relationship with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/5-mistakes-couples-make\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you or a loved one is experiencing family violence, support is available. Call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit the website to chat online.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you are concerned about your behaviour within a relationship, call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find a service near you.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16040,5037,'_thumbnail_id','5028'),(16041,5037,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16042,5037,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16043,5037,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:33;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:6:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:16;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:16;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:15;s:11:\"header_size\";i:15;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:15;}}}}}'),(16044,5038,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16045,5038,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16046,5038,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16047,5038,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16048,5038,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0what makes a couple\'s relationship happy.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1665e80\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"41fb984\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"46a2f02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"13. They never dismiss your career\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fa06281\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c8863cb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2409162\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A partner who loves and respects you will be your number one supporter. They\'ll push you to challenge yourself and aim for big goals - not dismiss them as silly or unrealistic.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never disregard your career as unimportant after having children. They will want to participate in discussions and support you to get you back to work when you are ready\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even if this does not align with their opinion on this,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"2ab3156\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"698a34d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35411ee\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"14. The would never mentally  or physically harm you\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"122946a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ce71b35\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22e8e9f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This is one is crucial. A good partner will always be able to recognise their self worth without attempting to place anyone (you) below them, or break someone else\'s self-confidence.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good partner will never raise their hand or harm you or verbally abuse you,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"They know that they\'re upset or angry feelings should not be taken out on you.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"92283ee\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2883586\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3ee5e70\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"15. They don\'t compare you to other people\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e9c2419\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9a4764d\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f8c0331\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A good partner will never compare you to other people or make you alter your behaviour \\\"when their past experiences have left a mark on them\\\".\\u00a0<\\/p><p>For example, if they have been cheated on in a past relationship and they struggle with trust, a good partner will not make you responsible for this and understand they need to work on this inside of themselves.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means they would not ask you to repeatedly text them when you\\u2019re out without them and they don\\u2019t put limits on who you can and cannot speak to when you\\u2019re at a party.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you\'re looking for help in improving your relationship with your partner, Abrahams has a free e-book available\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/5-mistakes-couples-make\\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener noreferrer\\\">here<\\/a>.\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you or a loved one is experiencing family violence, support is available. Call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit the website to chat online.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>If you are concerned about your behaviour within a relationship, call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find a service near you.<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16049,5038,'_thumbnail_id','5028'),(16050,5038,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16051,5038,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16052,5038,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:33;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:6:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:16;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:16;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:15;s:11:\"header_size\";i:15;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:15;}}}}}'),(16053,5039,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16054,5039,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16055,5039,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16056,5039,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16057,5039,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16058,5039,'_thumbnail_id','5028'),(16059,5039,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16060,5039,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16061,5039,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:33;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:33;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:6:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:16;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:16;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:15;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:15;s:11:\"header_size\";i:15;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:15;}}}}}'),(16062,5040,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16063,5040,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16064,5040,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16065,5040,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16066,5040,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/blog1.jpg\",\"id\":4758,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-216,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Interviews\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"Click on the <b>\'READ MORE\'<\\/b> buttons below to read the articles.\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8cb0d8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"105d92e\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"164d44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ac00dc7\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"571\",\"height\":\"576\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"ff0cad8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cbdaff3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"845c4a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a2ce34\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"208ee97\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dde958f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22357aa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 things your therapist wants you to know\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"2 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a209b20\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"270e64f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9c0b406\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9052b5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6ea2349\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"5 questions everyone should be able to answer about their partner\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f434228\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"51119b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3fd09b3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a5e6e79\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"there are only 2 types of friends everyone needs in their life\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"5 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"307c637\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"6f6d69e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_2139813481-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5018,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"768\",\"height\":\"512\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"8febc68\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fd9ad23\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"12e342a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"7 signs you\'re an empath and what it means\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"fae9781\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"336891f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1185179290-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5006,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"5d52422\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"be61121\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fdb9f64\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22d60fb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"A Psychotherapist Told Us There Are 4 Different Types Of Shame - Here\\u2019s What They Mean\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"3 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"084e7b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1523322002.jpg\",\"id\":5005,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"9526c2f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"95a8a92\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d27838\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"There are 5 Types of Narcissists - Here\'s how to spot them\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"c467d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"a408655\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745084162.jpg\",\"id\":5004,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"af530c1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b92e6c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7310a16\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"4 things to do when you and your partner have very difference love languages\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"4 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f5b687d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1385860784-768x511-1.jpg\",\"id\":5003,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"18ee290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e3eee79\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1bdd375\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c04d0db\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"12 Rules that will help deepen your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"19 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"e49aeab\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_479612449-768x513-1.jpg\",\"id\":5002,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"11588b1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8d9fc82\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0289443\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"what is a \'highly sensitive\' person?\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"0e6bb12\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"09d86d3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7fb74f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e3bdd9a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Why your relationship feels like a struggle right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ddd0fe0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"aff52b2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b1984c4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aa3bab8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"347e5cb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"The one after the one\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"882eccb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"491203e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"68cc944\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a6dd15f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3e1ece7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"650272f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"10 signs you and your partner are \'fake happy\' in your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"9f5a566\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"7185e2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/08\\/couple-on-a-beach-scaled-e1661425844544.jpg\",\"id\":4992,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"blog-fullwidth\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"0\",\"height\":\"250\"},\"space\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100,\"sizes\":[]},\"height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":244,\"sizes\":[]},\"_z_index\":0},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"eae271f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ca9ddb7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"07ebc62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"15 Things your partner will never do if you are in a healthy relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"24 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"74a5925\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"96a66a2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/15-things-partner-never-do-if-healthy-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6eb168a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"741fca5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5fe41f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"8 Signs you\'re in the right relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"5a6b247\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a386dc9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/8-signs-in-right-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"feb004c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bf9e1eb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b35e85b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16067,5040,'_thumbnail_id','4758'),(16068,5040,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16069,5040,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16070,5041,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16071,5041,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16072,5041,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16073,5041,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16074,5041,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/blog1.jpg\",\"id\":4758,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-216,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Interviews\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"Click on the <b>\'READ MORE\'<\\/b> buttons below to read the articles.\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8cb0d8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"105d92e\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"164d44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ac00dc7\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"571\",\"height\":\"576\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"ff0cad8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cbdaff3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"845c4a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a2ce34\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"208ee97\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dde958f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22357aa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 things your therapist wants you to know\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"2 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a209b20\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"270e64f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9c0b406\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9052b5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6ea2349\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"5 questions everyone should be able to answer about their partner\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f434228\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"51119b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3fd09b3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a5e6e79\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"there are only 2 types of friends everyone needs in their life\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"5 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"307c637\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"6f6d69e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_2139813481-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5018,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"768\",\"height\":\"512\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"8febc68\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fd9ad23\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"12e342a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"7 signs you\'re an empath and what it means\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"fae9781\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"336891f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1185179290-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5006,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"5d52422\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"be61121\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fdb9f64\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22d60fb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"A Psychotherapist Told Us There Are 4 Different Types Of Shame - Here\\u2019s What They Mean\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"3 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"084e7b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1523322002.jpg\",\"id\":5005,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"9526c2f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"95a8a92\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d27838\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"There are 5 Types of Narcissists - Here\'s how to spot them\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"c467d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"a408655\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745084162.jpg\",\"id\":5004,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"af530c1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b92e6c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7310a16\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"4 things to do when you and your partner have very difference love languages\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"4 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f5b687d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1385860784-768x511-1.jpg\",\"id\":5003,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"18ee290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e3eee79\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1bdd375\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c04d0db\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"12 Rules that will help deepen your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"19 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"e49aeab\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_479612449-768x513-1.jpg\",\"id\":5002,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"11588b1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8d9fc82\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0289443\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"what is a \'highly sensitive\' person?\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"0e6bb12\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"09d86d3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7fb74f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e3bdd9a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Why your relationship feels like a struggle right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ddd0fe0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"aff52b2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b1984c4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aa3bab8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"347e5cb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"The one after the one\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"882eccb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"491203e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"68cc944\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a6dd15f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3e1ece7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"650272f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"10 signs you and your partner are \'fake happy\' in your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"9f5a566\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"7185e2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/08\\/couple-on-a-beach-scaled-e1661425844544.jpg\",\"id\":4992,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"blog-fullwidth\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"0\",\"height\":\"250\"},\"space\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100,\"sizes\":[]},\"height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":244,\"sizes\":[]},\"_z_index\":0},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"eae271f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ca9ddb7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"07ebc62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"15 Things your partner will never do if you are in a healthy relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"24 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"74a5925\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"96a66a2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/15-things-partner-never-do-if-healthy-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6eb168a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"741fca5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5fe41f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"8 Signs you\'re in the right relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"5a6b247\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a386dc9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/8-signs-in-right-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"feb004c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bf9e1eb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b35e85b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16075,5041,'_thumbnail_id','4758'),(16076,5041,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16077,5041,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16078,5042,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16079,5042,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16080,5042,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16081,5042,'_wp_page_template','default');
INSERT INTO `wpjr_postmeta` VALUES (16082,5042,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/blog1.jpg\",\"id\":4758,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-216,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Interviews\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"Click on the <b>\'READ MORE\'<\\/b> buttons below to read the articles.\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d8cb0d8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"105d92e\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"164d44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ac00dc7\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"571\",\"height\":\"576\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"ff0cad8\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"cbdaff3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"845c4a5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"7a2ce34\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"208ee97\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dde958f\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22357aa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 things your therapist wants you to know\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a209b20\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"270e64f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9c0b406\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d9052b5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6ea2349\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"5 questions everyone should be able to answer about their partner\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f434228\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"51119b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3fd09b3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a5e6e79\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"there are only 2 types of friends everyone needs in their life\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"5 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"307c637\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"6f6d69e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_2139813481-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5018,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"custom\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"768\",\"height\":\"512\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"8febc68\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"fd9ad23\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"12e342a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"7 signs you\'re an empath and what it means\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"fae9781\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"336891f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1185179290-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5006,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"5d52422\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"be61121\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fdb9f64\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"22d60fb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"A Psychotherapist Told Us There Are 4 Different Types Of Shame - Here\\u2019s What They Mean\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"3 March 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"084e7b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1523322002.jpg\",\"id\":5005,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"9526c2f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"95a8a92\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d27838\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"There are 5 Types of Narcissists - Here\'s how to spot them\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"28 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"c467d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"a408655\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745084162.jpg\",\"id\":5004,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"af530c1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6b92e6c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7310a16\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"4 things to do when you and your partner have very difference love languages\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"4 February 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"f5b687d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1385860784-768x511-1.jpg\",\"id\":5003,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"18ee290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e3eee79\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1bdd375\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c04d0db\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"12 Rules that will help deepen your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"19 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"e49aeab\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_479612449-768x513-1.jpg\",\"id\":5002,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"11588b1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8d9fc82\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0289443\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"what is a \'highly sensitive\' person?\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"16 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"0e6bb12\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_706770283-1024x683-1.jpg\",\"id\":5000,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"09d86d3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"7fb74f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e3bdd9a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Why your relationship feels like a struggle right now\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"15 December 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"ddd0fe0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1745850722-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5001,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"aff52b2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b1984c4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aa3bab8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"347e5cb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"The one after the one\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"26 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"882eccb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"491203e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"68cc944\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_1108778102.jpg\",\"id\":4999,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a6dd15f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"3e1ece7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"650272f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"10 signs you and your partner are \'fake happy\' in your relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"25 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"9f5a566\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"7185e2c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/08\\/couple-on-a-beach-scaled-e1661425844544.jpg\",\"id\":4992,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"image_size\":\"blog-fullwidth\",\"image_custom_dimension\":{\"width\":\"0\",\"height\":\"250\"},\"space\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100,\"sizes\":[]},\"height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":244,\"sizes\":[]},\"_z_index\":0},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"eae271f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ca9ddb7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"07ebc62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"15 Things your partner will never do if you are in a healthy relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"24 November 2021\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"74a5925\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/reed-naliboff-tP0ZiwR-LQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":4342,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"96a66a2\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/15-things-partner-never-do-if-healthy-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6eb168a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"30\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"741fca5\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d5fe41f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"8 Signs you\'re in the right relationship\",\"heading_text\":\"\",\"description_text\":\"22 November 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"5a6b247\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_305085290.jpg\",\"id\":4331,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"},{\"id\":\"a386dc9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"button_text\":\"Read More\",\"button_link\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/case-study\\/8-signs-in-right-relationship\\/\",\"is_external\":\"\",\"nofollow\":\"\",\"custom_attributes\":\"\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_button_more\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"feb004c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bf9e1eb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":33,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b35e85b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":28,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16083,5042,'_thumbnail_id','4758'),(16084,5042,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16085,5042,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16087,5043,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(16088,5043,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(16089,5043,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(16090,5043,'case_study_gallery',''),(16091,5043,'wg_client',''),(16092,5043,'wg_construction_date',''),(16093,5043,'wg_location',''),(16094,5043,'wg_gardener',''),(16095,5043,'wg_completed_date',''),(16096,5043,'wg_price',''),(16097,5043,'wg_download_1',''),(16098,5043,'wg_download_2',''),(16099,5043,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16100,5043,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16101,5043,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16102,5043,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16103,5043,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16104,5043,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16105,5043,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16106,5043,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16107,5043,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16108,5043,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(16109,5043,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16110,5043,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16111,5043,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16112,5043,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16113,5043,'_edit_lock','1665972999:3'),(16114,5043,'_edit_last','3'),(16115,5043,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16116,5043,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16117,5043,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(16118,5043,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16151,5044,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16152,5044,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16153,5044,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16154,5044,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16155,5044,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16156,5044,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(16157,5044,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16158,5044,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16159,5044,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(16160,5044,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498317;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16161,5045,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16162,5045,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16163,5045,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16164,5045,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16165,5045,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16166,5045,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(16167,5045,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16168,5045,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16169,5045,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(16170,5045,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498317;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16171,5046,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16172,5046,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16173,5046,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16174,5046,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16175,5046,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Cant-Be-Friends.png\",\"id\":5028,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-480,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"No, we can\'t be friends\\\": 12 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know\",\"description_text\":\"3 June 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Ever wondered what your\\u00a0therapist\\u00a0is\\u00a0really\\u00a0thinking? Oh, phew! So it\'s not just us.<\\/p><p>It\'s a funny old thing, therapy. Not\\u00a0funny, funny - but you know we mean. Because more often than not, you don\'t really know what to expect if you\'ve never been before, right?<\\/p><p>Will it be like the movies? Will they show you those pictures of dark splotches and ask you what you see? Will they go home have a big gossip with their partner about all your secrets?? Omg, WILL THEY?<\\/p><p>The good news: Chances are, your therapist is nothing like what you\'ll see in movies and TV shows. Really!<\\/p><p>In fact, they\'re probably more like you than you might think.<\\/p><p>Watch: These signs will help you know if you should see a psychologist.<\\/p><p>And here\'s the thing - while it\'s always good to be able to\\u00a0seek out\\u00a0help from those around you, like your family and friends, sometimes you just need to chat with someone from outside of your circle. Someone who is like a blank sheet of paper.<\\/p><p>Below, we asked psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0to tell us everything she wants you to know about therapy..<\\/p><p>Take a seat.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. We understand that you may feel daunted or frightened about starting therapy\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Sharing really intimate details about your life, your\\u00a0relationships\\u00a0and some of your\\u00a0deepest secrets\\u00a0to a complete stranger can feel super scary and daunting. Therapists get it.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most people come to therapy because they need it. This doesn\\u2019t mean that they want to go. And I can tell you, no one starts therapy for fun\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0even though in my consulting room we have some fun,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that\\u00a0it can take time for some clients to feel safe in the space and that\\u2019s absolutely fine. You will feel safe when you feel safe and feel free to\\u00a0talk about this with your therapist.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. There\'s no experience needed\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Going to your first therapy session and nervous that you won\'t know what you need to... do or say? Don\'t worry - Abrahams said this is a really common feeling.<\\/p><p>\\\"Some people worry that\\u00a0they don\\u2019t know what to do in therapy and they may not be \\u201cgetting it right\\u201d as a client. Let me tell you now - there is no \'getting it right\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"All you need to do is bring yourself in - just as you are, no experience needed.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. We\\u2019ve seen it all\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Spoiler! While you might think you just have\\u00a0too much stuff,\\u00a0chances are your therapist has seen it all before. Your past behaviours, relationship struggles, life concerns - the whole shebang. Ten times over.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"So many people come to therapy worried that their therapist won\\u2019t be able to handle them\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that they\\u2019ll be too much,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though every client is unique and brings a different flavour to the therapy, an experienced therapist generally\\u00a0won\\u2019t be fazed by what you\\u2019re presenting with to have treated.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This doesn\\u2019t mean we don\\u2019t care or that we\\u2019re going through the motions\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we\\u2019re not. It\\u2019s that you\\u2019re unlikely to be shocking to us\\u00a0in any way.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, know that you\'re not \'too difficult\' to work with. The right therapist is out there for you.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. We understand fight-or-flight reactions\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Heard of a fight-or-flight response? It\'s basically a knee-jerk reaction to a past experience or event that you might perceive as stressful or frightening. Your pulse might start racing. Your breathing gets quicker. You feel tense. Uncomfortable.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\'s kind of like a psychological defence mechanism.<\\/p><p>\\\"We understand that\\u00a0you can have reactions to people and situations that trigger your fight-or-flight responses. Sometimes you may react as if you are being chased by a hungry bear,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Your body has a cascading reaction where your adrenaline and cortisol levels surge, and your heart rate and blood pressure increase.\\\"<\\/p><p>While it can be scary, it\'s important to know that this is totally normal, and an experienced therapist will help you navigate the situation.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists understand that in this mode, you may say or do things that may seem extreme. We help you understand these.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05cd975\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4edf4ff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8509d59\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Your history matters\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6c9418b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"032a2fe\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16aeacf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most important things therapists want patients to understand is just how crucial it is to explore past and present experiences - even if you might not feel like it\'s relevant to why you\'re seeking help.<\\/p><p>\\\"Any good therapist understands that your history shapes everything about you. This includes the stories you tell yourself, your beliefs, values, expectations, how you relate to yourself and others, what makes you upset, fearful, or angry, and so much more.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Therapists understand that you\\u2019ve been consciously and unconsciously programmed from forces outside of your control\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0we all have. They\\u2019ll work with you to understand how your programming is alive and kicking inside of you today and how your ego operates accordingly.\\\"<\\/p><p>Sometimes this can be incredibly tough and uncomfortable for people, especially when you\'ve experienced hurt in the past. So, be patient with yourself.<\\/p><p>\\\"Many of our clients have experienced childhood trauma and we help them understand how this impacts the way they function in their day-to-day lives.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"506888a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6da8f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"594f5b9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"6. Most parents do their best\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6dc1f12\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"36507ba\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3d858ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Fact: Blaming your parents for everything is not the goal here. Abrahams said it\'s about helping clients realise the reality that their parents may have done the best they can, and at the same time\\u00a0may have hurt you in ways you now struggle with.<\\/p><p>\\\"Most therapists understand that\\u00a0parents do their best. This doesn\\u2019t mean they always supported, cared or kept you safe. But most parents do their best, even though they have limitations and shortcomings. Therapy is not about blaming parents.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Most parents are just operating from the program they received from their conscious and unconscious experiences. It\\u2019s important to understand how the limitations affected you and shaped you, yet to also understand most parents don\\u2019t try to\\u00a0hurt their children. They\\u2019re often preoccupied, stressed, and exhausted.\\\"<\\/p><p>The goal is to try to\\u00a0navigate the life you\'ve been given - because at the end of the day,\\u00a0you\'re the only one who can change it.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"76b215b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"daea4aa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b949088\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"7. We\'re non-judgemental\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"acbcc4d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5783cb0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"80c2e8f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said any good therapist will never judge their client - even when you feel like they\'re doing more listening than talking.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you ever do feel judged by your therapist, she said this is something you should bring up with them - it might seem really uncomfortable at first, but it\'s extremely important you voice your feelings.<\\/p><p>\\\"Good therapists are non-judgemental therapists. How is a judgemental therapist helpful? Actually, they\\u2019re harmful. If your therapist is, call them out on it or find someone else who isn\\u2019t judgemental,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"Our position is to help you understand how you operate and we do this alongside you\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not towering above you on a pedestal.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e0afa32\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6de38bf\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5ff3fb4\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"8. Your therapist is a mere mortal, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c9fc05b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c9ac8f6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ef0d3bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yep, therapists are real people. And they\'re not perfect, either.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Clients often feel they need to see their therapist as angelic\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0those who are only good and perfect. Whenever I sense my clients are placing me in the \\u2018perfect\\u2019 bracket, I quickly let them know that there are no halos in my consulting room\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0not on their heads and certainly not on mine.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I\\u2019m not perfect and nor is any therapist. We struggle like you do in life. We feel pain, sadness, anger and more. We have our battle scars and life experiences. We\\u2019re all mere mortals, and sometimes we handle life\\u2019s tribulations well, and sometimes we can stuff up royally.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0293f29\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9138caa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1ca07d1\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"9. Distress tolerance is everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f16d0f7\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e9cd6fc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4f7b898\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, many clients come to see therapists because they have distress intolerance. This means they haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate upsetting emotions and sit with them.<\\/p><p>\\\"They didn\\u2019t learn this as a child through their\\u00a0parent-child relationship. This means that they suffer because they don\\u2019t understand that this unpleasant feeling inside them will pass.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It feels catastrophic, and that\\u2019s where they look to the external world to make themselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, restricting food, gambling, promiscuous sex, turning to drugs\\/alcohol, talking excessively with friends or creating drama.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on to explain that these actions in the outside world never resolve what\\u2019s going on inside - they\'re mere distractions that numb, but don\\u2019t address, what the unpleasant experience was.<\\/p><p>\\\"A good therapist will help you understand this and teach you other ways to tolerate the sensations inside you, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e2e3195\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2bd3cd8\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2b5019c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"10. You leave a mark on our lives, too\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"61c51ed\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"edb7df4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"669ff7d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Any good therapist will truly want the best for you - and their investment in you often goes outside of the time you spend together. So, don\'t think that you\'re just another number.<\\/p><p>\\\"Even though you\\u2019re the one who is going through a transformative experience with the therapist, you leave a mark on them, too,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"Our relationships are meaningful and real, and we care deeply about our clients\\u2019 wellbeing.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"I genuinely love my clients and my heart can bleed for them when they suffer and my heart can expand with joy at their development and other wonderful moments.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0135333\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"89b04b9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"facd74e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"11. No, we can\\u2019t be friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"ba7bf83\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a7096c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aed594d\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>While it\'s common to develop a close relationship with your therapist, Abrahams said it\'s important to understand that you can\'t be friends with your therapist.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Awks, we know. But it\'s for the best.<\\/p><p>\\\"There are many clients who would like to be friends with their therapist. This shows that a great connection has been made. However, it\\u2019s important though to keep the relationship in the therapy-client space so that clients can always return for top-up sessions.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being friends with your therapist can create what\'s known as a \'conflicting dual relationship\', which is when people are in two very different relationships at the same time - and this presents a number of different challenges.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>So, yeah - it\'s both good and bad news. Don\'t ask your therapist around for dinner, friend.<\\/p><p>\\\"Your therapist holds your history in a particular way that no-one else does\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0besides you. It\\u2019s a special thing you share. You can make more friends of many different varieties, but having someone hold all of that knowledge of you and your work together is valuable and worthy of protection.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"I had a client return for sessions yesterday after not seeing him for seven years. Whilst I don\\u2019t remember every detail of our time together, I certainly remember him and his essence. We were both able to pick back up and get back into the work together.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"08a3988\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c913a40\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d6b2a02\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"12. We have a privileged role\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"757aceb\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"13284c2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0ded9ad\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"Being a therapist is such privileged work, and most therapists take their role and responsibilities seriously.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We know how transformative the experience of therapy can be and how profoundly it alters lives.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16176,5046,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(16177,5046,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16178,5046,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16179,5046,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(16180,5046,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498317;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16181,5047,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16182,5047,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16183,5047,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16184,5047,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16185,5047,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16186,5047,'_thumbnail_id','5026'),(16187,5047,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16188,5047,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16189,5047,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:27;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:27;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:13;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:13;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:12;s:11:\"header_size\";i:12;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:12;}}}}}'),(16190,5047,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498317;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16191,5048,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(16192,5048,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(16193,5048,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(16194,5048,'case_study_gallery',''),(16195,5048,'wg_client',''),(16196,5048,'wg_construction_date',''),(16197,5048,'wg_location',''),(16198,5048,'wg_gardener',''),(16199,5048,'wg_completed_date',''),(16200,5048,'wg_price',''),(16201,5048,'wg_download_1',''),(16202,5048,'wg_download_2',''),(16203,5048,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16204,5048,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16205,5048,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16206,5048,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16207,5048,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16208,5048,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16209,5048,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16210,5048,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16211,5048,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16212,5048,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(16213,5048,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16214,5048,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16215,5048,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16216,5048,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16217,5048,'_edit_lock','1665973005:3'),(16218,5048,'_edit_last','3'),(16219,5048,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16220,5048,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16222,5048,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16255,5049,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16256,5049,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16257,5049,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16258,5049,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16259,5049,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16260,5049,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(16261,5049,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16262,5049,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16263,5049,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(16264,5049,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498837;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16265,5050,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16266,5050,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16267,5050,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16268,5050,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16269,5050,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16270,5050,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(16271,5050,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16272,5050,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16273,5050,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(16274,5050,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498837;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16275,5051,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16276,5051,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16277,5051,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16278,5051,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16279,5051,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Ruleslist-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5026,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-356,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"\\\"It\\u2019s just too much pressure\\\": 4 relationship \'expectations\' you need to ditch immediately\",\"description_text\":\"17 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to thinking about what kind of\\u00a0partner\\u00a0you want in your life, it\'s common to have a few non-negotiables on the list.<\\/p><p>Whether it\'s thinking there should always be a romantic \'spark\', avoiding conflict or expecting a\\u00a0certain amount of sex\\u00a0- everyone has a different set of deal breakers when they\'re dating.<\\/p><p>Watch: Here are some of the biggest relationship red flags you need to look out for.<\\/p><p>But while everyone\'s expectations of a healthy relationship might be a little different, and it\'s normal for yours to be different from your partner\'s, how do we know if we\\u2019re asking too much from the person we\'re dating?\\u00a0<\\/p><p>In fact, how do we develop all of\\u00a0these\\u00a0expectations in the first place?<\\/p><p>Well,\\u00a0apparently it\'s ingrained in us throughout our childhood.<\\/p><p>Couples counsellor\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said that when we\'re children, we form our own unique \\\"relational template\\\", and later this can alter across adulthood due to other couple relationships.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"These were shaped by our parents, extended family, our culture, religion, film and television, teachers, friends and not friends, governments, celebrities, and more. We didn\\u2019t form expectations from nowhere,\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"They\\u2019ve been shaped inside us, and we often take them to be a fact\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0that is, how partners should and shouldn\\u2019t behave and feel in a couple relationship. So many of the expectations are formed around safety.\\u00a0Divorce\\u00a0has meant that we now fear losing our partner more than at any other time in history.\\\"<\\/p><p>And while some of these expectations might be helpful to the health of your relationship, forever focusing on the \'dos\' and \'don\'ts\' and where your relationship \'should\' be going and where it \'shouldn\'t\', might be a hindrance.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And when you\'re happy in love, it can be pretty hard to miss these signs.<\\/p><p>So, that\'s why we\'ve brought in our expert.<\\/p><p>Here,\\u00a0Abrahams\\u00a0tells us some of the biggest unrealistic relationship expectations we need to ditch, immediately.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. That your partner needs to be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to our expert, this one is a fairly new belief. And it\'s actually more damaging than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s only in the more recent decades that we have this notion,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We expect a soulmate, a lover, a confidante, a therapist, [someone with whom to] raise children and be a great parent to our children,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"That they are amazingly attentive to us, work hard, manage a household, buy us lovely presents on special occasions, navigate the gap in our love languages, make us happy, financially have our back, help us buy a home, are great with our family and friends and so much more.\\\"<\\/p><p>Anyone else exhausted just reading that?!<\\/p><p>But apparently, according to Abrahams, these are the sort of things we have ended up expecting from our partner over the decades, and we can often feel a sense of betrayal or distress when they fall short.<\\/p><p>These days, our expectations of what makes a relationship \'healthy\' and how things should be is quite different to what they were years ago. And they can actually sabotage our connection with someone before they make them better.<\\/p><p>\\\"Partnerships of the past were often defined by a marriage, yet the expectations were nothing like they are today. They were both a property and a reproduction arrangement. Love was not part of the pact,\\\" explains Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Friendship wasn\'t even necessary. If they experienced love or friendship, it was a bonus, yet never a prerequisite. Partners had their respective gender roles and love was often sought out\\u00a0elsewhere and didn\\u2019t typically destabilise the unit.\\\"<\\/p><p>Obviously times have changed, but with it we\'ve developed high and often unreasonable expectations in order to form what we think is a well-rounded partnership.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Expectations grew over time as people moved to cities, away from family. We were no longer having a village meet our needs and now turned to our spouse to meet these. Then women became more educated, joined the workforce and became more independent.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Women were also able to control their bodies and pregnancies through pharmaceuticals. Sex could be enjoyed more without the fear of falling pregnant. There was then a freedom to choose one\'s partner, and this is where fantasies of \'the one\' became unrealistic.\\\"<\\/p><p>And just to be clear, it\'s the same for men - their expectations have increased, too.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said, \\\"We took \'the one\' too literally, as if it meant \'only one\', and we over-relied on this one mere mortal to be our one and only\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0our \'everything\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. That your partner can be your everything\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Question for you: How much do you\\u00a0depend on your partner?<\\/p><p>\\\"For many partners, the fairytale beginning often turns into a nightmare due to the weight of the expectations that are based on fantasy, not reality. It\\u2019s simply not possible for one person to be our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It\'s just too much pressure on one person. I have seen relationships go through horrendous times because the fantasy partner created at the\\u00a0beginning of a relationship\\u00a0isn\\u2019t sustainable.\\\"<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship, and how different things were. There was that \'specialness fantasy\', where everything felt really new and exciting.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>The butterflies-in-the-stomach, the crazy sex, the flirty comments, the interesting discussions that would last for ages...<\\/p><p>\\\"At the beginning of a relationship, both partners often create a fantasy partner to show we are better than any other potential mates out there. It\\u2019s all a bit of a performance. It\\u2019s a lovely performance, but it\\u2019s a performance, nonetheless. We find our mate for life, move in together and at this point the partners reveal their more ordinary aspects.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"It can feel brutal when our beloved takes their eyes off us more as it made us feel so secure and special. It can feel disastrous when the frequent sex diminishes, and we are left wanting.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Many partners are devastated that their partner doesn\\u2019t parent the children the way they expect\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0saying, \'I thought he would be such a great dad.\' I often ask\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why? As none of us know how to really be a parent until we have a child.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"Some partners cannot comprehend how their partner didn\\u2019t become more serious about their career and has a lower earning capacity than they expected. Some can\\u2019t deal with their partner not being \'the rock\' they need in difficult times.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. That we own our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"66c410b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"aabb8dc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8620\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Yeah, this one is a bit\\u00a0yucky. But it\'s actually super common and you probably don\'t even realise you\'re doing it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"The word \'my\' implies ownership. We use the word \'my\' to refer to my husband, wife, or partner. We may allow ourselves to treat them in ways we deem acceptable because they are \'ours\',\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"We overlay our\\u00a0relationship rules\\u00a0and expectations and expect them to comply so that we feel safe in the relationship. We can also control and manipulate them to do this.\\\"<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, being committed should not equate to ownership. Remember, they\'re their own person.<\\/p><p>\\\"We are both separate and unique beings whose worlds collided some time ago, and we decided to remain together. The more we recognise each other\\u2019s separateness, the healthier our relationship will be.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. That we can change our partner\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Maybe it\'s the fact your partner still can\'t get along with your friends and family. Perhaps it\'s their forgetfulness of important details and dates. Or the fact they\'re not as career driven as you once thought.<\\/p><p>But if you\'re forever trying to change your partner, their personalities traits and the qualities that make them who they are - you\'re going to have a bad time. Because needing to control your partner\'s actions and thoughts is... not healthy.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Often, this can be\\u00a0linked to our ego, which can cause us to project inadequacy onto our partner, and see their faults and limitations.<\\/p><p>\\\"If you think you can change your partner\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0save your breath and change yourself. Ask yourself\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0why do they need to change? How can I get some of my needs met in a different way? Are they really needs or are they expectations based on how I was shaped by external forces across life?\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"We should anticipate that both of us will change over time and that we\\u2019ll be confronted with disappointment and even feelings of betrayal. This is because we have over-invested in our partner being our everything.\\\"<\\/p><p>The answer? I know we\'re starting to sound like a broken record, but it\'s all about\\u00a0keeping your boundaries\\u00a0and sense of individuality.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Learn to lean on others in the different communities you belong to for different reasons - whether it be your friends, family or your work colleagues. Because your partner isn\'t the answer to all of life\'s problems - you have other people in your life for a good reason!<\\/p><p>\\\"I recommend we take some pressure off relationships so they can be less fantasy-filled and more reality-based. Your friends can be your confidante, your work colleagues can be fun and enlivening, your sex life will alter across time - and it\\u2019s not always doom and gloom if it does.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Abrahams said relationships prosper when both people maintain a level of independence within their own lives.<\\/p><p>\\\"Both of you will change over time as life changes all of us. Expectations need adjusting to life\'s changes and the reality of who our partner is, not who we want them to be.\\\"<\\/p><p>Now, read that last line again.<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on\\u00a0<strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\">what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/a><\\/strong>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is part of Mamamia\'s health panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully. Her latest book is \'Relationship Reset\', due for release on 26th July.\\u00a0<br \\/><strong><a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.panmacmillan.com.au\\/9781760989781\\/relationship-reset\\/\\\">UPDATE: OUT NOW<\\/a><\\/strong><\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16280,5051,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(16281,5051,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16282,5051,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16283,5051,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(16284,5051,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498837;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16285,5052,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16286,5052,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16287,5052,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16288,5052,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16289,5052,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16290,5052,'_thumbnail_id','5027'),(16291,5052,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16292,5052,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16293,5052,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:11;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:4;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:4;s:11:\"header_size\";i:4;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:4;}}}}}'),(16294,5052,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661498837;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16295,5053,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(16296,5053,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(16297,5053,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(16298,5053,'case_study_gallery',''),(16299,5053,'wg_client',''),(16300,5053,'wg_construction_date',''),(16301,5053,'wg_location',''),(16302,5053,'wg_gardener',''),(16303,5053,'wg_completed_date',''),(16304,5053,'wg_price',''),(16305,5053,'wg_download_1',''),(16306,5053,'wg_download_2',''),(16307,5053,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16308,5053,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16309,5053,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16310,5053,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16311,5053,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-166,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"5 Questions Everyone Should Be Able to Answer About Their Partner, According to An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, what are your deal-breakers?<\\/p><p>It might be feeling certain where you want to live, hobbies you want to pursue, career goals you need to support meeting, or the kind of\\u00a0family you want to have.<\\/p><p>Now, what about your partner? What are their non-negotiables?<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s totally normal to disagree on certain things (read: sailing around the world with seven children), having an open and honest conversation with your partner about each other\\u2019s needs and wants in life is crucial in order to make a relationship work.<\\/p><p>And sometimes having an unconformable conversation now \\u2013 everything from\\u00a0what gets your partner in the mood\\u00a0to\\u00a0how many kids they want\\u00a0\\u2013 can save you\\u00a0a whole lotta\\u00a0heartache in the end.<\\/p><p>So, we sat down with relationship therapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her to share some of the most important things you should know about your partner.<\\/p><p>In no particular order \\u2013 and the order will be determined by the age and stage of the couple \\u2013 Abrahams said there are five key things you should be able to answer about your romantic partner.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. How do they deal with stress, sadness, fear, or pain?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most crucial things you should know about your partner is how they deal with painful and upsetting life experiences.<\\/p><p>Establishing how your partner copes with difficult emotions \\u2013 because everyone is different \\u2013 will help you better understand how you\\u2019re able to help each other when stressful things arise.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have differing capacities for how we tolerate upsetting experiences or physical pain. In general, our ability to tolerate these states stems from whether our parents soothed us in childhood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis soothing, across many aspects in childhood, becomes internalised and forms the basis of learning to tolerate distress as adults. We take this ability to cope into\\u00a0[our] relationship with our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on\\u00a0to say that people who can tolerate these feelings are often able to manage unsettling experiences better and understand that difficulties come and go.<\\/p><p>While they can still become upset, distressed, or feel pain, she said they tend to be able to work things out themselves, or talk to their partner, or seek wise counsel from someone in their community or a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe important thing is that they are not fearful of thinking about these emotional states. They want to understand them so they can recover,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>The other side of it? Those who struggle with difficult emotions.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe big difference for those who can\\u2019t deal with these feelings or pain is that they need to do something in the external world to make the feelings go away.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese solutions are a way of trying to cope with the pain, but they never actually resolve it. Often, they just make things worse.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, you\\u2019re going to want to know if your partner can sit with difficult feelings or not. If not, what do they do?<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they instantly blame you? Block or push back your ideas? Do they become sulky or whiny? Do they isolate themselves from you or become punishing?,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they turn to drugs or alcohol to ease emotional or physical pain? Do they use porn, gamble, or shop excessively to avoid feelings? What about emotional eating or highly rigid restrictions on food?\\u201d<\\/p><p>This is a really important one to be able to\\u00a0answer, as it can\\u00a0harm a relationship when we can\\u2019t manage difficult states inside of ourselves.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. How do they like and not like to be touched physically or sexually?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Partners can have very different views on intimacy \\u2013 like how often sex should happen, and their expectations and fantasies around sexual activity, including touch.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner in a relationship likes to be touched differently. At the beginning of our relationship, we often care a great deal about whether our partner enjoys our touch,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship when things were new and exciting. Over time, we might not care quite\\u00a0as much about what our partner likes and doesn\\u2019t like \\u2013 which is a bit sh**ty.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep caring because this journey is an ever-changing field,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cOur partner will change across the relationship. We need to understand how they like to be touched physically and sexually at different ages and stages.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Do they want children or not?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This one? This is important. While you might be fooled into thinking most couples will suss this out early on\\u00a0in a relationship, sometimes it doesn\\u2019t happen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner has their own thoughts about whether they want to be a parent of not. Don\\u2019t make any assumptions that your partner\\u2019s viewpoint. Make sure you ask the question: Do you want children? Yes\\/No,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they say no, don\\u2019t think you will change their mind later. They might, yet more often they won\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve seen many relationships destroyed by this assumption.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you both want children, how many do you both want? There will be problems if your partner wants many more children than you, or vice versa.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Not only is it important to know whether or not you both want children, but you also should also have a broader idea of what happens if it isn\\u2019t possible.<\\/p><p>Struggling to have children can take its toll on any relationship, so you don\\u2019t also want to realise that your partner isn\\u2019t on board with other avenues you\\u2019d be open to, like IVF or adoption. While opinions may change over time, it\\u2019s still important to discuss it early so you know where each of you stand.<\\/p><p>Both want to have children? Cool! The next thing you should know is how your partner would want to raise them \\u2013 because this is just as important.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou also need to see where your partner sits in their assumptions about how raising children works,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWho will potentially pause their career to be the primary carer? You will need to see how well you can navigate these conversations together. The stakes are much higher having these conversations when the child has already entered the world.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. How does your partner relate to money?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner and money. What does that look like?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have a relationship to money,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cThis relationship plays itself out based on the stories in our head about money. Is money the root of all evil or does it make the world go round? Our stories can be contradictory, incoherent, and both conscious and unconscious.\\u201d<\\/p><p>You\\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but one thing most experts will agree on is that the greatest thing couples fight over is money. For this reason, Abrahams said it\\u2019s really important to understand your partner so that you can protect your relationship from being spoiled by money issues.<\\/p><p>And there are a lot of different questions you should ask yourself about this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDoes your partner fear not having enough money? Or fear losing money? Or continue to feel shame around being a child who didn\\u2019t have enough money? Do they comment on your spending too much? Do they throw money around and squander it? Or do they restrict your freedom due to a lack of money? Or do they use money to try to\\u00a0control you?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMoney issues can be fraught in relationships. Try to understand how your partner relates to money and the stories they use to describe their relationship with it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Importantly, she also suggests speaking to your partner about their feelings around debt, mortgages, savings, spending, and separate or shared bank accounts.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEnsure you work with them to understand their relationship to money.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Do they have any unfulfilled dreams that they haven\\u2019t shared with you?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Everyone has dreams and desires \\u2013 and they can look totally different for each of us.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome partners have a secret desire for the road they haven\\u2019t taken. It\\u2019s normal to some degree\\u00a0as we always say no to one path when we go down another,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFind out whether there are paths that can be made room for so your partner can have as rich and fulfilling a life as possible. For example, one partner may be desperate to have a stint living overseas.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf this is possible to work into your lives, then see if it can get off the ground. Some of these may be less possible\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0like one partner joining the air force\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0but you can attend air force shows together or watch documentaries or movies together with such themes.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Knowing what these are will give you a good idea of your future together and what works for both of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to ask your partner how important these dreams are to them, and also whether you, as their partner, could help the dreams become a reality.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And there you have it! Some of the most important questions you should be able to answer about your partner.<\\/p><p>How did you go? Did you nail it? Knew you would. You and Jaryd are great together.<\\/p><p><em>For more from Lissy Abrahams, read her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships, a unit of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy\\u00a0founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (369886034)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16312,5053,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16313,5053,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16314,5053,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16315,5053,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16316,5053,'_thumbnail_id','5008'),(16317,5053,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16318,5053,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16319,5053,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16320,5053,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16321,5053,'_edit_lock','1665973014:3'),(16322,5053,'_edit_last','3'),(16323,5053,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16324,5053,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16326,5053,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16359,5054,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16360,5054,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16361,5054,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16362,5054,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16363,5054,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16364,5054,'_thumbnail_id','5008'),(16365,5054,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16366,5054,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16367,5054,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16368,5054,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661500031;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16369,5055,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16370,5055,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16371,5055,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16372,5055,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16373,5055,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16374,5055,'_thumbnail_id','5008'),(16375,5055,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16376,5055,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16377,5055,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16378,5055,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661500031;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16379,5056,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16380,5056,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16381,5056,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16382,5056,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16383,5056,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/Avoidance.png\",\"id\":5027,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-232,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"From numbness to avoidance: 5 signs you\'re \'emotionally coasting\' right now\",\"description_text\":\"1 July 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>In a\\u00a0Better Homes and Gardens\\u00a0interview,\\u00a0Harry Styles\\u00a0said he had the tendency to \\u201cemotionally coast\\u201d through life - where he described feeling detached, numb and overwhelmed by his feelings and life experiences.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>And, honestly, it might just be the best way to describe the collective emotion of 2022.<\\/p><p>Because while everything is \'back\' (travel! Holidays! Festivals! Weddings!), there\'s also the very real and very obvious feeling of mental exhaustion when it comes to the relentless\\u00a0bad news cycle\\u00a0(see: war, protests, shootings) raging right before our eyes.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>If you\'re anything like us, you might be feeling like it\'s becoming harder and harder to know where to place your energy and care. To actually\\u00a0feel\\u00a0things.<\\/p><p>Enter: \'Emotional coasting\'.<\\/p><p>Watch: Signs that mean you should seek help for your mental health.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>Styles told\\u00a0BHG\\u00a0that therapy allowed him to open up, better connect with his emotions and experiences, and live more authentically.<\\/p><p>He said, \\\"I think that accepting living, being happy, hurting in the extremes, that is the most alive you can be. Losing it crying, losing it laughing - there\'s no way, I don\'t think, to feel more alive than that.\\\"<\\/p><p>So, what exactly is emotional coasting and why do we do it? And more importantly,\\u00a0how do we stop?<\\/p><p>Here, we ask an expert in psychology to tell us\\u00a0everything we need to know.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is \'emotional coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Emotional coasting is a term that encompasses what I call the \\u201cbland band\\u201d, where consciously and\\/or unconsciously we strip our lives of the wider emotional spectrum,\\\" explains psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\\"This means experiences might be felt as \'nice\' or \'a bit tough\' but never really \'incredible\' or \'heartbreaking\'.\\\"<\\/p><p>The reason behind this? According to Abrahams, it\'s almost like a defence mechanism when we know we\'re not going to be able to\\u00a0process difficult feelings or experiences.<\\/p><p>\\\"We do this because we haven\\u2019t developed a sufficient distress tolerance to sit with feelings outside of the \'bland band\',\\\" she said.<\\/p><p>\\\"So, emotional coasting is used to rein in emotional experiences, so we feel safer. If we haven\\u2019t learnt how to tolerate more extreme emotions, like joy and excitement or distress and fear, then we typically look for ways to dampen them.\\\"<\\/p><p>In effect, this helps protect us from being overwhelmed or dealing with certain emotions we\'re not prepared to take on.<\\/p><p>\\\"The problem is that the way we dampen them is by either clipping our internal state (living in the emotional bland\\u00a0band) or by using something in the external world as a crutch (like drugs or alcohol, spending money, over-eating, or restricting food, or by using ego defence mechanisms like denial or compartmentalisation).\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What are some common signs you might be \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Does all this sound a little... familiar? Don\'t worry. You\'re not alone.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>As Abrahams tells us, it\'s something we\'ll all go through at some point\\u00a0in our lives - especially after the past few years.<\\/p><p>\\\"It\\u2019s impossible to feel every feeling to the full extent. Imagine needing to focus on your work following a fight with your partner and not having any tools up your sleeve to do so. We\\u2019d end up plagued by every single feeling and achieve nothing for months on end!\\\"<\\/p><p>If you\'re unable to maintain your usual drive and care for life and all its experiences, Abrahams said there are four important questions you need to ask yourself.<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I really let myself become excited? What language do I use around this?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- Do I move away from people when they are ecstatic or joyous?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I minimise or compartmentalise my feelings to move away from the sadness?<\\/p><p style=\\\"padding-left: 40px;\\\">- When I\\u2019m sad, do I look outside of myself for the answer? Is this to numb the pain? Is it to distract from the pain?<\\/p><p>Okay. How many of these did you say \'yes\' to?<\\/p><p>\\\"As a therapist, I know we can\\u2019t just keep stuffing feelings down and, at some point, symptoms will erupt either mentally or physically,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Meaning? You need to be aware of the key signs and symptoms, so you\'re able to stop it from affecting your life negatively.<\\/p><p>Some common signs of emotional coasting include -\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"530415b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2293c5b\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0dd095c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Being busy\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"071e448\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"163f4cc\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3270964\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Are you using work as a distraction? \\\"Whilst being busy can help at times,\\u00a0we need to be careful we are not over-using busyness to bypass feelings,\\\" said Abrahams.\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a3d42ea\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"96d007c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3855afa\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Sublimation\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"c87b820\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a7daeee\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"35ba72b\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>See: Avoiding any form of emotional processing by doing absolutely anything else.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"This is where we avoid the full emotional experience by attending to pursuits that are deemed worthwhile, such as mowing the lawn, working later, or using the gym,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"f4cf7bf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c83c9ac\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe39c58\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Compartmentalising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"06cc6c9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"e7977f1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d0b8846\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>According to Abrahams, it\'s common for many people to\\u00a0unconsciously avoid the emotional impact by putting it deep down in our emotional vault and pretty much just throwing away the key. \\\"This helps us feel we are no longer in contact with it - despite the fact it still resides in us,\\\" she adds.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bb99771\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"48dbaad\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e5a7bd\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. Minimising\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f04b2e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"bfdd52a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2fc62bf\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"We can downplay our emotions. For example, when we have been unexpectedly broken up with, we may minimise by stating, \'He didn\\u2019t mean that much to me anyway\' or \'I\\u2019m overthinking this - it\\u2019s simple - it\\u2019s over\'.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e6bed53\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"16dbca4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"15b573c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Blocking or numbing\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b738f57\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"be08062\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3840ca6\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Instead of using coping strategies, many people will turn to other things to replace this feeling, using it as a crutch to avoid acknowledging or processing their feelings.<\\/p><p>This involves \\\"using any action outside of ourselves to block or numb the pain,\\\" said Abrahams. \\\"This could be through drugs or alcohol, self-harm, gambling...\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"How can you stop yourself from \'emotionally coasting\'?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Abrahams said, \\\"It\\u2019s critical for all of us who emotionally coast to increase our window of tolerance for emotions outside of the \'bland band\'. Life will throw us curve balls, and always when we least expect it.\\\"<\\/p><p>Being aware of this behavior and identifying the reasons behind it (that is, what you\'re trying to protect yourself from by numbing your emotions) and how it impacts your life, can help you move forward and better process your emotions and life experiences going forward.<\\/p><p>But just remember - learning to stop \'emotional coasting\' is not a quick fix, and it can take some time in order to avoid getting overwhelmed with emotions.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, to prevent emotional coasting, it\'s important to develop three things:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"efb7225\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f3ed7ca\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"134d281\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Language awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dbf06c8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db0ce1a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fe5949f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>It seems like a small change, but Abrahams said that becoming aware of whether your language minimises your emotional experiences is more important than you might think.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"Do you say the meal is \'satisfying\' when you may mean \'delicious\'? Allow yourself freedom to turn the volume up. Do you say \'a bit disappointing\' when your pet has died or are you allowed to be \'grief-filled\'?\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"8b49b19\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9668db1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"33ad9e5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Body awareness\",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"d4c30ec\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cdb8cc6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"50246c9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"Our body often provides the truth about how we are feeling\\u00a0- without the story in our mind,\\\" said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Read: Listen to your body.<\\/p><p>\\\"Focus on your heart - is it beating more rapidly suddenly? Why? Information and sensations arise constantly from our body, and this can reveal that we\\u2019re not actually emotionally coasting.\\\"\\u00a0<\\/p><p>\\\"For example, our body will reveal if we are fearful, excited, or disappointed - it won\\u2019t coast. We can\\u2019t trick our body out of its experience, so tune in to enhance the colour of your emotional life.\\\"<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9621447\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"443dfbb\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9d61429\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Develop distress tolerance. \",\"header_size\":\"h4\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"681318f\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d44932a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"c12970f\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\\"It\\u2019s critical for our mental and physical health to be able to\\u00a0sit with the highs and lows of life without needing to do something with them. Many of us need to increase our ability to tolerate distress.\\\"<\\/p><p>Going to therapy and seeking help from a professional is a great way to \\\"increase your emotional range and truly understanding why you became someone who emotionally coasts\\u00a0in the first place.\\\"<\\/p><p>\\\"This, alongside mindfulness techniques, can help you develop a greater ability to tolerate a greater range of emotions that will erupt through life\\u2019s curveballs.\\\"<\\/p><p><em>If you would like to learn more from Lissy Abrahams, check out her e-book on <a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple\'s relationship happy<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0is part of Mamamia\'s health expert panel. She is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters in couples psychotherapy at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy founded and manages the Sydney-based\\u00a0therapy\\u00a0clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Feature image: Getty\\u00a0<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16384,5056,'_thumbnail_id','5008'),(16385,5056,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16386,5056,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16387,5056,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16388,5056,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661500031;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16389,5057,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16390,5057,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16391,5057,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16392,5057,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16393,5057,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_369886034-768x512-1.jpg\",\"id\":5008,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-166,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"Mamam!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"5 Questions Everyone Should Be Able to Answer About Their Partner, According to An Expert\",\"description_text\":\"30 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, what are your deal-breakers?<\\/p><p>It might be feeling certain where you want to live, hobbies you want to pursue, career goals you need to support meeting, or the kind of\\u00a0family you want to have.<\\/p><p>Now, what about your partner? What are their non-negotiables?<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>While it\\u2019s totally normal to disagree on certain things (read: sailing around the world with seven children), having an open and honest conversation with your partner about each other\\u2019s needs and wants in life is crucial in order to make a relationship work.<\\/p><p>And sometimes having an unconformable conversation now \\u2013 everything from\\u00a0what gets your partner in the mood\\u00a0to\\u00a0how many kids they want\\u00a0\\u2013 can save you\\u00a0a whole lotta\\u00a0heartache in the end.<\\/p><p>So, we sat down with relationship therapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0and asked her to share some of the most important things you should know about your partner.<\\/p><p>In no particular order \\u2013 and the order will be determined by the age and stage of the couple \\u2013 Abrahams said there are five key things you should be able to answer about your romantic partner.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. How do they deal with stress, sadness, fear, or pain?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>One of the most crucial things you should know about your partner is how they deal with painful and upsetting life experiences.<\\/p><p>Establishing how your partner copes with difficult emotions \\u2013 because everyone is different \\u2013 will help you better understand how you\\u2019re able to help each other when stressful things arise.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have differing capacities for how we tolerate upsetting experiences or physical pain. In general, our ability to tolerate these states stems from whether our parents soothed us in childhood,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis soothing, across many aspects in childhood, becomes internalised and forms the basis of learning to tolerate distress as adults. We take this ability to cope into\\u00a0[our] relationship with our partner.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Abrahams goes on\\u00a0to say that people who can tolerate these feelings are often able to manage unsettling experiences better and understand that difficulties come and go.<\\/p><p>While they can still become upset, distressed, or feel pain, she said they tend to be able to work things out themselves, or talk to their partner, or seek wise counsel from someone in their community or a therapist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe important thing is that they are not fearful of thinking about these emotional states. They want to understand them so they can recover,\\u201d she said.<\\/p><p>The other side of it? Those who struggle with difficult emotions.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe big difference for those who can\\u2019t deal with these feelings or pain is that they need to do something in the external world to make the feelings go away.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese solutions are a way of trying to cope with the pain, but they never actually resolve it. Often, they just make things worse.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, you\\u2019re going to want to know if your partner can sit with difficult feelings or not. If not, what do they do?<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they instantly blame you? Block or push back your ideas? Do they become sulky or whiny? Do they isolate themselves from you or become punishing?,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDo they turn to drugs or alcohol to ease emotional or physical pain? Do they use porn, gamble, or shop excessively to avoid feelings? What about emotional eating or highly rigid restrictions on food?\\u201d<\\/p><p>This is a really important one to be able to\\u00a0answer, as it can\\u00a0harm a relationship when we can\\u2019t manage difficult states inside of ourselves.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. How do they like and not like to be touched physically or sexually?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"57ad8b5\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"2ff06d0\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c7f9fc\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Partners can have very different views on intimacy \\u2013 like how often sex should happen, and their expectations and fantasies around sexual activity, including touch.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner in a relationship likes to be touched differently. At the beginning of our relationship, we often care a great deal about whether our partner enjoys our touch,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Think back to the beginning of your relationship when things were new and exciting. Over time, we might not care quite\\u00a0as much about what our partner likes and doesn\\u2019t like \\u2013 which is a bit sh**ty.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe need to keep caring because this journey is an ever-changing field,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cOur partner will change across the relationship. We need to understand how they like to be touched physically and sexually at different ages and stages.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"bdc5e28\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"6b183a9\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"574f290\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"3. Do they want children or not?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"b134af8\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"713418c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"240539c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This one? This is important. While you might be fooled into thinking most couples will suss this out early on\\u00a0in a relationship, sometimes it doesn\\u2019t happen.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEach partner has their own thoughts about whether they want to be a parent of not. Don\\u2019t make any assumptions that your partner\\u2019s viewpoint. Make sure you ask the question: Do you want children? Yes\\/No,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf they say no, don\\u2019t think you will change their mind later. They might, yet more often they won\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve seen many relationships destroyed by this assumption.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you both want children, how many do you both want? There will be problems if your partner wants many more children than you, or vice versa.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Not only is it important to know whether or not you both want children, but you also should also have a broader idea of what happens if it isn\\u2019t possible.<\\/p><p>Struggling to have children can take its toll on any relationship, so you don\\u2019t also want to realise that your partner isn\\u2019t on board with other avenues you\\u2019d be open to, like IVF or adoption. While opinions may change over time, it\\u2019s still important to discuss it early so you know where each of you stand.<\\/p><p>Both want to have children? Cool! The next thing you should know is how your partner would want to raise them \\u2013 because this is just as important.<\\/p><p>\\u201cYou also need to see where your partner sits in their assumptions about how raising children works,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWho will potentially pause their career to be the primary carer? You will need to see how well you can navigate these conversations together. The stakes are much higher having these conversations when the child has already entered the world.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bdbffa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"899caaa\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f325b3\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"4. How does your partner relate to money?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"4533b16\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4974a32\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"5dd624a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Your partner and money. What does that look like?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe all have a relationship to money,\\u201d said Abrahams. \\u201cThis relationship plays itself out based on the stories in our head about money. Is money the root of all evil or does it make the world go round? Our stories can be contradictory, incoherent, and both conscious and unconscious.\\u201d<\\/p><p>You\\u2019ve heard it a million times before, but one thing most experts will agree on is that the greatest thing couples fight over is money. For this reason, Abrahams said it\\u2019s really important to understand your partner so that you can protect your relationship from being spoiled by money issues.<\\/p><p>And there are a lot of different questions you should ask yourself about this.<\\/p><p>\\u201cDoes your partner fear not having enough money? Or fear losing money? Or continue to feel shame around being a child who didn\\u2019t have enough money? Do they comment on your spending too much? Do they throw money around and squander it? Or do they restrict your freedom due to a lack of money? Or do they use money to try to\\u00a0control you?\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cMoney issues can be fraught in relationships. Try to understand how your partner relates to money and the stories they use to describe their relationship with it,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Importantly, she also suggests speaking to your partner about their feelings around debt, mortgages, savings, spending, and separate or shared bank accounts.<\\/p><p>\\u201cEnsure you work with them to understand their relationship to money.\\u201d<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"27b462b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"26a40d2\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"508c44a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"5. Do they have any unfulfilled dreams that they haven\\u2019t shared with you?\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0dc47aa\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1e7ea79\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8e3ee73\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Everyone has dreams and desires \\u2013 and they can look totally different for each of us.<\\/p><p>\\u201cSome partners have a secret desire for the road they haven\\u2019t taken. It\\u2019s normal to some degree\\u00a0as we always say no to one path when we go down another,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cFind out whether there are paths that can be made room for so your partner can have as rich and fulfilling a life as possible. For example, one partner may be desperate to have a stint living overseas.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf this is possible to work into your lives, then see if it can get off the ground. Some of these may be less possible\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0like one partner joining the air force\\u00a0\\u2013\\u00a0but you can attend air force shows together or watch documentaries or movies together with such themes.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Knowing what these are will give you a good idea of your future together and what works for both of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s important to ask your partner how important these dreams are to them, and also whether you, as their partner, could help the dreams become a reality.\\u201d<\\/p><p>And there you have it! Some of the most important questions you should be able to answer about your partner.<\\/p><p>How did you go? Did you nail it? Knew you would. You and Jaryd are great together.<\\/p><p><em>For more from Lissy Abrahams, read her e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy Abrahams is a leading individual and couple psychotherapist who has dedicated her career to helping hundreds of clients navigate life\\u2019s obstacles and challenges. Lissy studied psychology in Sydney and then completed her Masters at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships, a unit of the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology in London. Here, she worked therapeutically with couples, as well as lectured and tutored trainee counsellors.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy\\u00a0founded and manages the Sydney-based therapy clinic, Heath Group Practice, and works therapeutically with clients around the world. She has published academic work and launched a successful online course to help partners stop fighting and communicate respectfully.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Lissy believes we all have the capacity to improve our lives and relationships with the right knowledge and practical strategies. Her mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives by creating happier and more loving relationships.<\\/em><\\/p><p><em>Image source: Shutterstock (369886034)<\\/em><\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16394,5057,'_thumbnail_id','5008'),(16395,5057,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16396,5057,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16397,5057,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:6:{s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:2;}}}}s:11:\"cms_heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"title_section\";a:5:{s:15:\"subheading_text\";i:2;s:12:\"heading_text\";i:2;s:16:\"description_text\";i:2;s:11:\"heading_tag\";i:1;s:10:\"text_align\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:21:\"section_style_heading\";a:4:{s:13:\"heading_color\";i:1;s:29:\"heading_typography_typography\";i:1;s:28:\"heading_typography_font_size\";i:1;s:33:\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:25;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:25;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:3:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_layout\";a:1:{s:15:\"stretch_section\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:2:{s:18:\"section_background\";a:7:{s:21:\"background_background\";i:1;s:16:\"background_image\";i:1;s:19:\"background_position\";i:1;s:17:\"background_repeat\";i:1;s:15:\"background_size\";i:1;s:15:\"background_ypos\";i:1;s:15:\"background_xpos\";i:1;}s:26:\"section_background_overlay\";a:3:{s:29:\"background_overlay_background\";i:1;s:24:\"background_overlay_color\";i:1;s:26:\"background_overlay_opacity\";i:1;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:16:\"section_advanced\";a:1:{s:6:\"margin\";i:9;}}}}s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:12;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:12;}}}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:11;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:2:{s:5:\"title\";i:11;s:11:\"header_size\";i:11;}}s:8:\"advanced\";a:1:{s:14:\"_section_style\";a:1:{s:8:\"_padding\";i:11;}}}}}'),(16398,5057,'_elementor_css','a:7:{s:4:\"time\";i:1661500031;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:5:\"empty\";i:0;s:0:\"\";s:3:\"css\";s:0:\"\";}'),(16399,5058,'custom_pagetitle','hide'),(16400,5058,'portfolio_content_padding','a:3:{s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";}'),(16401,5058,'case_study_gallery_lightbox','1'),(16402,5058,'case_study_gallery',''),(16403,5058,'wg_client',''),(16404,5058,'wg_construction_date',''),(16405,5058,'wg_location',''),(16406,5058,'wg_gardener',''),(16407,5058,'wg_completed_date',''),(16408,5058,'wg_price',''),(16409,5058,'wg_download_1',''),(16410,5058,'wg_download_2',''),(16411,5058,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16412,5058,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16413,5058,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16414,5058,'_wp_page_template','default'),(16415,5058,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"e854393\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"background_background\":\"classic\",\"background_image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/shutterstock_2139813481-scaled.jpg\",\"id\":5018,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"},\"background_position\":\"initial\",\"background_repeat\":\"no-repeat\",\"background_size\":\"cover\",\"background_overlay_background\":\"classic\",\"background_overlay_color\":\"#000000\",\"background_overlay_opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":0.409999999999999975575093458246556110680103302001953125,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_ypos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":-174,\"sizes\":[]},\"background_xpos\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":7,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"82bf9b1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d95d219\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":112,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"},{\"id\":\"ade2076\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"\",\"heading_text\":\"MamaM!a\",\"description_text\":\"\",\"heading_tag\":\"h1\",\"text_align\":\"center\",\"heading_color\":\"#FFFFFF\",\"heading_typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"heading_typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":60,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":40,\"sizes\":[]},\"heading_typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1.8000000000000000444089209850062616169452667236328125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"},{\"id\":\"a72ff32\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":125,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"22aae0e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"91\",\"right\":0,\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":0,\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b31baff\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"f7c748c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"subheading_text\":\"Article - source: Mamamia\",\"heading_text\":\"There Are Only 2 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life, According to a Psychotherapist\",\"description_text\":\"5 May 2022\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"cms_heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"dab5d10\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1fb5858\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"3c137ff\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>When it comes to\\u00a0relationships, more often than not you\\u2019ll find us talking about the rollercoaster ride that is romance and dating \\u2013 the\\u00a0red flags! The\\u00a0green flags! Ghosting! The whole shebang.<\\/p><p>\\u00a0<\\/p><p>However, in my years of writing about relationships and\\u00a0interviewing psychologists, if there\\u2019s one thing I\\u2019ve learnt it\\u2019s this: our relationships with our friends are more important than we might think. And they can largely affect our happiness and our health. Yes, really!<\\/p><p>Ask any expert and they\\u2019ll tell you that the need for a friendship and connection runs deep \\u2013 it\\u2019s something that\\u2019s just built into us.<\\/p><p>Psychotherapist\\u00a0Lissy Abrahams\\u00a0said, \\u201cHumans are social animals have always needed friendships and connections with others for their survival. Primitive man faced impending death when isolated from family and friends, as they were rather weak compared to other creatures in the wild. Forming friendships allowed us to be stronger than any one individual.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cAs social animals we originally formed trusting connections with others to help each other obtain food, shelter, and ward off predators. Even though we no longer live in the wild, we are still hard-wired for this form of interconnectedness.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Interesting, no?<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe still connect with others because our drive to survive still exists and tells us to catch up with people, make new friends when we move to a new area or new workplace. We are still wired to seek belonging and connection, we\\u2019re just not aware why.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Research\\u00a0even tells us that people with strong friendships are more likely to live longer. It can also benefit your mental health, as different friends can provide different emotional needs.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWith friends in our life we typically live longer, some studies even suggest friends can add years to our lives. They are good for us in so many ways,\\u201d adds Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Looking back at the COVID-19 lockdowns and our\\u00a0mental health during the pandemic, it\\u2019s easy to see how what can happen to our state of mind when we didn\\u2019t share that face-to-face connection with friends.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWhilst we try to make the most of it with online catch-ups, drinks and dress-ups, we still missed being in the same space as friends. The mental health of millions around the world plummeted. Our psychological distress was real. Our reliance on alcohol and drugs skyrocketed.\\u201d<\\/p><p>So, yeah. Friendship is pretty integral to our health.<\\/p><p>But making friends, learning how to be a friend, and how to keep good friends is something we\\u2019re constantly learning and re-learning \\u2013 no matter how old we are.<\\/p><p>According to Abrahams, there are two main\\u00a0types of\\u00a0friends you should surround yourself with.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"05d67e9\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dddd653\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b97ba78\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"1. Geographical Friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"8\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"52c9ccf\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1f71192\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"b6411ec\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>The first type of friends you should have are geographical friends. That is, the friends you make because you share a particular location with them.<\\/p><p>\\u201cRemember, building communities is primitively wired into our DNA. It\\u2019s what we do. So, if you\\u2019re in a new environment, you\\u2019ll be on the lookout for connection with others, as this will increase your desire for safety,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>Bless!<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf you join a new gym, school, workplace, or move to a new neighbourhood your mind will be checking out those in your vicinity for future friendship. We cannot underestimate the importance of these connections, as they enrich the new environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cFor example, a friendly neighbour keeps an eye on you and notices things that may be somewhat\\u00a0out of kilter for you at home or in the area. They may offer support when you go through hard times or enliven your home when you catch up.\\u201d<\\/p><p>The same logic applies to workmates.<\\/p><p>If you\\u2019ve worked in an environment where you didn\\u2019t feel you had a friend or someone you could vent to during a stressful day, you\\u2019ll know how much it sucks. It\\u2019s not that you need to hang out outside of the office \\u2013 but having a support system at work is crucial.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe spend more of our waking hours at work than we do at home. Good work friendships can make or break a job. Some jobs may be dull, even somewhat depressing, yet the friendships make it great. Friends help you look forward to going to work and enjoying your time together,\\u201d said Abrahams<\\/p><p>The not-so-good part? These type of friendships don\\u2019t always last.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we move jobs or finish university, we may not remain in contact. If we go to a new gym, we may ease off contact with our previous gym buddy,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis can be confusing for some people as they thought the relationship was important irrespective of the current environment.\\u201d<\\/p><p>However, thanks to social media, these days it\\u2019s so much easier to keep in touch with geographical friends, \\u201cas not everyone wants to make lengthy phone calls or \\u2018how are you?\\u2019 emails,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIf we maintain geographical friendships out of a particular environment they become intentional friendships, no longer bound by the geographic proximity.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Which brings us to\\u2026<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9736d49\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"722747a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"a008783\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"2. Intentional Friends\",\"header_size\":\"h3\",\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"08\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"926dd8b\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7df8d29\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"fa21e62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>\\u201cIntentional friends are those you maintain as you have shared values and provide meaning, offer support, interest, and joy to your life,\\u201d shares Abrahams.<\\/p><p>These\\u00a0particular\\u00a0friends can be split up into six different sub-categories:<\\/p><p><b>a) One or more full-spectrum best friends<\\/b><\\/p><p>Whether you\\u2019re having second thoughts about your relationship or stressing about your career, a full-spectrum best friend is there to help guide you in the right direction and pull you through the tough times.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends are there both in the good and bad times and everything in between. They\\u2019re the go-to friends for happy news and celebrations. They can share your joy, and they can also unconditionally love and support you through some pretty hairy times.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cFull-spectrum best friends may not always like your behaviour or opinions, but they don\\u2019t judge you or pull away. They\\u2019re loyal and would show their support of you to others even if you\\u2019re absent.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese best friends help you find light and laughter even in dark times. They sit with you and are not afraid of your grief or distress, whether it\\u2019s a breakup, loss of a job, or sickness. They show you through actions and words that you\\u2019re not alone.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>b) The completely honest friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>Ah. The brutally honest friend. These kinds\\u00a0of\\u00a0friends don\\u2019t tiptoe around anything and aren\\u2019t worried they\\u2019re going to hurt your feelings \\u2013 they always remain genuine and open and aren\\u2019t afraid to tell you the truth.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends don\\u2019t play along with social niceties and are honest with you all the time. They speak their mind, call your BS, and tell you how they feel about your life. They may sound judgemental, yet they\\u2019re often trying to support or even protect you,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>The thing about completely honest friends is that they know your relationship is strong enough to sustain the truth. So, while it\\u2019s not always easy (it might even hurt a little), they\\u2019re not scared to tell you where you can improve.<\\/p><p>And honestly, they\\u2019re so important to have in your life.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey will tell you whether you are being unfair to your partner or too harsh with your kids. They will tell you if you\\u2019re being treated appallingly and need to get out of your relationship or a dead-end job. Their honesty is how they show they value you.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>c) A mentor friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>Yes, friendships and mentors can co-exist.<\\/p><p>\\u201cWe no longer live in tribes with wise elders to tap into. We have less contact with religious figures offering advice, and we no longer believe politicians can guide us honestly without their self-interest flaunted in our face. Having friends who are mentors is critical for guiding, advising, thinking through options and opening possibilities.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Most mentor relationships play a consistent role in your life and will help you challenge your assumptions and give you the insights, advice and support you need to thrive.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThese friends are wise and can analyse situations and hold complexity in mind. They steer clear of black and white simplistic thinking. They\\u2019ve lived a bit, learnt lessons along the way, and are happy to share their experiences to support your journey.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>d) A \\u2018like a mum\\u2019 friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>This one \\u2013 this one\\u2019s important. The \\u2018mum\\u2019 friend is that one friend in your circle that\\u2019s responsible, caring and always protective of you.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is the friend who shows up at your door when they hear a wobble in your voice. They see themselves as part of the solution to the wobble and able to offer comfort. You feel safe to be vulnerable in their presence and even be held by them when you cry,\\u201d said Abrahams.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey\\u2019ll fix a meal, encourage you to eat and get you more tissues for your tears and snot. They\\u2019re reassuring about the future being better than this moment of distress or pain.\\u201d<\\/p><p>We\\u2019re not crying, you\\u2019re crying!<\\/p><p><b>e) The encouraging friend<\\/b><\\/p><p>\\u201cThis is the friend who wants you to grow and supports your development. They encourage you to expand your life experiences whether through travel, study, or career change.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Encouraging friends push us out of our comfort zones and where we need to go, making us aware that we can always do better. These kinds of friends believe in you, they know you\\u2019re capable, and they\\u2019re always ready to cheer you on from the side-line.<\\/p><p>\\u201cThey\\u2019re not fearful of a little risk for a greater reward and want you to have an experience-rich life too. For example, they may encourage you to travel for a year even if it means you\\u2019re not around for them. They see your growth as separate from their own lives.\\u201d<\\/p><p><b>f) The friend \\u2018I do that with\\u2019<\\/b><\\/p><p>You know the one. This is the person who\\u2019s always down to hang out. You\\u2019re bored on a Sunday arvo with nothing to do? This is who you call.<\\/p><p>\\u201cIt\\u2019s great to have friends you have shared specific experiences with. This could be someone who loves exercising with you, walking dogs, going to the movies or comedy shows with. The friendship thrives as you both love and value the experience. It could be your shared thing is nightclubbing or festivals or playing cards or sharing your Wordle results with every day.\\u201d<\\/p><p>\\u201cThe friend \\u2018I do that with\\u2019 may also relate to the content and quality of the interaction. Some friendships thrive on having interesting philosophical\\/life discussions or talking complete s**t together. This type of friend could be the friend you have the greatest laughs with or have amazing ideas and feel creative with.\\u201d<\\/p><p>Want to hear more? We\\u2019ve got you covered! Check out this e-book on\\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/service\\/what-makes-a-couple-relationship-a-happy-one\\/\\\"><strong>what makes a couple relationship a happy one<\\/strong><\\/a>.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(16416,5058,'case_study_content_padding','a:3:{s:5:\"units\";s:2:\"px\";s:11:\"padding-top\";s:1:\"0\";s:14:\"padding-bottom\";s:4:\"95px\";}'),(16417,5058,'_oembed_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','<iframe title=\"Video Placeholder\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/XHOmBV4js_E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen></iframe>'),(16418,5058,'_oembed_time_1b36688543d4d62a4a94550f822b61eb','1587374837'),(16419,5058,'_wp_old_slug','find-yourself-of-julia'),(16420,5058,'_thumbnail_id','5018'),(16421,5058,'case_customer','David Luis'),(16422,5058,'case_signs','Unstable psychology serious'),(16423,5058,'case_result','100% Psychological stability'),(16424,5058,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(16425,5058,'_edit_lock','1665973019:3'),(16426,5058,'_edit_last','3'),(16427,5058,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(16428,5058,'_wp_old_slug','mamamia'),(16430,5058,'_wp_old_date','2022-07-24'),(16463,5059,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(16464,5059,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(16465,5059,'_elementor_version','3.7.2'),(16466,5059,'_wp_page_template','default'),