(19597,5297,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"98c2662\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c0a391\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"626734a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Us poor mortals! We have some major blind spots that impact our lives and relationships. I\\u2019ve totally felt the impact of these blind spots throughout life, and I can guarantee that you have too. As these blind spots are held in our unconscious mind \\u2013 we simply don\\u2019t know what they are how they cause us to create distress and chaos. Put simply, we don\\u2019t know what we don\\u2019t know and we can pay a hefty price for this.<\\/p><p>The blind spot I want to discuss today is <b>TRIGGERS<\\/b> \\u2013 this is a monster blind spot!<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f81e0d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a6ef2a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ae3814c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a trigger?\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"5d2df73\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"501f394\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dce5651\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A trigger is\\u00a0any behaviour or stimuli that causes us to recall a traumatic or distressing\\u00a0emotional experience from the past.<\\/p><p>The problem we face is that when we have been triggered, we have no awareness of this past event, and the emotional experience feels very present. Some of these past events that distressed us happened when we were\\u00a0 young, and often with parents or caregivers who were:\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a7d9018\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"88eb374\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db324f0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"icon_list\":[{\"text\":\"overbearing\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"ab13eea\"},{\"text\":\"controlling\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"885efaa\"},{\"text\":\"critical\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"2b882b2\"},{\"text\":\"disappoving\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"fa34e0b\"},{\"text\":\"blaming\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6d875ff\"},{\"text\":\"judgmental\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"12d81bd\"},{\"text\":\"unsupportive\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"b28f091\"},{\"text\":\"unavailable\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6250a7f\"},{\"text\":\"frightening\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"90a910c\"},{\"text\":\"abusive or violent\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"771cc10\"}],\"icon_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"icon-list\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Parents didn\\u2019t necessarily mean to be frightening, judgmental, disapproving or overbearing. They have their blind spots too. The thing is that children are so dependent on them for absolutely everything emotionally, practically, and financially. Children are rather powerless in the scheme of things.<\\/p><p>This means that as children we were vulnerable to the emotional state of our parents. If they were sufficiently well and present, then we were fortunate and experienced less fear in childhood. Yet if not, then home would have had moments of being frightening and even traumatizing.<\\/p><p>These experiences leave an imprint on our mind and body, which remains with us throughout life, unless we find ways to heal. The imprint it leaves is fear, which remains encoded and causes us to have greater reactivity and insecurity throughout life and in a whole host of relationships.<\\/p><p>This means that throughout life we will perceive our environment and relationships to be more threatening causing us to be more triggered than those raised with more stability.<\\/p><p>When we\\u2019re triggered, the emotions in the present feel awful, overwhelming, and even dangerous because the triggering event or behaviour has, what I call, a whiff of familiarity to the past. At that moment we can feel as small and vulnerable as we did in childhood. It doesn\\u2019t mean that we are actually in a similarly vulnerable position again \\u2013 we just feel it\\u2019s the same level of vulnerability.<\\/p><p>We feel the fear like we did when we were small, and attribute this to whoever we are with. Is it our partner\\u2019s tone of voice or their volume? Is it a look of disapproval from our boss? Is it an action or a particular phrase they use? We all have different triggers based on what is encoded in our relational template.<\\/p><p>Whether we are with friends, family, our partner, or with colleagues, we will be more prone to being triggered. We will perceive others to be a threat to us and then react to them as if the threat were similar to the threat we experienced in childhood. This causes us to go into survival mode \\u2013 our fight-or-flight response.<\\/p><p>In<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong> fight mode<\\/strong><\\/span> we may yell, complain, tantrum, use pushback, name call or belittle the person who we believe is a threat to us.<\\/p><p>In <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>flight mode<\\/strong><\\/span>, we may want to escape by leaving for another room or the streets or even turn to self-destructive behaviours like drinking alcohol or becoming compliant \\u2013 to make the feelings go away.<\\/p><p>The problem with triggers is that our boss, colleague, partner, children, mother-in-law, or friend, were not around when we were frightened, overwhelmed or sad as a child. They are just being themselves and are not in contact with our triggers. It\\u2019s critical we identify our triggers and understand where they come from, or we will continue to create distress and chaos in our own lives and in the lives of others.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(19598,5297,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1663153698;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(19599,5298,'_wp_page_template','default'),(19600,5298,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(19601,5298,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(19602,5298,'_elementor_version','3.7.4'),(19603,5298,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(19604,5298,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(19605,5298,'_thumbnail_id','5295'),(19606,5298,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:5:{s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:3;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:0:{}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:1:{s:5:\"title\";i:1;}}}}s:9:\"icon-list\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:12:\"section_icon\";a:1:{s:9:\"icon_list\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:18:\"section_icon_style\";a:1:{s:10:\"icon_color\";i:1;}}}}}'),(19607,5298,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"98c2662\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c0a391\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"626734a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Us poor mortals! We have some major blind spots that impact our lives and relationships. I\\u2019ve totally felt the impact of these blind spots throughout life, and I can guarantee that you have too. As these blind spots are held in our unconscious mind \\u2013 we simply don\\u2019t know what they are how they cause us to create distress and chaos. Put simply, we don\\u2019t know what we don\\u2019t know and we can pay a hefty price for this.<\\/p><p>The blind spot I want to discuss today is <b>TRIGGERS<\\/b> \\u2013 this is a monster blind spot!<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"6f81e0d\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"7a6ef2a\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"ae3814c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"What is a trigger?\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"5d2df73\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"501f394\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"dce5651\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>A trigger is\\u00a0any behaviour or stimuli that causes us to recall a traumatic or distressing\\u00a0emotional experience from the past.<\\/p><p>The problem we face is that when we have been triggered, we have no awareness of this past event, and the emotional experience feels very present. Some of these past events that distressed us happened when we were\\u00a0 young, and often with parents or caregivers who were:\\u00a0<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a7d9018\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"88eb374\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db324f0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"icon_list\":[{\"text\":\"overbearing\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"ab13eea\"},{\"text\":\"controlling\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"885efaa\"},{\"text\":\"critical\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"2b882b2\"},{\"text\":\"disappoving\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"fa34e0b\"},{\"text\":\"blaming\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6d875ff\"},{\"text\":\"judgmental\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"12d81bd\"},{\"text\":\"unsupportive\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"b28f091\"},{\"text\":\"unavailable\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6250a7f\"},{\"text\":\"frightening\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"90a910c\"},{\"text\":\"abusive or violent\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"771cc10\"}],\"icon_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"icon-list\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Parents didn\\u2019t necessarily mean to be frightening, judgmental, disapproving or overbearing. They have their blind spots too. The thing is that children are so dependent on them for absolutely everything emotionally, practically, and financially. Children are rather powerless in the scheme of things.<\\/p><p>This means that as children we were vulnerable to the emotional state of our parents. If they were sufficiently well and present, then we were fortunate and experienced less fear in childhood. Yet if not, then home would have had moments of being frightening and even traumatizing.<\\/p><p>These experiences leave an imprint on our mind and body, which remains with us throughout life, unless we find ways to heal. The imprint it leaves is fear, which remains encoded and causes us to have greater reactivity and insecurity throughout life and in a whole host of relationships.<\\/p><p>This means that throughout life we will perceive our environment and relationships to be more threatening causing us to be more triggered than those raised with more stability.<\\/p><p>When we\\u2019re triggered, the emotions in the present feel awful, overwhelming, and even dangerous because the triggering event or behaviour has, what I call, a whiff of familiarity to the past. At that moment we can feel as small and vulnerable as we did in childhood. It doesn\\u2019t mean that we are actually in a similarly vulnerable position again \\u2013 we just feel it\\u2019s the same level of vulnerability.<\\/p><p>We feel the fear like we did when we were small, and attribute this to whoever we are with. Is it our partner\\u2019s tone of voice or their volume? Is it a look of disapproval from our boss? Is it an action or a particular phrase they use? We all have different triggers based on what is encoded in our relational template.<\\/p><p>Whether we are with friends, family, our partner, or with colleagues, we will be more prone to being triggered. We will perceive others to be a threat to us and then react to them as if the threat were similar to the threat we experienced in childhood. This causes us to go into survival mode \\u2013 our fight-or-flight response.<\\/p><p>In<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong> fight mode<\\/strong><\\/span> we may yell, complain, tantrum, use pushback, name call or belittle the person who we believe is a threat to us.<\\/p><p>In <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>flight mode<\\/strong><\\/span>, we may want to escape by leaving for another room or the streets or even turn to self-destructive behaviours like drinking alcohol or becoming compliant \\u2013 to make the feelings go away.<\\/p><p>The problem with triggers is that our boss, colleague, partner, children, mother-in-law, or friend, were not around when we were frightened, overwhelmed or sad as a child. They are just being themselves and are not in contact with our triggers. It\\u2019s critical we identify our triggers and understand where they come from, or we will continue to create distress and chaos in our own lives and in the lives of others.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(19608,5298,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1663153698;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(19609,5299,'_wp_page_template','default'),(19610,5299,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(19611,5299,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(19612,5299,'_elementor_version','3.7.4'),(19613,5299,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(19614,5299,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(19615,5299,'_thumbnail_id','5295'),(19616,5299,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:5:{s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:3;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:5;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:5;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:0:{}}s:7:\"heading\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:13:\"section_title\";a:1:{s:5:\"title\";i:1;}}}}s:9:\"icon-list\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:12:\"section_icon\";a:1:{s:9:\"icon_list\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:18:\"section_icon_style\";a:1:{s:10:\"icon_color\";i:1;}}}}}'),(19617,5299,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"98c2662\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c0a391\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"626734a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Recently I shared with you how our triggers are a massive blind spot that can cause distress and chaos in our lives. And as they are unconscious, for most of us we have absolutely no idea what triggers us and why.<\\/p><p>It is the why that leads me to share with you the next major blind spot that impacts our lives \\u2013 this is our relational template. The way we have been consciously and unconsciously wired is held in our relational templates.<\\/p><p>When we were young, we absorbed so much information, the happy and connected times, and the frightening or lonely times. Imagine that these experiences were encoded into our relational template \\u2013 it is like a program that we run our relationships from throughout life.<\\/p><p>It holds our expectations, beliefs, opinions, and rules for how we should or shouldn\\u2019t behave and be treated in a relationship. We all have a unique relational template \\u2013 made up of thousands and thousands of interactions with parents or caregivers.<\\/p><p>What we don\\u2019t truly understand is how we are wired for relationships inside of our own mind. We might get a glimpse of it through our behaviour or the stories we create about ourselves, others, and situations.<\\/p><p>Our partner\\u2019s relational template will be different so there will always be a gap between theirs and ours. What\\u2019s critical is how partners navigate this gap. It\\u2019s the difference between a safe and happy enough relationship and one that struggles, has conflict, or even ends.<\\/p><p>For many of us who can\\u2019t tolerate this gap, we will experience what\\u2019s called distress intolerance. This means we are unable to sit with the difficult feelings that come up for when faced with our partner having different relationship expectations, beliefs, opinions, or rules from us.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>We can feel distressed, sad, lonely, overwhelmed if our partner doesn\\u2019t:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a7d9018\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"88eb374\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db324f0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"icon_list\":[{\"text\":\"Respect us in a way that we want to be respected \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"ab13eea\"},{\"text\":\"Protect us in a way that we want protection \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"885efaa\"},{\"text\":\"Communicate in a way that we approve of\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"2b882b2\"},{\"text\":\"Celebrate our birthday or anniversary with significant importance\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"fa34e0b\"},{\"text\":\"Offer us sufficient care, concern, or containment so we feel safe\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6d875ff\"}],\"icon_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"icon-list\"},{\"id\":\"110713e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":20,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We can even feel betrayal at a deep level when faced with the reality of who our partner is, compared to who we want them to be, so we feel safe. We want them to operate according to our relational template. We may even try to control them and move them to be like us. This doesn\\u2019t work generally. No-one like to be changed or controlled and deep down we all want to be accepted for who we are.<\\/p><p>If we can\\u2019t sit with and process this distress, we usually try to suppress it by stuffing it down inside of ourselves or we shove the awful feelings onto someone else. I call the latter emotional vomiting. We all know what it feels like to have someone\\u2019s emotional vomit on us. It feels brutal and icky. We will typically have something to say about it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical for all of us to work on ourselves to stop the chaos and distress in our own lives. We also have a responsibility to not emotionally vomit on others. This means we need to understand how our own relational templates from childhood still operate in us today.<\\/p><p>Are we still clingy? Are we still mistrusting? Are we still secretive? Are we still lonely? We don\\u2019t need to keep doing this today, but we can\\u2019t change what we don\\u2019t know. So how do we do this? Therapy, books, online courses, and podcasts are helpful for joining our past with our present. 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We all need to know about this.<\\/p><p>Otherness reflects a particular struggle that all of us humans have, and in the newspaper, it\\u2019s just played out on a bigger stage.<\\/p><p>So, what is this particular struggle?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s the difficulty we have dealing with other people\\u2019s \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This is the quality or fact of being different.<\\/p><p>Otherness shows itself when we feel someone is not like me in skin colour, gender, religion, opinion, clothing, sexuality, social status, financial equivalence, country of origin, family, and\\/or more.<\\/p><p>Anything that highlights an individual, group, even a country\\u2019s otherness can be experienced as a mild to severe threat. When they are perceived to be a threat, our defensive responses kick in. We may gossip about them, not employ them, move away from them, ostracise them, belittle them, or even stalk them. 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Research estimates 60,000 women experienced abuse for the first time in 2020. This was the first wave of the pandemic. We don\\u2019t know the figures yet for the second year of restrictions and lockdowns. I can\\u2019t imagine they\\u2019ve improved.<\\/p><p>This figure reveals the partners (perpetrators) escalating attempts to control and dominate an \\u2018other\\u2019 - their partner (their victim). Their right for safety in the home was denied, and instead, they experienced their partner\\u2019s control, abuse, and violence.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9ce00f4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"190c3b4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cd14a69\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e186ae6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":90},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d90e04\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"I\\u2019ll stop your bloodline\\u2019: Anti-Semitism reports grow across Sydney schools\",\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1cc0956\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"03cde77\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4b57aea\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This article shows how \\u2018otherness\\u2019 has been determined by religion, where Jewish school children are being given the Nazi salute, told by another student that \\u201che would like to become Hitler to \\u201chunt down his family and stop the bloodline\\u201d. Another child was stuffed into a locker and sprayed with deodorant to simulate a Nazi gas chamber. This was laughed at by other students and filmed.<\\/p><p>The Holocaust revealed the cruel extent that was institutionalised due to \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This not only saw the extermination of 6 million Jews in Europe, but also trampled millions of \\u2018others\\u2019. These include millions of Soviets, Poles, and Serbs. Also annihilated were Jehovah\\u2019s Witnesses, criminals, homosexuals, those with disabilities or gypsies. It was an \\u2018otherness\\u2019 hate fest.<\\/p><p>Sadly, we haven\\u2019t been able to learn from this. Recently a study also found widespread religious attacks on Christians, Muslims, and Hindus in Australian schools. Students also experience homophobic and transphobic bullying.<\\/p><p>\\u2018Otherness\\u2019 is innate. It is biologically wired into us to perceive those who are like us as \\u2018friends\\u2019 and those who are not as \\u2018foes\\u2019 This had massive safety implications for early man as other tribes or animals were likely deemed a threat \\u2013 unless proven otherwise.<\\/p><p>Given we are all wired this way, we need to take care to process our need to categorise and label people into groups of those like me versus those who are other and therefore, not like me.<\\/p><p>We all need to check our own biases, racism, and forms of discrimination. We can listen to the voice of our ego and the stories it constructs. We can check our behaviour to see if we have acted with prejudice or a lack of respect. We can call out our friends and colleagues for their casual racism and discrimination.<\\/p><p>We can all pull up our societal socks.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bbaf39\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a302c3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"671ef9c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p><strong>If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault or family violence, call 1800RESPECT\\u00a0on 1800 737 732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au. 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And as they are unconscious, for most of us we have absolutely no idea what triggers us and why.<\\/p><p>It is the why that leads me to share with you the next major blind spot that impacts our lives \\u2013 this is our relational template. The way we have been consciously and unconsciously wired is held in our relational templates.<\\/p><p>When we were young, we absorbed so much information, the happy and connected times, and the frightening or lonely times. Imagine that these experiences were encoded into our relational template \\u2013 it is like a program that we run our relationships from throughout life.<\\/p><p>It holds our expectations, beliefs, opinions, and rules for how we should or shouldn\\u2019t behave and be treated in a relationship. We all have a unique relational template \\u2013 made up of thousands and thousands of interactions with parents or caregivers.<\\/p><p>What we don\\u2019t truly understand is how we are wired for relationships inside of our own mind. 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This means we are unable to sit with the difficult feelings that come up for when faced with our partner having different relationship expectations, beliefs, opinions, or rules from us.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>We can feel distressed, sad, lonely, overwhelmed if our partner doesn\\u2019t:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a7d9018\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"88eb374\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db324f0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"icon_list\":[{\"text\":\"Respect us in a way that we want to be respected \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"ab13eea\"},{\"text\":\"Protect us in a way that we want protection \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"885efaa\"},{\"text\":\"Communicate in a way that we approve of\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"2b882b2\"},{\"text\":\"Celebrate our birthday or anniversary with significant importance\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"fa34e0b\"},{\"text\":\"Offer us sufficient care, concern, or containment so we feel safe\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6d875ff\"}],\"icon_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"icon-list\"},{\"id\":\"110713e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":20,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We can even feel betrayal at a deep level when faced with the reality of who our partner is, compared to who we want them to be, so we feel safe. We want them to operate according to our relational template. We may even try to control them and move them to be like us. This doesn\\u2019t work generally. No-one like to be changed or controlled and deep down we all want to be accepted for who we are.<\\/p><p>If we can\\u2019t sit with and process this distress, we usually try to suppress it by stuffing it down inside of ourselves or we shove the awful feelings onto someone else. I call the latter emotional vomiting. We all know what it feels like to have someone\\u2019s emotional vomit on us. It feels brutal and icky. We will typically have something to say about it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical for all of us to work on ourselves to stop the chaos and distress in our own lives. We also have a responsibility to not emotionally vomit on others. This means we need to understand how our own relational templates from childhood still operate in us today.<\\/p><p>Are we still clingy? Are we still mistrusting? Are we still secretive? Are we still lonely? We don\\u2019t need to keep doing this today, but we can\\u2019t change what we don\\u2019t know. So how do we do this? Therapy, books, online courses, and podcasts are helpful for joining our past with our present. We can then increase our ability to tolerate the gap between our relational template and others, so we are less distressed and create less chaos in life.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(19703,5306,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1663158403;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(19704,5307,'_wp_page_template','default'),(19705,5307,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(19706,5307,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(19707,5307,'_elementor_version','3.7.4'),(19708,5307,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(19709,5307,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(19710,5307,'_thumbnail_id','5303'),(19711,5307,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:5:{s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:2;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:3;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:0:{}}s:9:\"icon-list\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:12:\"section_icon\";a:1:{s:9:\"icon_list\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:18:\"section_icon_style\";a:1:{s:10:\"icon_color\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:1;}}}}}'),(19712,5307,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"98c2662\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c0a391\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"626734a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Recently I shared with you how our triggers are a massive blind spot that can cause distress and chaos in our lives. And as they are unconscious, for most of us we have absolutely no idea what triggers us and why.<\\/p><p>It is the why that leads me to share with you the next major blind spot that impacts our lives \\u2013 this is our relational template. The way we have been consciously and unconsciously wired is held in our relational templates.<\\/p><p>When we were young, we absorbed so much information, the happy and connected times, and the frightening or lonely times. Imagine that these experiences were encoded into our relational template \\u2013 it is like a program that we run our relationships from throughout life.<\\/p><p>It holds our expectations, beliefs, opinions, and rules for how we should or shouldn\\u2019t behave and be treated in a relationship. We all have a unique relational template \\u2013 made up of thousands and thousands of interactions with parents or caregivers.<\\/p><p>What we don\\u2019t truly understand is how we are wired for relationships inside of our own mind. 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This means we are unable to sit with the difficult feelings that come up for when faced with our partner having different relationship expectations, beliefs, opinions, or rules from us.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>We can feel distressed, sad, lonely, overwhelmed if our partner doesn\\u2019t:<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"a7d9018\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"88eb374\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"db324f0\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"icon_list\":[{\"text\":\"Respect us in a way that we want to be respected \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"ab13eea\"},{\"text\":\"Protect us in a way that we want protection \",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"885efaa\"},{\"text\":\"Communicate in a way that we approve of\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"2b882b2\"},{\"text\":\"Celebrate our birthday or anniversary with significant importance\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"fa34e0b\"},{\"text\":\"Offer us sufficient care, concern, or containment so we feel safe\",\"selected_icon\":{\"value\":\"fas fa-circle\",\"library\":\"fa-solid\"},\"_id\":\"6d875ff\"}],\"icon_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"icon-list\"},{\"id\":\"110713e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"space\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":20,\"sizes\":[]}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"spacer\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>We can even feel betrayal at a deep level when faced with the reality of who our partner is, compared to who we want them to be, so we feel safe. We want them to operate according to our relational template. We may even try to control them and move them to be like us. This doesn\\u2019t work generally. No-one like to be changed or controlled and deep down we all want to be accepted for who we are.<\\/p><p>If we can\\u2019t sit with and process this distress, we usually try to suppress it by stuffing it down inside of ourselves or we shove the awful feelings onto someone else. I call the latter emotional vomiting. We all know what it feels like to have someone\\u2019s emotional vomit on us. It feels brutal and icky. We will typically have something to say about it.\\u00a0<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s critical for all of us to work on ourselves to stop the chaos and distress in our own lives. We also have a responsibility to not emotionally vomit on others. This means we need to understand how our own relational templates from childhood still operate in us today.<\\/p><p>Are we still clingy? Are we still mistrusting? Are we still secretive? Are we still lonely? We don\\u2019t need to keep doing this today, but we can\\u2019t change what we don\\u2019t know. So how do we do this? Therapy, books, online courses, and podcasts are helpful for joining our past with our present. We can then increase our ability to tolerate the gap between our relational template and others, so we are less distressed and create less chaos in life.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false}]'),(19713,5307,'_elementor_css','a:6:{s:4:\"time\";i:1663158403;s:5:\"fonts\";a:0:{}s:5:\"icons\";a:0:{}s:20:\"dynamic_elements_ids\";a:0:{}s:6:\"status\";s:4:\"file\";i:0;s:0:\"\";}'),(19714,5308,'_wp_page_template','default'),(19715,5308,'_elementor_edit_mode','builder'),(19716,5308,'_elementor_template_type','wp-post'),(19717,5308,'_elementor_version','3.7.4'),(19718,5308,'_elementor_pro_version','3.6.5'),(19719,5308,'_elementor_page_assets','a:0:{}'),(19720,5308,'_thumbnail_id','5303'),(19721,5308,'_elementor_controls_usage','a:5:{s:11:\"text-editor\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:2;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_editor\";a:1:{s:6:\"editor\";i:2;}}}}s:6:\"column\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:6:\"layout\";a:1:{s:12:\"_inline_size\";i:3;}}}}s:7:\"section\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:3;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:0:{}}s:9:\"icon-list\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:1;s:8:\"controls\";a:2:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:12:\"section_icon\";a:1:{s:9:\"icon_list\";i:1;}}s:5:\"style\";a:1:{s:18:\"section_icon_style\";a:1:{s:10:\"icon_color\";i:1;}}}}s:6:\"spacer\";a:3:{s:5:\"count\";i:1;s:15:\"control_percent\";i:0;s:8:\"controls\";a:1:{s:7:\"content\";a:1:{s:14:\"section_spacer\";a:1:{s:5:\"space\";i:1;}}}}}'),(19722,5308,'_elementor_data','[{\"id\":\"98c2662\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"9c0a391\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"626734a\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>I had a quick look at the newspapers yesterday and I knew straight away I had to write a blog on \\u2018otherness\\u2019. We all need to know about this.<\\/p><p>Otherness reflects a particular struggle that all of us humans have, and in the newspaper, it\\u2019s just played out on a bigger stage.<\\/p><p>So, what is this particular struggle?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s the difficulty we have dealing with other people\\u2019s \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This is the quality or fact of being different.<\\/p><p>Otherness shows itself when we feel someone is not like me in skin colour, gender, religion, opinion, clothing, sexuality, social status, financial equivalence, country of origin, family, and\\/or more.<\\/p><p>Anything that highlights an individual, group, even a country\\u2019s otherness can be experienced as a mild to severe threat. When they are perceived to be a threat, our defensive responses kick in. We may gossip about them, not employ them, move away from them, ostracise them, belittle them, or even stalk them. We can also treat the \\u2018other\\u2019 with hostility, violence, or even cause their death.<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s important to note that this doesn\\u2019t mean the \\u2018other\\u2019 is actually a threat \\u2013 it\\u2019s the perception of threat that otherness creates inside of us. Let\\u2019s look at how this plays out in two of the newspapers articles.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1b2856e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"32865e1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4674478\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"753b3e7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":90},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1a39d28\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Rising domestic violence during the pandemic\",\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Domestic violence generally increases massively after large scale disasters. Research estimates 60,000 women experienced abuse for the first time in 2020. This was the first wave of the pandemic. We don\\u2019t know the figures yet for the second year of restrictions and lockdowns. I can\\u2019t imagine they\\u2019ve improved.<\\/p><p>This figure reveals the partners (perpetrators) escalating attempts to control and dominate an \\u2018other\\u2019 - their partner (their victim). Their right for safety in the home was denied, and instead, they experienced their partner\\u2019s control, abuse, and violence.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9ce00f4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"190c3b4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cd14a69\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e186ae6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":90},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d90e04\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"I\\u2019ll stop your bloodline\\u2019: Anti-Semitism reports grow across Sydney schools\",\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1cc0956\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"03cde77\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4b57aea\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This article shows how \\u2018otherness\\u2019 has been determined by religion, where Jewish school children are being given the Nazi salute, told by another student that \\u201che would like to become Hitler to \\u201chunt down his family and stop the bloodline\\u201d. Another child was stuffed into a locker and sprayed with deodorant to simulate a Nazi gas chamber. This was laughed at by other students and filmed.<\\/p><p>The Holocaust revealed the cruel extent that was institutionalised due to \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This not only saw the extermination of 6 million Jews in Europe, but also trampled millions of \\u2018others\\u2019. These include millions of Soviets, Poles, and Serbs. Also annihilated were Jehovah\\u2019s Witnesses, criminals, homosexuals, those with disabilities or gypsies. It was an \\u2018otherness\\u2019 hate fest.<\\/p><p>Sadly, we haven\\u2019t been able to learn from this. Recently a study also found widespread religious attacks on Christians, Muslims, and Hindus in Australian schools. Students also experience homophobic and transphobic bullying.<\\/p><p>\\u2018Otherness\\u2019 is innate. It is biologically wired into us to perceive those who are like us as \\u2018friends\\u2019 and those who are not as \\u2018foes\\u2019 This had massive safety implications for early man as other tribes or animals were likely deemed a threat \\u2013 unless proven otherwise.<\\/p><p>Given we are all wired this way, we need to take care to process our need to categorise and label people into groups of those like me versus those who are other and therefore, not like me.<\\/p><p>We all need to check our own biases, racism, and forms of discrimination. We can listen to the voice of our ego and the stories it constructs. We can check our behaviour to see if we have acted with prejudice or a lack of respect. We can call out our friends and colleagues for their casual racism and discrimination.<\\/p><p>We can all pull up our societal socks.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bbaf39\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a302c3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"671ef9c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p><strong>If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault or family violence, call 1800RESPECT\\u00a0on 1800 737 732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au. 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We all need to know about this.<\\/p><p>Otherness reflects a particular struggle that all of us humans have, and in the newspaper, it\\u2019s just played out on a bigger stage.<\\/p><p>So, what is this particular struggle?<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s the difficulty we have dealing with other people\\u2019s \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This is the quality or fact of being different.<\\/p><p>Otherness shows itself when we feel someone is not like me in skin colour, gender, religion, opinion, clothing, sexuality, social status, financial equivalence, country of origin, family, and\\/or more.<\\/p><p>Anything that highlights an individual, group, even a country\\u2019s otherness can be experienced as a mild to severe threat. When they are perceived to be a threat, our defensive responses kick in. We may gossip about them, not employ them, move away from them, ostracise them, belittle them, or even stalk them. We can also treat the \\u2018other\\u2019 with hostility, violence, or even cause their death.<\\/p><p>It\\u2019s important to note that this doesn\\u2019t mean the \\u2018other\\u2019 is actually a threat \\u2013 it\\u2019s the perception of threat that otherness creates inside of us. Let\\u2019s look at how this plays out in two of the newspapers articles.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1b2856e\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"32865e1\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4674478\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/1.png\",\"id\":3747,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"753b3e7\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":90},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1a39d28\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"Rising domestic violence during the pandemic\",\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"de5e67a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"d14e92c\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"62f447c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>Domestic violence generally increases massively after large scale disasters. Research estimates 60,000 women experienced abuse for the first time in 2020. This was the first wave of the pandemic. We don\\u2019t know the figures yet for the second year of restrictions and lockdowns. I can\\u2019t imagine they\\u2019ve improved.<\\/p><p>This figure reveals the partners (perpetrators) escalating attempts to control and dominate an \\u2018other\\u2019 - their partner (their victim). Their right for safety in the home was denied, and instead, they experienced their partner\\u2019s control, abuse, and violence.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"9ce00f4\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"190c3b4\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":10},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"cd14a69\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"image\":{\"url\":\"https:\\/\\/www.lissyabrahams.com\\/wp-content\\/uploads\\/2022\\/07\\/2.png\",\"id\":3748,\"alt\":\"\",\"source\":\"library\"}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\"}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"e186ae6\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":90},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"0d90e04\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"title\":\"I\\u2019ll stop your bloodline\\u2019: Anti-Semitism reports grow across Sydney schools\",\"title_color\":\"#BA9664\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"heading\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"1cc0956\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"03cde77\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"4b57aea\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p>This article shows how \\u2018otherness\\u2019 has been determined by religion, where Jewish school children are being given the Nazi salute, told by another student that \\u201che would like to become Hitler to \\u201chunt down his family and stop the bloodline\\u201d. Another child was stuffed into a locker and sprayed with deodorant to simulate a Nazi gas chamber. This was laughed at by other students and filmed.<\\/p><p>The Holocaust revealed the cruel extent that was institutionalised due to \\u2018otherness\\u2019. This not only saw the extermination of 6 million Jews in Europe, but also trampled millions of \\u2018others\\u2019. These include millions of Soviets, Poles, and Serbs. Also annihilated were Jehovah\\u2019s Witnesses, criminals, homosexuals, those with disabilities or gypsies. It was an \\u2018otherness\\u2019 hate fest.<\\/p><p>Sadly, we haven\\u2019t been able to learn from this. Recently a study also found widespread religious attacks on Christians, Muslims, and Hindus in Australian schools. Students also experience homophobic and transphobic bullying.<\\/p><p>\\u2018Otherness\\u2019 is innate. It is biologically wired into us to perceive those who are like us as \\u2018friends\\u2019 and those who are not as \\u2018foes\\u2019 This had massive safety implications for early man as other tribes or animals were likely deemed a threat \\u2013 unless proven otherwise.<\\/p><p>Given we are all wired this way, we need to take care to process our need to categorise and label people into groups of those like me versus those who are other and therefore, not like me.<\\/p><p>We all need to check our own biases, racism, and forms of discrimination. We can listen to the voice of our ego and the stories it constructs. We can check our behaviour to see if we have acted with prejudice or a lack of respect. We can call out our friends and colleagues for their casual racism and discrimination.<\\/p><p>We can all pull up our societal socks.<\\/p>\"},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"0bbaf39\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"8a302c3\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"671ef9c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<p><strong>If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault or family violence, call 1800RESPECT\\u00a0on 1800 737 732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au. 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Learning to communicate with your partner caringly, respectfully, and skilfully is essential for a happy relationship.<\\/p>\",\"align\":\"left\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"53ca83a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1425d99\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":35,\"margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"-20\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"-20\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"180d8d9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<h3><span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><b>Would you like to\\u2026<\\/b><\\/span><\\/h3>\\n<div>&nbsp;<\\/div>\\n<ul>\\n<li>Increase respect in your relationship&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to fight for it?<\\/li>\\n<li>Feel deeper levels of love and connectedness <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to be in the \\u2018honeymoon\\u2019 phase?<\\/li>\\n<li>Experience increased sexual connectedness&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>rejection?<\\/li>\\n<li>Increase happiness and have a peaceful home&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>being triggered by your partner?<\\/li>\\n<\\/ul>\\n<p>Committed relationships are difficult. For many of us, our communication difficulties can lead to upsetting conflict. Over time, this hurts the relationship as partners often lose trust in each other and decrease their desire for emotional closeness and sexual connection. Prolonged, unresolved conflict and repeated cycles of blame can even result in the relationship ending.<\\/p>\\n<p class=\\\"p1\\\">This course has been created to ensure that your relationship can not only survive but thrive. It will help you to understand your own relationship and develop the skills needed to improve communication so that you and your partner become happier and more connected.<\\/p>\\n<p>You will understand why couples&nbsp;<em>really<\\/em>&nbsp;fight by leading expert&nbsp;<em>Lissy Abrahams.&nbsp;<\\/em>You will be guided through strategies for ending the conflict using video content alongside a comprehensive workbook.<\\/p>\\n<p>You can work through this course either individually or with your partner. When one partner alone makes positive changes, the relationship feels lighter and more connected. When partners do this course together, they go on a journey of discovery that is life-changing and increases intimacy. 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It will help you gain new insights into yourself and how you relate to your partner, focusing on thoughts and behaviours which can present challenges. Learning to communicate with your partner caringly, respectfully, and skilfully is essential for a happy relationship.<\\/p>\",\"align\":\"left\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"53ca83a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":[],\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1425d99\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":100,\"_inline_size\":null},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"180d8d9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<h3><span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><b>Would you like to\\u2026<\\/b><\\/span><\\/h3><div>\\u00a0<\\/div><ul><li>Increase respect in your relationship\\u00a0<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>\\u00a0<\\/span>having to fight for it?<\\/li><li>Feel deeper levels of love and connectedness <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>\\u00a0<\\/span>having to be in the \\u2018honeymoon\\u2019 phase?<\\/li><li>Experience increased sexual connectedness\\u00a0<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/span>rejection?<\\/li><li>Increase happiness and have a peaceful home\\u00a0<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without\\u00a0<\\/strong><\\/span>being triggered by your partner?<\\/li><\\/ul><p>Committed relationships are difficult. 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Learning to communicate with your partner caringly, respectfully, and skilfully is essential for a happy relationship.<\\/p>\",\"align\":\"left\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"53ca83a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1425d99\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":40},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"180d8d9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<h3><span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><b>Would you like to\\u2026<\\/b><\\/span><\\/h3>\\n<div>&nbsp;<\\/div>\\n<ul>\\n<li>Increase respect in your relationship&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to fight for it?<\\/li>\\n<li>Feel deeper levels of love and connectedness <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to be in the \\u2018honeymoon\\u2019 phase?<\\/li>\\n<li>Experience increased sexual connectedness&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>rejection?<\\/li>\\n<li>Increase happiness and have a peaceful home&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>being triggered by your partner?<\\/li>\\n<\\/ul>\\n<p>Committed relationships are difficult. 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It will help you gain new insights into yourself and how you relate to your partner, focusing on thoughts and behaviours which can present challenges. Learning to communicate with your partner caringly, respectfully, and skilfully is essential for a happy relationship.<\\/p>\",\"align\":\"left\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false}},\"elements\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\"}],\"isInner\":false}],\"isInner\":false},{\"id\":\"53ca83a\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"settings\":{\"structure\":\"20\"},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"1425d99\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"settings\":{\"_column_size\":50,\"_inline_size\":35},\"elements\":[{\"id\":\"180d8d9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"settings\":{\"editor\":\"<h3><span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><b>Would you like to\\u2026<\\/b><\\/span><\\/h3>\\n<div>&nbsp;<\\/div>\\n<ul>\\n<li>Increase respect in your relationship&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to fight for it?<\\/li>\\n<li>Feel deeper levels of love and connectedness <span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without<\\/strong>&nbsp;<\\/span>having to be in the \\u2018honeymoon\\u2019 phase?<\\/li>\\n<li>Experience increased sexual connectedness&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>rejection?<\\/li>\\n<li>Increase happiness and have a peaceful home&nbsp;<span style=\\\"color: #ba9664;\\\"><strong>without&nbsp;<\\/strong><\\/span>being triggered by your partner?<\\/li>\\n<\\/ul>\\n<p>Committed relationships are difficult. 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